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acacia Aug 10
[ADAGIO]
The driest to evolve from the chambers of The Monads,
echoing from caves, mountains, and hills you roll amongst them all
in a stone pelted armor, cladded you are.
I drop from the depths of the blue sense, blue matter;
you wrinkle our bed sheets, pull them off the mattress with your toes,
I don't ever care, but I mourn when I feel like I am detached from your shine.
Your rays hit every inch of this House; it also hits
[STACCATO]
the 12th, the 3rd, the 4th, the 10th, and the 11th (even the 1st).
You ring my doorbell, you greet me with a smile:
you always have a grand jury under you.
Kingly Royal Star, I'd never share you: but in order to love you, I must share you, the Sun, you:
on days I don't want to visit Earth, I will continue to cool off by the river where I pour souls from my vase;
soon after a long day of light you come back to me. Uranus and Saturn reel you in as we now cool you off, the next twilight hours are the most important, for this is where you reign and fuel your ego-in-constant-development.
You say I am too cold, well, I say you are too warm.
I lust for you.
I love you so much that Venus could never know, Venus could never understand.
(The bed won’t break. I’m young, you’re old, we know; [GLISSANDE] the world, it’ll fade away. Doesn’t mean we will not stay.)
Mercury swings by me when I am lonely because I never know the difference between needing a friend and needing a lover. I give you all the same straws and you bow down to me, somehow:
to the smokey fog she drew, he cleared (it) so you wouldn’t drown: sea-foam rising in me.
[GLISSANDE]
O, King, you hold God in your palm; this is you, this is. O, Monad, I pray to you, I pray for you, for you are fast tracking near me.
I am stuck where I am, floating in your mass: Daylight, come back, twinkling Daylight.
[CRESCENDO]
Father of the Skies, you baffle me; amaze me with your ways, and show me how to be.
I feel the bar tip and it is going down, it flies all the way into Pluto’s claw.
Daylight God, you, O, Soul Beam, lead us all in the way of eternal life: show me how to create and express my nature, and I will show you how to refine and idealize your godliness.
You are my hyleg, You are my alcocoden, You are me.
I breathe in Your heat; I take refuge here in your pit with stomach-acid rain, with lava-purge *****. I roll to the nearest grass, I pluck the clovers from outside the widest lawns. I pluck them from fields, I pluck them from cracks.
Clover is my name, and with your rays I delight in sin. You hold me over raging flames, rotate me like a pig. Gods of small and big laugh and clap, you determine me like The One who cries of no pain.

[ENTR’ACTE/DIMINUENDO]
Do you see what I see? Can you see these things?
Sun, you’re sitting with me by the river as I pour souls into this mix of yeast, wine, and gold—yes, all for you.
We share the throne of Chyle, and we whisk the whisk of Minm.
My sobering Prince, look in the waters, King, yes. Do you see you, Monad? Do you see the pretty I see?
I see the browning leaves wrestling with your hair, I see your dark spewing blood-eyes, I see your crater-deep dimples, I see the yarn stitched in for lashes: the most handsome I will ever see, if not, I will never see again. The tannest hand and the pinkest smile: you always come back home, and we sleep for nights and days during the Winter; you never burn the bed away, never during any Seasons.
I wanted to end this, but I can’t right now: I must continue to write [CADENZA] and tell you how you look like shimmers in the sea, like sparkles floating on top of green firth, like the lone fenny seaweed drifting amongst Adam’s ale; you are the small pockets of air clumped together in spindrift froth.
You are the eminent boat and the rowing-downwards motion, the flares of light reflecting off the great sea, the stiffest peaks in the sea-mountains.
You are the coldest gulp of air, the hottest gamma to ray, the darkest vignette to withhold in, the light peering through the treetops; you are zesty and buoyant like waves of heat traveling upwards in the distance; you are the tallest beam to hold God’s (which is You, my Monad) Heaven in place.
I want you on my lips, I want you on my tongue.
I make a small flower-pod bloom, and I do it thinking of you, my Master.
[GLISSANDE]
Father of the Shine / you perpetuate all light / you rule everything that is bright / you own everything (one) in sight / you make me smile / you bring my pain / you are the hero I need in any way / you are gold and we stay / I make you cry / I make you laugh / I am the huddles / I am the strongest waves (I am the wind) / [PIU DOLCE] let me take you away.

