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If you open your eyes,
you may see many things
***** toothed smiles at the train station
Ragged clothes and worn shoes
An advert about the 10-year-old kid
who’s now a mother
Soldiers looking happy
in those ‘join the army’ signs
Who are hiding their
trauma and nervousness,
depression and sorrow
behind fake joyful smiles
seriously london....
I looked at my cousins profile today
It was full of happy birthday
Prayers and wishes
Greatness and I love you’s
I miss you’s and please come home
But I can’t help but scream
And cry and pray that he never sees the light of day.
That he rots away behind the only bars that are keeping me safe.
I pray his sentence was life,
But the justice system doesn’t care.
They don’t care my will was pinned down
My voice was kept silent
And a magical experience ripped away.

I looked at his sons profile today.
Drawing and anime all the way.
Updated pictures free will to walk.
Free will to go harm another person who’s lost.
No punishment granted.
And smiles he may
Stealing the smiles he wiped from my face.
He plays little games with cards always winning never losing just like how he won that day.
His Facebook reveals all
No regret in his eyes.
No apologies given
So here I lye

I looked at my rapists profiles today
And the the justice system failing
To keep me safe.
For 4 years I was rapped by my cousin and his son. I never spoke up because I felt like my voice was locked. In a box unsafe to say till one day about a year after it was over I got a knock on my door 2 detectives ask me and I choked but I spoke up. Apparently they ***** his daughter too. The father got 10 years 5 on good time. And the son got off free. Everyday my senior year I saw the son in my gym class and there was nothing I could do. Today is 3 years that the detectives knocked on my door. 3 years ago I thought my voice was saved.
mars 3d
With our heads over the starboard of the boat trip we took taunting tropical storm Fay on the port and our dresses in the wind.
He watched from the captain's chair, pistol in his hand. Salty seas hinder our vision of the man in the watchtower turning him into a blur on the vast expanse of grey skies and rotting wet wood.  

Angry crew-children with their bodies touched, banging on the stained glass door to his room where the little girl looks through the marbled blue with tears on her cheeks. Laughing at the confrontation, sent back to work.

Gathering lobster and lost time, both of them scream in the boiling ***. Escaped breath from incestuious embraces return to lungs and we find out that we can scream too, the boiling *** is overturned dripping off the starboard where we stand.

Lightning bolt touches the flag above his head causing chemical reactions to develop into a spark. Flames at the back engulf the wheel the children blister their hands grasping onto the lines as Fay rolls through, lightning after thunder rain never ending. Chaos perspiring on the ship he calls the battalion to secuestrar the children.

The battalion is overturned at the punch, bruise left on grey skin. Captain blubbering with lies the fire heat on his back. Rotting wood is burning, we cover our noses with bandanas and letters marked for Groton. The tide rises waves overtake the port, splashing onto the starboard where the victims jump into the black water uncertainty chilling them.

Swimming to Key West with the dolphins on our back the fiery ship burns in the distance the captain tied to a chair of ******* and lines untouched, denying allegations until his heart is charcoal and all that's left is a charred body smelling of ****** and aftershave. The starboard side is empty causing imbalance to the ship.

Dripping tears and sea water, walking through the streets, we lower our bandanas and hold the letters close to our hearts. Searching for the sun that will lead us home.
He did not deserve me-
Though he ended up with me, out of pure loneliness
On one end,
And horiness on the other-
He didn’t deserve me.
I am a strong and free woman,
Head held high,
Walking proudly through the crowd
Of judgement.
He wanted to cage me,
To tame me.
Maim me when I misspoke
With the ****** misconduct
Of his ****.
Left his mess for me to mop
And drug his palm against my face
When I didn’t do it quick enough.
I’m into some sick and twisted stuff,
But that doesn’t mean I have to dedicate my life
To a sick and twisted person.
He saw an opportunity and abused it,
Completely.
Ruined a Led Zeppelin album
Because he needed quick pleasure.
A sin.
To me, it was torture
Beyond any measure.
There is no safeword to stop him
From using me that the repeated
Shouting of the word “no”
Shouldn’t override.
Sobs and dry heaving
And unlimited tears that darted down my cheeks
Every time he forced himself
Deeper inside of me
Couldn’t trump a measly “safeword”.
Sneering down at me,
Forcing my legs open
As he stole the one thing
I’d always asked him not to take away-
My trust in men as an entire gender.
And of course,
Something as simple as getting off quick
Could never seem that complicated,
That complex,
In his miniscule male mind.
He came and went-
Dipped to college,
Got with new girls after
Shaving his beard off once he left,
Revealing that he was still a boy
All along.
Under the dad *** of the year
And sneer that was covered
In ****** hair,
Starred a scared boy
Right back at me.
He drinks to numb his pain
While I’m back at home with
A broken liver.
And it’s more of a slap in the face
Than finding out earlier
That he was cheating on me
The entire time
Anyway.
Stings.
More than the quick slaps
Across the face
I’d receive for
Disrespecting him.
He texts me-
On the day my crush,
My other half that I’ve yet to meet
Sends me an update on his life.
Cuffed in Mississippi
For a plant.
Mississippi-
The same place my sister went
After getting strung out.
The place I was at
When my little survivor pup
Was hit by a pickup.
There’s nothing good
In the big Miss.
Only terrible roads and greasy food.
On the other end, the runaway ******
Was telling me he was trying to
“Better himself”.
Asked if we were okay,
And then proceeded to make the conversation
About himself,
As he’d proudly done so many times before.
How stealth-
Can’t find a better man, she lies.
Hands tied,
Just like i’d asked you to,
But more than that.
In my mind, as well.
You’ll rot in ****
For what you did to me.
No, I didn’t go after him.
No, I didn’t tell anyone at first.
No, I never told his college.
What the **** would you even go to college
In Ohio for?
Cornologist?
No, I didn’t pursue him further after…
It.
Karma is my friend.
And I have all the time in the world,
Curing myself,
Not drinking myself to death
And sleeping with every man
Big enough to swing his **** around.
I’m bettering myself, too.
Even if I’m not allowing him to see.
HYA 7d
Pssst! Hi, miss. Ang ganda ng suot mo ngayon a?
Tama na yata ang pagtimpla mo ng koloreto sa iyong mukha
Pssst! Miss, dito ka lang. Marami akong maibibigay
At kasama na doon ang kaligayahan na walang humpay

