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I talked to them yesterday,
I told them my feelings, giving my brightest smile,
They gave me one too, but one of pity,
I'm not the one they want.

I was happy yesterday,
They said yes to my feelings,
smiling at the possibilities,
It only lasted two hours before regret,
The 'almost' coming to an end.

I was messaged last evening,
A paragraph on my social media,
I thought it was to talk about the day,
But it wasn't in the way I expected.

They went back on their words,
Told me sorry they don't have the time,
I said I was relieved and that "I'll be fine!"
But all I wanted to do was scream for the 'almost'.

I almost had it,
The feeling of being enough to someone,
I wanted to feel that about myself,
But I wanted help doing so,
I cannot blame them for not feeling for me,
It's their feelings not mine,
But I wish they never thought me fragile,
As it exposes what I've hidden in time.

I will forget them inevitably,
After all I always do,
Suppressing feelings and memories,
But I can't help but think of almost,
And the 'almost' that was almost there.

And here I am in my bed,
Still waiting for that almost to be had.
I did it again...
A poem everyday.
Lot Mar 4
Red and white vivid
The colours swirl together
Down the kitchen drain
I have a dilemma in heart and mind
My brain to me is so unkind
Do I suppress my evil thoughts
With a measly prescription, store bought?
I’m staying strong for him
But some days depression wins
And my anger bubbles up
So instead I wash it down with a cup
Of water and a little nauseating pill
It’s blue and powerful, it often makes me ill
I worry to start again
Because I could barely stop back then
It’s not worth the toll
So I flush them down the toilet bowl
Mar Dec 2018
I have a lot of problems
That seem to get pushed aside
Because I’m “smart enough”
Or I’m “able to go through this”
I’m tired of being told I can do it
I’m tired of being told
The
Same
Old
Three
Words
Because quite frankly,
I don’t think that it’ll be okay
My feelings are raging,
And one expects to quell them using
Platitudes
That mean absolutely nothing to me
I just want someone to resonate with me.
I just want someone that resonates with me.
JB Dec 2018
I don't blame you
Nor me
Just the situation
I'm not angry
I'm not hurt
I am mad
But at peace
I understand
That it was my mistake
To allow myself
To listen to you
JB Dec 2018
****

Am I in love with him
Do I love him?
Is this what love feels like?
Or
Felt like...

Did I mess it up?
I think I did

******
I let him go. ****.
a M b 3 R Sep 2018
i am just the worst person you could have met
one moment im kind to you
another i talk behind your back
lie to you
be mean to you
im fake
and i know that
yet u don’t
your kind innocent pure soul
YOU think that i am..well good at least
and i don’t want to make you feel upset
but i did eventually
you should start realising that i am bad
i am no good
and you should not talk to me
even if i treated you like the worst
you still continued talking to me
i am the worst
please you don’t deserve to be treated like that
by me.
Dara Slick Jul 2018
You told me you cared.
You picked me from the street, me,
just a daisy in the road.
I trust you to re-plant me on the side walk, or in a garden.
You set me down all nice and dainty,
and left.

I assumed i'd see you again when you needed to walk past, but you came back for only one thing.
You sprayed me with **** killer.
You saw I was a flower,
moved me,
then tried to **** me.

Little did you know, I was immune.
He may have been a bit more heartless than expected, I am okay now though.
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