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Taking back control of my life
My food is mine
I don’t need to weigh myself twice
Don’t get me wrong I’m still not fine
But I’m a lot better
Eighty-nine pounds was my low
Let me be a trendsetter
Just take it slow
One day at a time
Don’t let that voice take over
It’s an uphill climb
It’s not a four leaf clover
It’ll take tears
Maybe years
Not unscathed but you’ll get through
Take it from from me it’s true
18 pounds ago I was at my low. It’s been almost exactly a year since I was there. A year since I decided that I didn’t like fainting when I stood up and wearing baggy clothes. It didn’t happen overnight and I’m not going to lie to you and say that I never wish I was still that thin but the price it came with was too high. The price of not only muscles being stripped away but also my joy
unnamed Sep 2022
they can't see, they can't see
that it coats my bones, bulges against my skin;
those little yellow bubbles
that make me want to give in.
Jay Aug 2022
so it starts with a girl, barely the age of 10 and already wondering when the baby fat will melt off
glances in the mirror at unwanted curves and softness
why would a 10 year old need to worry about their body?
comments from a father about diets and diseases and suddenly food stops being a necessity but a burden
a brother remarking how a second helping is how you develop diabetes, you don't eat again that night
mom tries to help, "you've got a nice figure" she says
it only makes you hate the softness more
so a girl, at the ripe age of 17, decides that food is no longer a nessesity but a burden
a few months into it a friend makes a joke how you need to start eating more because of how small you're getting
you laugh it off and ignore the pride swelling in your chest
because food was never good or nourishing
but rather numbers on a scale and buttons that didn't quite close
because food was always a burden and never a nesessity
Elena Jul 2022
I am hungry
Nicotine addicted
Smell of cigarettes take over my room
I am starving and I should keep on going
Punish myself for all I did
For all you did to me
I cannot sleep
I cannot eat for comfort
I need to smoke most of the time away
My heart is beating too fast
Or no at all
Broken Pieces Apr 2022
I count each number,
The calories drowning me.
And I just can’t float.
Owen Mar 2022
The hunger,
The discipline,
of ground gained.
Losing Integrity, it all falls apart.
Alexander Lycan Feb 2022
You're so sensitive
You need to grow up
You know he was joking
So why don't you stop
He has different humour
You just don't get it
My dads in his 70's
You can't say anything
It's not like hes lying
You are overweight
It was just a joke
Don't take it to heart mate
It's weird that it hurts you
And I will never understand
Because you just sit there
With your phone in your hand
I am frequently bullied by my exes father instead of taking it out on others i guess i'm doing poems now
Aspen S Feb 2022
i cannot seem to forget
the smallness i had become.
bruised thighs
and sunken eyes
were my reality;
my skin was devoid of
any nutrients,
fragile and delicate.
i could vanish
into nothingness
like quicksand.

my days bled into
one another,
fingers frozen,
heart barely beating,
lungs hardly breathing.
i stared down the
barrel of the gun,
wished to purge my urges,
sat in an endlessly deep
pool of misery until
drowning was all i could do.

i replaced food with air,
consuming empty calories
and dug knives into
my skin as a personal hobby.

i am an open would
that never heals,
and i am desperate
to move on.
a poem on my eating disorder. i thought i had come far only to relapse within a year. here's to starting over.
Kole J McNeil Jan 2022
A tourture that breaks and distorts my mind
Every calorie cafrefully chosen
Written in a journal
Every thing ive eaten since 8th grade
No breakfast
Running out the door a weitght in my stomach
No lunch
Drinking a monster
10 more calories than I need
Vaping in the bathroom
Dreaded dinner
I have to sit and eat with my family
No excuses
Work it off after dinner
Do I go there
Do I sit on the floor racking my lungs
I can feel the fat settle on my bones
Crying myself to sleep
I struggle majorly with my eating. I feel like a failure if i eat over 300 calories in a day
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