Oy, miss! Saan ba ang ***** mo?
Maaari mo naman ako sakyan--- ang sasakyan ko
Oy, miss! Ako'y iyong pakinggan
Bakit? Sawa ka na bang gawing laruan?

Sapagkat habang minamasdan ko ang iyong mga mata
Unti-unti nang nawawala ang sansinukob ng mga tala
Nag-umpisa na ring mamatay ang mga bulaklak
Kasabay ng unti-unting paglalaho ng iyong halakhak

Miss, magkano ba ang kapalit ng isang oras mo?
Sumagot ka, lalaki ako at hindi ako nagpapatalo
Ang ikli pala ng saya mo, miss, grabe nakikita ko na
Ang hindi ko dapat nakita sa aking paghinga

Kung maaari sana ay itapon mo na ang iyong antipas
Kinulayan mo pa ang nabubulok na bahag-haring umaatras
Kahit sa katunayan ay kumukupas na ang totoo **** kulay
At tila'y pinalitan ng isang anyo na nananamlay

Oy, miss! Kaunting ngiti naman diyan, sige na
Ipakita mo sa akin kung gaano kahaba ang iyong dila
Mukha naman din yatang magaling ka sa mga palabas
Kung mabibili kita, miss, sa kwarto ay hindi ka na makakalabas

Teka, bakit hindi nalang natin simulan? Maghubad ka na
Tanggalin mo na sa iyong katawan ang mga makukulay na tela
Unahin mo ang mga pambaba at pagtapos ay ang pang-itaas
Ngayon, mag-uumpisa na akong gamitin ka nang hindi patas

Simulan natin sa iyong mukha
Tanggalin na natin ang magulong koloreteng sumabay sa luha
Lalo na itong pulang kulay na dinikit mo sa iyong labi
Na para bang gusto **** maghagkan sa kanto dito sa tabi

Pagkatapos ay ang iyong alahas na hindi naman kumikinang
Na tila ba ay binili mo sa mangmang sa gumagapang
Mga ganito lang naman pala ang kaya **** bilhin
Magkano ka ba? Ang babayaran mo sa mga diyan ay ating hatiin

Dito naman tayo sa damit na iyong isinusuot
Ipakita mo sa akin sa iyong mga peklat na kumukulubot
Ang isa bang ito ay ang nakuha mo noong ginahasa ka?
Tama ako, ano? Hindi? Talaga? E bakit lumuluha ka?

Huli, sa iyong mga sapatos
Para sa paa mo palang malaki na ang iyong gastos
Saan ka na ba dinala ng iyong paa sa paglalakad?
Naabot mo ba ang ibang bansa habang ika'y kinakaladkad?

Baka nakalimutan **** nawawala na ang katarungan
Sa iyong katawan, sa iyong utak at pagkakakilanlan
Miss, tanong ko'y kaya mo pa bang maging matapang
Habang ginagapang sa kalsadang sangalang-alang?

"Miss, ang ganda mo ngayon.
Miss, ang ganda ng hubog ng iyong katawan.
Miss, parang masarap ka naman."

Miss, miss! Tumingin ka sa akin.
Ito na ang huling pagkakataong ika'y tatanugin
Miss, magkano ka ba talaga?
Kahit isang oras lang, idiin ko sa iyong mahalaga ka.
self-worth
So a funny thing happened
I had *** with a boy
Sounds common enough right
Except this boy wasn't my boyfriend
I'll give you a moment to let that sink in

*****
****
Harlot
Really I've heard it all
But won't you please listen
Because every story has two sides

I was drunk
Off my *** really
And what had started as a fun night was coming to and end
Walked with my friend up from the shore
And walked him to his car
Except he was farther off his *** than I
I stole his keys and hid them in my purse
Because I wasn't going to let him drive home
**** himself and the girl in his backseat
So we went into the house
Down into the basement with all the other children
And we shared a mattress on the floor
Just like everyone else
And one by one we began to pass out
Until it was just me and him

