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The Vault Apr 2017
I hate myself
I hate how I don't talk
I hate my fake smiles and laughs
I hate the mask of makeup I put on my face
Just to feel a little prettier
I hate how I look
Never skinner enough
No matter what I do
I hate myself
I hate how I have no friends
And how I will stay at home
Cutting my arm into a millions pieces
Just to feel something
I hate how everyone thinks that I am always like that
I hate no one will notice when I cry
I hate myself
I hate my body
I am trapped in and I can't escape
I hate how you don't notice how unhappy I am
And how I want to die
More than anything
But you have never seen me happy.
Not always depressed
With how I think people will think about me.
I hate myself
But I am trying to feel better
But I keep pushing myself down
I hate myself
I hate myself
I hate how you love me
I hate how you love my curves
And love how I snort when I truly laugh
I hate myself
But I will love myself if you will stay.
I hate how much you love me.
I hate myself
The Vault Mar 2017
Just breath in and out
But how do I do that?
Every breath seems to take more air out
Until I am suffocating on nothing at all
Take it one step at a time
But how do I do that?
Every step I take turns into a tumble
And now I am falling to my ultimate doom.
Everything will work out in the end
Or it won't
Maybe I was meant to fall and crash and burn
The minute I was born
Don't worry
But it is only going down hill
A never ending tumble
Until I crash and burn
And breath in the smoke
Until I suffocate
On nothing at all
Kado MacMurphy Feb 2017
i am so ugly, why am i ugly
i am not happening, what is happening,
still so ugly, i am trash
so minnesota, i am abstract
forget my alibi, i am so ugly
**** what im worth, i have these maggots
inside me living, morbidly filthy
deserve to live me, i am so filthy
no one has done me,
no one i am
i have these maggots, here to preserve me
i am not me, i am these maggots,
they represent me, deserve to live in me,
i am so filthy, plz just **** me
forget the feeling, i have no feeling
simple being, i am so ugly,
i feel so ugly, feeling like stealing,
i am stealing, breathless feeling
senseless beating, set fire to me
i am so ugly, so ******* filthy.
SA Morales Feb 2017
Everyday I suffer from self-hate
I never know why I have this fate
Everytime I smile, I feel insecure
I hope there is a cure
Giving up has always been an option
Because it feels like I have no direction
Is living really worthwhile?
You feel awful even when you smile
I used to imagine a future so bright
But now it's just as dark as night
Cutting myself seems predictable
But I always make sure that it isn't visible
Clem Dec 2016
I am not who I think I am—
I never said I was

Sometimes I’m
a monster—
swirling, yellowgreen skin,
bristly coils of
hair sticking

strumlike underneath
your fingertips—

sometimes I’m
a normal guy,
angry and hungry
with greasy-tousled
greasy locks—

or a subaverage
curvy and compassionate,
warm *****
beckoning to all

most often, I’m a
translucent ghost,
too little there
yet not enough gone,
i wrote this before halloween... hence... the title
Kelly Weaver Aug 2016
My impending fear,
With danger near,
Only increased until I began to see myself wondering how he left without shedding a single tear.
And happiness,
My biggest weakness,
Was on a constant downward spiral into something that made even myself wish to digress.
But suddenly,
Fairly abruptly,
I began to understand how his absence brought me a soft feeling of serenity.
My excuses,
Hidden bruises,
I was reluctant to push the blame onto anyone but myself even though I didn't choose this.
People asked me,
Quite literally,
If I was aware that I smiled brighter and laughed louder now that I've had this epiphany.
And finally,
Now I can see,
I allowed myself to be taken for granted just so I wouldn't have to be lonely.
And in the end,
I recommend,
Looking inside yourself and seeing the broken bonds you must mend.
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