He sat on the edge of his bed, the room surrounded by darkness.
The air was cold and harsh, wind blowing through an open window.
Sound crackled from the panel, as lights flashed across the board.
He stood up in a rush, tumbling off his bed.
Blue streams of light swirled in a cylindrical fashion.
The man rose up, staring into the whirling and shapeless light.
A woman's face appeared within the light.
Then her arms.
She was there.
Tears welled up in his eyes, streaming gently down his cheeks.
The woman began to smile, and cried along with him.
She reached out her hand, in an attempt to brush away his tears.
Her fingers made of light faded across his tear ridden face.
The pixels made no contact with his skin.
They both stood there, smiling, staring into each others eyes.
Seconds turned into minutes, which turned into hours.
As they sat together laughing at a inconsequential event, they both knew it was time.
His hand hovered near her projection, her hand hovered near his.
They closed their eyes and imagined a world in which distance did not matter.
With a hiss the machine came to a halt.
The room was silent.
Darkness once more filled the void.
The man got up and walked towards his bed.
He sat on the edge, and began to wait.
And He said
I am a mathematician,
I find beauty in chaos,
And you girl,
You are beautiful
A mathematician who could
Quirky sense of humor
And knew that she was
really just a loser
Loved her anyways
Blessed by love,
Cursed by basic geography
She told him of her fears,
And he told her not to worry,
He’d always be by her side
And he said
I love your broken Spanish
I love your heartfelt poetry
I love your ocean eyes
He brought her
And put up with her
He was smart,
Good at everything she wasn’t
They found peace in each other.
He could find the solution
to any problem,
But she could write pages upon pages
of beautiful poetry
His intellect was beyond compare,
Until it came to her.
She looked at him,
And her ocean blue eye
Were met with the
depth of the earth in his and
He filled every crack
in her faulty brain
How long will it take, for you to reach?
To see your face that makes me smile,
Have the kiss, I longing for so much,
Would be my love is enough to cover the mile,
Even though you’re not, here in my side,
Let the God be our light and guide,
When you are here, I can find the happiness,
But when you’re gone, I felt the lost in my loneliness,
Having the trust and faith to be one again,
Keeping your smile in my mind is the only thing, I may do,
For your laughter are drops of rain,
Giving me comfort and unwavering hope that will not due,
I will cross the rivers, oceans and seas,
Using a pair of wings made of my finest love for you to see,
May the wind help, to lift us as we hold together,
Carry to the place, reserve for the two of us forever,
Though the time force you to depart,
I believe that one day, you and I will never be apart.
1. let him enchant you
you’ll think you’re above this, you’ll think you’re the one with him wrapped around your finger; meanwhile, you don’t notice your own body knotting -
2. let him in
let him know you. let him know your day, your thoughts, bits of your heart. share music, share opinions, laughter. let him find you interesting, funny, witty, whatever else. let him find you something that matters.
3. be vulnerable
this part is hard for you. you’re normally so grounded. but tell yourself it’s okay; he’s the smart, beautiful boy with the kind eyes and he’d never hurt you. you know this latter part to be absolutely true. tell yourself that, even you, the eternal pessimist, deserves to be optimistic about perhaps just this one thing. for once be tender to yourself. trust the sky won’t fall.
4. get comfortable.
this step is absolutely essential in the process. crave his touch, smile into his kisses because you’re just so damn happy, wow!, sleep sound beside him and know you can tell him anything; your thoughts are never unacceptable. plan ahead because there's no reason not to. don’t realise that gut feelings of longevity don’t necessarily go both ways.
5. be blindsided
the day comes when he decides to break your heart, and you’re busy planning what to make him for breakfast. have the wind knocked out of you, and the tears, too. he’s crying as well, and he knows you didn’t see this coming, didn’t think he’d be the one having to do this. he says all of the nice things about you, tries to be chivalrous; says he’ll miss you. it’s strange that as the two of you fall apart, you’re thinking about how well you fit together. it feels like a waste to throw away something that’s barely begun, but if he says it’s not right you can’t argue. maybe it is just the distance, maybe it would have worked out otherwise, or maybe not. regardless, you’re left with the feeling of something gorgeous - some piece of art - left unfinished. you can’t even get angry because you know he didn’t want to hurt you. you’re soft for him, and now you’re pulp, floored and wondering why you can’t stop forgiving the boy who put you there.
nice boys break hearts the worst because they do it with kindness, with good intentions peppered with apologies and well-meaning and ‘I wish it could have worked out, you know’, ‘it’s not that I don’t care’. they always think you deserve better, but don’t realise they’re it. now you have to navigate a world in which the confluence of your bodies doesn’t exist anymore, in which the poetry of romantics isn’t for you any longer.
