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nights feel like years
when your heart lies awake
trying to grasp the last moment
when it felt at peace with you
i wish you were here to hold me
for so long, i have been watering my own petals
aiding in my own growth
soaking my roots with positivity and love
growing to my fullest potential

and then you came along
and i thought you would continue to help me grow
but you put me into a drought
leaving me thirsty and gasping for air

now because of you
my petals are wilting away
from your harsh abandonment and apathy
and my soul will now rot
because of this terrible lonely drought
hindering my growth
and leaving me utterly and completely helpless and alone
how can i grow when you are pulling me back
Stay sad Jan 24
I'm scared.
I've never vallen from quite this high.
Can somebody help?
Help everyone but me.
Because i'm afraid.
And my fear turns me into a terrible.
I'm afraid of the people,
And the fears,
And the lives,
And the world around me.
Just like how they are.
No fair,
You really know how to make me cry.
Again,
I am trapped.
Trapped inside your silver mind,
And those golden eyes.
And we're back again.
Drinks will mess you up pretty bad.
Make you wish you never had.
So stop and think,
Before you drink.
Save it for another day.
Don't waste your life away.
Have a bottle,
Hold it tight,
Just take a sip or two at night.
Save to six pack,
For someone with no kids,
Make them wish they never did.
Just thought about this while watching my favorite show "Riverdale" for some reason.
I'm worthless.
Everyone hates me.
No one cares about me.
I only make things worse.
I am bad at everything I do.
Everyone thinks I am terrible.
These things are not true at all.
I'm not a worthless person at all.
There are lots of people care for me.
I have helped so many people over time.
I can do many things well and I like them.
A lot of people don't think that I am terrible.
These things I tell myself are lies and are wrong.
I must not really have real problems if these are lies.
I'd trust myself more often if I didn't tell myself these things.
Samuel Louis Nov 2018
Sometimes as a poet
It is easier to write
And relate to the things that hurt

Because the heart knows
What it means
To feel -- beautifully terrible
thoughts?
lovelywildflower Oct 2018
how are you?
good
no
i'm not good
i'm terrible
but i can't say that, can i?
so i guess i'll just say i'm okay
Amy Duckworth Sep 2018
Sad people
Always try and make
other people happy
because
they
know
how
terrible
it is
to feel
worthless
Lim Peh Sep 2018
"They make a dollar.
While I make a dime.
That's why I always ****,
On company time."

Why do you waste your life
Making dimes and quarters
When you can spend your mind and time
To go make some dollars
Nomkhumbulwa Sep 2018
Who am I?

This is how it feels,
Total solitude;
I dont know who I am,
My body wants no food.

What have I done?
I must have done something;
Everyone and everything gone,
I must have done something.

Something terrible, something wrong,
For why would I be so alone?
It seems like so long,
Since I have felt “at home”.

I dont know where home is,
Where do I belong?
Home is where the heart is,
What did I do wrong?

I have let people down,
And not just one or two,
I have let people down
Here and in the South Atlantic too.

How can there be so many,
And now no one?
The fog seems very thick,
Everyone has gone.

How can you belong
When you dont fit in?
How can you forgive,
When you know not what you’re forgiving?

Was it me or was it them?
Now we shall never know;
I never meant to harm them,
I did no wrong....but even so...

When they are so many,
And your memories not so clear,
How can you even trust yourself?
With a mind filled with fear?

I know them,
Do they know me?
How can it be possible
That they cannot see?

I must have done wrong,
I must have deserved this;
There can be no other reason,
I must have deserved this.

I feel evil and cruel,
Never meant anyone harm,
But it seems I must have done,
Ive caused so much alarm.

How do I trust my memories
If there is nobody left?
Why dont I know what is real?
How can there be no one left?

My earlier writing met silence,
I heard from not a single one;
It seems no one wants to know,
I feel they blame me for what I “have done”

If it was my fault afterall,
How do I ever put things right?
Is he dead because of me?
A dead man cannot fight.

Nothing makes any sense,
What is right or wrong,
Just a mass of confusion
About where I “should belong”

Are the things in my head real?
Can they be trusted?
Or have I caused so many lives
To be completely shattered?

There were people on my side,
Yes, only a few;
But now where have they gone?
I wish somebody knew.

I am tired and confused,
I dont know if I was abused,
How can I ever know for sure?
When im so confused.

The world is no longer real,
I dont know who I am;
How can anyone heal?
If I dont know who I am?

The world now scares me a lot,
I dont want it to see me;
Im hiding in this “internal place”
Yet at the same time wanting to flee.

Everything is disturbing,
Nothing is how it was;
I want to hide from everyone,
And I have no answers.

But I am being called,
And the calling is so strong;
There are people I DO trust,
A place where we are...”at one”.

Some may think im mad,
But for me I have to go;
I left my soul in Africa,
I left it in Soweto.

I have to go back and find it,
To find myself as well;
And perhaps bring it back this time..
Only time will tell...

Its going to be a mission,
Im taking gifts for many;
The postal system’s ****,
But the people are worth every penny.

Please Mandela let my brain function,
So I can help those who need me;
As all the time i’ve spent with them....
....i’ve never felt so free.

UNkulunkulu akubusise Soweto ❤️
A poem I forgot I had written some time back  I think its fairly along the lines of my others :(
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