*[SMALL NOTE]
I must continue to fuel you, give you your fire for the days to burn everything away;
without my air you have no fuel, but too much and I choke you: it’s the Heavens way.
[SMALL NOTE]
*I must continue to fuel you, give you your fire for the days to burn everything away;
without my air you have no fuel, but too much and I choke you: it’s the Heavens way.

Do you believe that love is a continuous stream?
ren Mar 17
beady eyes
intent on watching my every move,
continuously following me
as i pace around the room
and it is dark,
for i cannot see
but i know these beady eyes are staring at me.
Adrian Sep 2018
⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜⇝
.Sir murmurs feverish death
spells,
                   Bewitched hysteria enchanted elven
           ears,
                   Violin strings of stuttering velvet
echo,
                         vacuity beguile cracked
telescopes,
                             Sir’s feigned ruby lips
lament.
  ⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜⇝
  ⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜⇝
.Draperies comb the purple
hare,
Riveted coats sneeze in the
pallor,
                            Stabilizing the drunken
absences,
Late violets exhale in
tedium.
    ⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜⇝
    ⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜⇝
      .Sir views tree sagging in dirt
coffins,
                     In fabricated
tranquility,
                With pleasant booming
hums.
     ⇜⇝⇜⇝
     ⇜⇝⇜⇝
.Sirs deteriorating dense
chasms,
                    Encounter convenient
disorientation.
⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜
⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜
.Spotted desolate greenery a hafted ax of
demise.
⇜⇝⇜⇝
natalia reese Jun 2018
you meet someone on accident,
wether they were in your freshman year calc class, or you ran into them at the grocery store
something about them draws you in
maybe it's their radiating smile, or their intoxicating eyes
they find a way to make your lips curve up in the happiest way
you start talking to them
this person makes you laugh,
they make you smile for the first time in a while
they start to become special to you
your interactions start increasing until you two are closer than ever
you have told them things you thought you'd never be able to admit
your long talks take hundreds of pounds off your shoulders
you don't feel trapped anymore
happiness can't help but flow through your veins
but after you've hit this peak, things will start to change
you won't talk as much anymore
your laugh will start to become weaker
that smile won't be as bright
their radiating eyes lose that certain effect on you
your talks become shorter and less meaningful
soon enough you will talk for the last time, but you won't realize it at the time
one day you will part like you usually do,
but that will be the last time
your calls will become vague, until they are nonexistent
you won't talk anymore
you won't effect each other anymore
and you won't think about each other anymore
you go back to your daily lives,
until you find someone new
and even then, the cycle continues.
Aa Harvey Apr 2018
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My mouth has stopped speaking,
My eyes have stopped seeing.
My words are no longer written…
I have no imagination for dreaming.


No feeling for screaming,
No passion to believe in,
No happiness for me;
Only misery.


I have nothing left beneath my rib cage.
Forever trapped in all ways,
In a million mile maze;
No way to relate to the lives people play.


Lost in all ways to your nation of islands;
All stand united, I make no demand.
Ask for no place to barter, life is a non-starter;
Never seen a wedding garter in these days of haze.


Left dazed and confused, with nothing to soothe,
The constant blues, who knew?
Not me, I never did. Did you?
My empathy?  You can keep it!
My apathy lacks all my cares.
Don’t ask me where they are; I am stood at the bottom of stairs
And the first step is too far; I stare into stars,
Looking for a future, but no luck so far.


Let my coffin be gift wrapped, I will not cause a fuss.
Just lay down to rest;
Robot ready to rust and dust is all that will remain;
Because even when I go I will still hold on,
To every searing scar of my pain.