Must hold on,
Closer, until, meld ontop of-
Body against, heat of body,
Holding on, to someone,
Someone I love - like a ladybug,
Like a lizard, so cold, just want,
Body heat. Just need reptilian comfort,
Drunk, cuddled, human to human,
Hold me. One sec more. One more minute-
Such strong arms-
Wrap around me, I drape across you
You don't mind? Do you?
Only us, no other, no one else in all
In all the city, the country, provence, world
Just us. So just. Please
Remember it was just us, once.
And you, you couldn't tear yourself away from me and I
I tried to slip away but now I
I can't move away for all the
Motivation in the world
Let me be a lizard
Let me be dependant upon your warmth
We were young, and in love
But the dark times crept in on us
And distance and work and stress grew long, gleaming teeth
And your despair swallowed me
That spark which kept us burning,
Still glows dim in your smile and in the tears gathered in
Your eyes and when I saw you last, as you held me tight,
I begged for an actual goodbye
But I never wanted a goodbye from you
I wanted to reignite a raging inferno
To bring our hearts home
For your love kept me warm and I never
Understood why you felt like going.
So here's to your stubborn "see you later"
When "we will see each other again", provided you weren't lying
Through your pain and my grief,
I'll bring a lighter, a match, a chance
My dear, that hope is the smallest, purest thing we ever had.
And my heart keeps it going, my fingers cradle the fire, burning
Burning my skin just to keep a door open to let you in-
No matter how much salt water I pour on the embers
This labyrinthine love is the cruelest, most precious thing.
for me to wish never existed.
I don't ever want you to leave
I can't imagine life without you
Where I am and who I am
Every tear I shed for you
My love is overflowing
And nothing can intercept us
Or break us
We are unstoppable if you
Would take my hand and trust my heart and soul
To keep you safe within them
With tired eyes I look beside me and you aren't there
I crave to see your warm blue eyes looking into mine
Don't worry dear I am trying
I am gonna make it happen
I am gonna try my hardest
Fall and get up
Climb the highest of mountains
And push against the current
There is no border between us just lots of roads
Rarely do we hold each other but when we do I know
That my heart hurts for you but it loves you so
My heart skips and races , it slows and it flutters , with every look, with every touch , the soothing sounds you make and when our lips meet
You are my sun and my stars you are a universe
I love you and it only gets stronger
It's okay if you cry and it's alright if you feel like a gray sky
Cause it is just a feeling love and the truth is that you are not
You are a vast and beautiful sky , pink and blue and firey Orange
Full of something more
More than you can ever imagine
And as the day darkens and we run through the sand
I just wanna keep feeling your hand
Promise that you will never fade
You are the light that guides me to a safe place
And that place is your arms
Lead me into your arms
Never let me go and
We can heal each others scars
Kiss me again and again as we grow old
I'll kiss you again and again through warm summers and the cold
I love you
You are not a burden
You are a galaxy
That I forever want to explore
Let me tell you about Puerto Vallarta.
How cool air comes in over the ocean,
and how even in the rain the boardwalk
is beautiful and serene.
Let me tell you about sipping a sangria
in old town and the bouncing bridge
and the old fountain in the square.
Let me tell you about the new club
they opened in the basement across the street
and the top floor suite where I lay
with a man for the first time.
Let me tell you about Mexico.
The way the poolside music wakes me at 11
Let me tell you about El Panorama,
watching fireworks from the pirate ship below
Lighting up the bay as I dig into the
best steak, best views, best service
Let me tell you about Quimixto, Las Caletas
Days spent dancing on boats, and scuba diving
The same waters we fish and surf on
One with nature and the city
Man, I miss this and Gerry,
Four years to the day we met I'll be there
Telling the ocean about you, just for one day.
But you may never see these things you missed,
Your bare feet are no longer welcome upon the sand
Let me tell you....
Let me tell you of
Taking my two best girlfriends there,
From the market to the marina,
And the flowers the men would give us-
And in another week that'll be me again,
Older but still free, soaking up the sun,
Flirting and dancing and swimming
Just my 23rd year down in PV,
And my story goes on