I am a passenger
In my own body.
Everything’s heavy
Memories spotty.

Working away
On a beautiful day
Until my heart begins to race

Adrenaline pumping
But still I’m exhausted.
Lay down on the floor
Feet up in the sky
Get blood to my brain
And continue on with my night.

An engulfing weight
Holding me tight
Pushing me farther
From consciousness’ light

I can hear you, yes.
All that comes out is a breath.
And then again,
I’m drifting away.
I can hear everything they say.

“Open your eyes”
They flutter, sight blocked
I can not
And again
My vision is spotty
A passenger in my body.

Behave, my heart
you skip, jolt,
race
catching up with
the speed of light
you and your
weak faith, and
your strong
predilection towards
fear and worry

You are ferocious,
unrelenting
both quick and false
bitter and
remorseful
believing and
disbelieving
polarizing
hypocritical
and sad

running,
always
running away
stealing my breath
away

God is engineering
your every beat
He owns you
You are borrowed from
Him

So go on, heart,
do what you want,
bolt,
gallop,
fly,
and sprint.

But be joyous
in your every erratic,
wild beat.
And only pump life
and faith
and wisdom.

There's a war on
inside me
Raging on
And I'm fighting.

But I'm not free.
And never will be.
I battle my body...
So everyone can see
(Especially me)
that this war will not end in defeat