The pain is all I am left with and all I know.
No encore to this show, please, I cannot repeat myself anymore.
I have said enough.
Close the door.


Remove the good vibrations, silence the dawn chorus.
People were sent here only to test us!
Act 1 – I lived.
Forget Act 2.  
Think only of you, like all others do
And when I am run through in this queue,
Where we are all waiting to die,
When ****!  My!  Life!  
Is in the hands of a non-believer;
The fingers no nearer to touching a soul.  
Why am I growing so old?
Why am I always so cold,
To everything they think and say,
For they cannot think, without saying it.



Pins and needles, my nerves are talking,
The timer is ticking and it does not bring anything.
All will soon be gone from this basket-case of mine.
Life is a swine, soak it in wine,
Right on time for the next nasty surprise.
I sigh, I sign my name, my life and oh the days I will never forget.
I have tried…
To forget;
But no luck yet.
No thought for regret.
Contemplate…
Wait…


I have never seen a happy day, 24-seven-straight.
A constant pain, happiness never even looked my way.
Always broken like biscuits at the bottom of the barrel.
Quickly kissed, forgotten even quicker; I hate Christmas Carols
And New Year celebrations because they are all the same.
Each and every year is another year of pain.


I am a faded picture on a damaged milk carton,
Never going to get a heart won,
Because a loser only loses love
And I am lost in a life that is a cartoon.
Drop an anvil on my head so I can see the stars…
And the end.
Love is the pin to my balloon.


(C)2018 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Äŧül Jan 2017
My heart retired a jockey,
A disc jockey,
Composing and singing songs.

Now I am so much tired,
It is so tired,
Of all the heartbreaks they gave.
My HP Poem #1367
©Atul Kaushal
Simran Nov 2015
Ma
I carry my mother’s words like a prayer
I memorise them like a mantra
Because when people don’t speak words do
her Words are thicker than water
Makenzie Marie Oct 2014
The truth about my recovery?
I lied
I told the truth
I was better.
So much better
a different person
truly, really,
not the me that was dying to die a year previous.
for six years the monsters consumed me
It starts so subtle.
She’s skinnier.
‘No I’m on a diet’
‘I’m a size 0’
your best friend skips lunches.
slowly, surely, the monster slips into your head.
your nightmares are living
compulsions start.
too young.
don’t eat in front of people.
one granola bar will get you through practice until home.
and all the comments egging you on.
‘you aren’t skinny enough for that..’
‘but if you eat salad all summer’
Soon you can’t look at yourself.
Soon the Monster of self hatred turns you to more
because the diets aren’t enough
so spring break after a bowl of corn chips
you close the bathroom door
and the porcelain becomes your ally.
friends may know.
but you can be sneaky.
after all, how else would you manage your size?
Eventually it isn’t enough, you want quicker results.
And the monsters of self hatred are eating you up.
you’ve grown now of course.
pushed away friends who knew who wanted you to get help.
Because this Monster, This darkness in your mind,
your only friend.
No more food.
leave crumbs and a buttered kife.
anything eaten, behind the bathroom door.
And very soon
The blades come out to play.
So intriguing how easy it is.
and how simple to hide.
What an easy release.
17 and 110 lbs, covered in scars on her hips.
I did get help.
I went to therapy.
I loved it.
I didn’t just change these acts
I changed myself.
But I wasn’t better, I was anxious
to be done with it
to be set free.
So I stopped going.
when I wasn't totally ready.
I thought I was happy..
But is that why I relapsed?
It was only once.
But is that why I still find myself depressed?
Sometimes suicidal?
Is it my fault?
It’s usually my fault so I can see how it would be.
I lied.
That’s the truth.
And
I
Don’t
Know.

But I do know
this recovery is a continuous fight.
And I just wonder
Where am I now?
Trinity Jones Jul 2014
Sometimes
I feel like a terrible person
I've fallen into this kind of pattern
I can't seem to shake
I'm not quite sure
From where I've picked it up
But
I think -- I'm pretty sure
I'd rather be without it
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