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Aaron 4d
they said
"you'd be jealous"
they lost 42 pounds
in only four months
quickly doing the math
that's 10.5 pounds per month
2.625 pounds per week
i laughed a bit
realizing their monthly rate
was how much i had lost
within only two weeks
then i asked myself
"why would i be jealous
when i can be better
and lose that 42 pounds
in half the time took them?"
Look at yourself

Squeeze any fat you have

A pinch

A handful

How much is too much?

What really is fat or skinny?

Victoria's Secret "Love My Body" campaign shows seven svelte models while Dove's "Real Beauty campaign features an array of 'Real Women' with curves in all the right places 

Both campaigns exclude most body types and show major problems with society

One shows plus sized is okay is only okay if you're plus in the right places

The other proves skinny is king

These are the standards we set for little ones to abide by

With a small bust plus wasn't an option

So I turned skeletons into goddesses 

Prayed the would teach me how not to need

Worshiped hipbones over pizza

A tiny waist over lunch

Anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any mental illness

Yet todays media forms computers in the minds of children to count calories as thought food were merely numbers

I learned how to purge from a pro Ana website when I was nine

Stuck a toothbrush down my throat and forced up dinner

Turned to laxatives at 12

Learned ill was okay if skinny was the side effect

Today I look at myself

Squeeze any fat I have

A handful

A pinch

How much is too much
Eleanor 7d
karen carpenter died of anorexia complications. I'd actually be dead right now if no one was stopping me, I literally have a disease that is trying to **** me. Like I'd just decide to not eat, that's like someone refusing to drink water, that they need, to live, so they just ******* die. How weak am I? Even with no intention of actually dying, my mom sits in the rocking seat in my room, making sure I eat my dinner, because I already hid my "first" dinner in an empty tea bottle and hid it in a purse in my closet. She's used to it now. Enough treatment at the Emily Program to know, know that I didn't eat. She's so worried she had to start taking anti-anxiety meds because she can't sleep. Sounds tragic, but you learn to live with it, and after awhile it doesn't seem that bad or different anymore. Everything we don't know scares us, but we've been here before, we own nothing and everything and we've been here before. No matter cannot be created or destroyed...that's all I'm saying. Maybe if my parents raised me in religion, I wouldn't be so scared of death and knowing nothing comes out of life. Charlie Brown christmas is playing. Life is beautiful, I have a safe space in my room. Charlie Brown Christmas reminds my dad of his childhood, and his loving, restrictive, purging, depressed, anxious mom dying. First Christmas without Grandma. My other Grandma is sick, and oh, my, this is going to be hard. Imagine my mom's grief. Sometimes my stomach is so empty, my heart feels weak, and my lungs shallow breathing, it feels like I could pass out. I need to get to sleep. Goodnight.
Come back to the laguna and visit my fairy punk girl sluty mind again tomorrow! We are serving tea, but not the kind that's mean. Only good stuff, funny stuff. That's good.
A 7d
I constantly

Grapple with the notion

That i want to be so small

                                    My bones seem to be

      Their own showcase


       At the same time

       I know my heart can handle that

And i can only shrink so much




mc ish 7d
i will not shrink myself down
i do not come in pocket sized
i am more than your heart desires
yet a  glass has never complained to overflow
i am everything or nothing
and to you
something in between
i am loud and i am violent and i am volatile
reaching for the stars that dissolve in my fingers
heaven has never felt so far
slim down diets are so in
reach your love to fit like chickpeas in your heartless ides
a growling stomach makes a pretty girl
i am pretty much a girl?
Belle Dec 6
i dont know what to do
at this point
i feel nothing
i keep running around in circles
trying to figure it out
but i see the end of this rotary
thousands of miles away
and im so tired
so i cannot reach it
Sara Dec 3
no one notices
it’s a blessing and a curse i suppose
i’m glad that no one’s trying to stop me
but i wish that someone cared enough to try
i wish someone would notice
but that would ruin everything we’ve worked for
i’m wasting away to nothing
and even so
no one notices
this just means i have to try harder, right?
at least, that’s what ana tells me
so we go from 800 to 600 to 400
and we work so hard
but still
no one notices
ana’s all i can think about
and she tells me
“just a little more”
“people will start to care when they need to”
“you’re just not sick enough”
sometimes, in my darkest hours, i voice these thoughts aloud
and even after all of that
no one notices
Sara Dec 3
i sit across from you
as if at a dinner party
but I think we both know that’s exactly the reason that i’m here now
you lure me in
whispering promises and secrets
“it’ll be just between us” you say to me
“after this, you’ll be beautiful”
i believe you
i start to give in, lean forward, close my eyes
stop it.
they’re lies!
tears are streaming down my face now
i fall back with a whimper
you’re turning mean now
“you’ll never be pretty if you keep at this”
“you’re not worthy”
i’m shaking i’m sobbing i’m scared
i thought i was the one in control
i thought i had the power
but now you’ve stripped me of that and everything else i once was
i have nothing left now except for you
you, my porcelain savior
Lexi Fields Dec 3
Mirror mirror on the wall
Who’s the thinnest of them all

Is it the angels
With their body perfect from all angles
Is it the girls I see
With their frames so petite

Mirror mirror on the wall
Please me pretty as them all

Thigh gap so wide
They all cry with envy and broken pride
A stomach so small
People will ask if I eat at all

Mirror mirror on the wall
Why can I not stand at all

My body
It isn’t working on its own
But I can
Still see my bones

Mirror mirror on the wall
I am the thinnest of them all

I want
To be the thinnest girl found
I’m sitting
at 88 pounds

Mirror mirror on the wall
My heart stopped beating last fall

Laying in a casket
All I will say is
Being the thinnest
Is not worth it
Jazlynne Rose Nov 30
Her body is merely an obstacle
A barrier between happiness and reality
She challenges herself to get closer -
and closer
To the bones that hold her together
Reduced to her ivory frame until her foundation becomes unreliable
Unworthy of the beauty she deserves
She is golden, and her hair is glass
Nothing more than an ornament to be adored
She is hungry for nothing but perfection
To be a thread; bones and beauty twisted into one
Filling her insides with the water she will end in
Finished, she is nothing more than what she has become
Not full or whole
In pieces, taped together after tearing herself apart
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