I wasn't afraid
I had grown up along side him
I knew all his secrets
And he knew mine
So we talked, and we talked and I don't remember when it changed
When the wheels began to turn
When I lost my shorts
I don't remember when his hands landed on my body
And my memory begins to fade
And I know my heart began to race
And my body became aware of every single movement all at once
And I think I was a tease
I think I was too much
And before I knew it he was on me
Fumbling around and I told him just a little please and
I told him no ***
And then it happened
I'll be the first to admit I don't know what I said to be exact
I don't think I said I changed my mind though
And I know I didn't say no
But it's hard to say anything when you can barley breathe
And then I just shut down
Body did the hard reset and I just blacked out
I know I momentarily woke up when you crawled off of me sobbing
A moment of haze before I was back into darkness

And I woke up and he was gone
And I as alone
I made the call to my boyfriend
A man I loved more than anything
I panicked
I told him I cheated on him
That I was sorry and that it was a mistake
And he accepted it, but he didn't accept me
I was a disgrace
Still am

But yes I had *** with a man
But it wasn't *** like you would know it
It was *** spelled with four letters
R A P E
So call me what you will
But you can never hate me as much as I hate myself so don't even try
With that being said goodnight and goodbye
You know how some people come to terms with incidents in their life, if I so much as ever catch a glance of that man again I'll end him. He took everything away from me.
Mataya Jan 11
Your house was the only safe haven when she met you. At home, she was beat. At school, she was beat, so she couldn't tell the difference between "tough love" and "learning her place" bruises.  When she met you, she was attached to her big sister. Her sister  told her to keep you company while her sister gave herself away again and again. You watched her while she slept. She woke up in your arms from a nightmare not realizing that the reality she woke up to was the nightmare that would haunt her for the rest of her life. You pushed her down and ripped away every sense of safety she had ever felt. She could hear them in the other room. They sounded like they were having so much fun and all she could think about was why was she not having fun? Why did your breath on her neck make her want to swallow herself? Your hands on her neck made her wish she were already dead? Your hands in between her legs made her wonder what was wrong with her? Why was she not enjoying this? Of course she couldn't tell her sister. How could the little girl ruin that for her best friend? After the first time, you got more confident. You brought toys of torture that you use to tear apart her sanity and replace it for hatred for everything that made her a woman. She has learned to detest her hips because you looked her in the eyes and told her you couldn't resist them. How did that 10 year old process that? She learned to cover up all her curves and stay out of everyone's way.  She learned to never say no because that just made things worse. She has learned to hide away. If you ask her about it today, she will deny it because she doesn't want to face the reality that you broke her. If you asked me today how I knew this horrid story, I would say, she is me.
Carl Miller Jan 15
Slick in My mouth, scorching the inside
The taste is addicting, numbing Me up for another ride
The high is suicide, cell by cell, but I no longer care
My body craves it's sickening ****, a fatal dare

No God, No Plan, No Life, I die to any and all emotion
I feel so violated, so empty, so blind
The ink has made Me it's *****, a disgusting devotion
All alone, the truth lies, I crawl to find

Bleeding from every hole, forced to walk, a *****
I no longer feel well, I long to die, but I must behave
The nails rust and ******* Me, I think I'm dying
"It's just this one time, You're doing great!" I hear it lying


Malevolent *******, chains through My hands
Crying doesn't help, She's all I am, or ever will be
One last chance lies at the foot where He stands
My insides hurt, I wash it down hard, She's everything to Me
Written 12/31/18
Mackenzie Jan 15
No means no
It does not mean convince me
No
I do not want to get in the passenger seat
As a child
Throughout my teens
Harassment is engraved deep into my memories

Nap time
A touch over my jeans
The teacher did not mind
We were just kids, right?


No became a new word
with a new meaning
Flashbacks to heavy breathing
Your sweat dripping onto me
Singing my skin

At the age of six
When most kids are playing games and learning cool tricks
You harassed me with
Words i could not repeat
No means no!
****** boy get this through your head
Give it a rest
Silly girl, you're playing games
And this is chess
Make a move, what’s new
I’m always next
I think now, you must have been obsessed

No means no but
in your head it meant ***
No, please don’t leave us alone
I knew where this would go
Flashback to the sound of doors being locked
Give up
Your pants are already off

No does not mean convince me
But it didn’t prevent you from stealing my virginity
Engraved into my brain
A cookie wrapper
Just to be safe
I screamed no but
Silently
It was ****
Eyes flutter while heads pound,
Memories come flooding in,
Someone else in the bed,
Soft smirks, asking how it was,
How what was?
Heart and head pounds,
Memories go blank,
Except small struggles,
Soft drunken no's, that go unheard,
Still touching, no stopping, please stop,
Blank,
Enough, smile,
It was good, it had to be,
Small nagging feelings,
Ignore, ignore, go away,
Nothing happened,
Everything stills,
Voices heard, but not recognised,
Shapes and shadows,
Nothing real, nothing happened,
Silent screams, as the world moves,
World moving, but I am not moving with it.
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