this electricity clenching my bones,
these fireworks filling my head,
these jumping bunnies in my feet,
this excitement,
this enthusiasm,
it's filling every inch of my body and soul.
I’m searching for an answer.
Surrounded by monogamists I crawl and weep,
Surrounded by dogmatists I hunger.
I’m searching for a key to unlock the doors of profanity.
I don’t want to hear something about the seasons,
Or anything about ethics.
No more flowers,
Away with the aesthetic of yore.
Give me the affairs, the filth, secret lives.
Give me the runaways, the elderly, the jokesters.
Give me the casanovas and cougars.
I search this rotten boulevard and t
All night, all night, even during the day..
I’m on the search..
I’m looking for a key to unlock the doors of profanity.
Brent Feb 7
Trembling hands
             against circular grip.

Pieces of road
             reveal and disappear.
Pools of light
             raked with speed.

My jacket lifts with
             each heart beat.
Her invitation rattles
             in my skull.

Blood flows
body tingles.

Our bodies will soon
             be together.
han Feb 1
my mind cannot compute or calculate
its next move with you
but I don’t want it to
I want to live in suspension
for a moment
before gravity brings me
back down to earth
and reality
January 31st~han
Tilde Jan 23
She fizzles in the drops
He's sparks, he's fire and flame

She rekindles bit by bit
And he's delightfully to blame.
As I listen to SZAs Garden
Her melodic voice sending chills down my spine
I rush to the phone
It's crazy how a person can change your entire vibration
Pops asked me, why you so smitten
I feel like an adopted kitten
Soooo much affection
Thinking of him makes me happy
Within seconds he can change my mood
Pulsations in my chest aren't even the same
As the beat of my heart speeds up and slows down
I'm always overwhelmed, lost in thought
I want him to liiikkkkeee me so I'm nervous but I know he does so I'm filled with an overwhelming calm
He exciiiiitttteeesss me!
Have you ever wanted to suck dick in a DJ booth?
Me either buuut that knee ain't bad if he ask
It's just a bliss, a new experience
One that I can probably live in forever
I always say thank you thank you
Because you always stay grateful and always stay gracious
These are things your man is supposed to do?
Never had it til I met you
Soo Courteous Soo kind And Way too damn fineee
I most definitely have to claim what's mine
But that's in due time
At the moment We Can Just Vibe
Just letting you know you're on my mind ...
Poem 1 in Muffin Collection
I'm going to marry
the love of my life and I
cannot stop smiling

Well my count down begins till July I'm so happy I cannot stop smiling and I'm going to make sure I embrace this excitement and enjoy every moment xxxxx
Madolyn Jan 17
I can feel it
can you feel it too?
the possibility fills my mind
I'm not quite certain
it hasn't happened yet
but I've done the impossible
I can do it again
the excitement in my head
it's squeezing my heart
I don't think I'll properly breathe until this is over
daydreaming, fantasies
put in my head three years ago
who knew such a throwaway suggestion
would capture my mind?
eagerly awaiting an email with rocks in my stomach
I really hope this works
I've mostly floated through my life
but now
I want to take charge
possibilities make me reckless
when I'm usually so cautious
but right now I think it's alright
because for once
I'm excited
I might be able to pull it out
Meg B Jan 12
Sometimes I think he’s too good for me
He’s too kind
And there are all these words
That come out of my mouth like
Because I’ve been alone so long and
Don’t know how to just let him be nice to me.
I am controlling,
But he’d insist I’m fiercely independent.
I am difficult,
But he’d tell me to never change.
The day after we had met,
He had said just that,
Yet I am constantly wanting to do the opposite.
I’ve spent so many years blaming myself for my own abandonment
That this all seems like a strange but beautiful dream.
Even so, somehow,
with just two words in the quiet of the morning,
He makes me feel like everything

“Hey, beautiful.”
Jack Mandala Jan 5
Do any of you feel like you can't rely on anyone but yourself? My whole life has felt like that but tonight it's really hitting me.

It all started a few weeks ago when I asked this girl I liked to formal. It was quite a stretch considering the social boundaries that were already in place. I'm a senior and she is a junior and I had no connections to any of her volleyball friends. It may not seem like it but some girls need to feel like you are socially "accepted," and I was socially unknown.

When I asked her, she seemed really excited which made sense due to the energy and good vibes she would bring to conversations despite her extreme shyness (I seemed to do most of the talking). Then formal came around. Before we went to the dance, there was a pre-formal get-together at her friends house. We were there for about three hours before we left for the dance and it was a great opportunity for me to meet her friends and her social group. I made my date laugh many times and I truly felt like there was a deep emotional connection between us. I conveyed confidence and a sense of humor, but it was clear I was the odd man out.

As I'm driving her to the dance, we started talking and again and she gave off off many signs that she was into me. I'm usually pretty good at looking in to that kind of stuff and I felt something was there. Although when we got to the dance, things start getting pretty shady. We met up with her volleyball friends that were at the formal get-together but it became increasingly obvious at the time my date was either too shy to dance with me or she only wanted to be with her friends. After 30 minutes of awkwardly following her and her friends around without dancing with her, I decided to give her some space and proceeded to hang out with my friends for the majority of the night.

About an hour and a half after I left her, she found where I was and asked if I wanted to go to a party that was happening afterwards with her which led me to believe this was her trying to convey interest in me without putting herself out there. I agreed and we got in my car until about five minutes later when her friends insisted they couldn't go anymore, so she decided she wasn't going to go either (I can confirm that her friends weren't trying to get her out of hanging out with me and there was actually something that prevented them from going). So I dropped her off at her friend's car, still went to that same party, and called it a night.

The next morning I hit her up and told her I had a great night with her even though it was mostly bullshit, but I didn't want her to think I was mad for what actions took place (Ignoring me during the dance and ditching the party). Then Christmas break began and I was out of town for about a week and a half. While I was out of town, I decided the best way to get to know her and her friend group better was to throw a kickback since it became clear they rarely accepted new people into their group. Keep in mind that it's not just me and all of her girlfriends. One of my guy friends who is almost dating my formal date's best friend has gone to all of the events with me (pre-formal, the dance, the afterparty), and he was my only guy friend throughout this whole process.

Finally the day comes, I send them the address and then I get the dreadful question, "Who else is coming?" Side note: people who ask this question can honestly fuck off because pretty much what they're saying is "is there anyone else coming that would make it worth going to?" Anyway, I told my date that it was just going to be my friend Nick (the guy that I mentioned earlier), her, and her other two close friends which she replied "that's it?" with no emojis. I proceeded to tell her yes and that I'm just keeping it small. I was left on open, but still assumed she and her friends were going to come.

I set the kickback to start at 8:00 PM until I get a text from her around 7:45 PM saying that she was sorry but neither her or any of her friends could make it. As for my one guy friend and the friends he was inviting, he said he was going to come but never bothered to actually show up. Fed up and frustrated, I decided to invite all of my friends that were in town to come to my house where we can all get fucked up. After anxiously waiting for an hour and a half, my friends started to show up and at the peak, around 7 people showed up which was actually pretty good considering it was Winter break and most of my friends were out of town. I snapchatted the whole thing and made it look really hype without looking like a tryhard and put it on my story to let the fuckers that ditched me know that I could invite other people right on the spot and they would still manage to come through.

It was a great night and I was glad there were people that I could rely on once in my life, especially since my whole life I never found anyone I could rely on. It made me realize how cliquey high school is and how unwelcoming most people are to letting others join their friend group. No matter how good of an impression you make, certain people will still push you away if you don't meet their social standards. Anyway, I hope all of you guys have a nice rest of your day. Thank you for reading this.
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