Dec 2014
They shaved my head
and cut me open
took my skull
and my way of coping
My life had changed
in just a moment
I can't decide
but I might wish I hadn't done it.
I can't play
or practice
I have to be careful.
If I'm not cautious
with my head
I could instantly wind up dead.
My headaches aren't gone
and I'm still dizzy
all you really took
was half my aspirations.
I hadn't much warning
just a surprise.
And when I could easily die
every day is a compromise.
More just had to be taken away
because the last 13 surgeries
hadn't changed my day to day.
It's a brand new world I'm living in
where all my dreams are limited
and they're starting to run thin.
so here you have me
and I'm crying mercy.
and cut me open
took my skull
and my way of coping
My life had changed
in just a moment
I can't decide
but I might wish I hadn't done it.
I can't play
or practice
I have to be careful.
If I'm not cautious
with my head
I could instantly wind up dead.
My headaches aren't gone
and I'm still dizzy
all you really took
was half my aspirations.
I hadn't much warning
just a surprise.
And when I could easily die
every day is a compromise.
More just had to be taken away
because the last 13 surgeries
hadn't changed my day to day.
It's a brand new world I'm living in
where all my dreams are limited
and they're starting to run thin.
so here you have me
and I'm crying mercy.
six months ago I had a Chiari decompression on my skull. I finally have finished recovery. technically. But sill, my life is limited, and it always will be now. I can't get past that I'm 19 and I feel like I can't do anything. I know it will pass and I will get used to this and accept this with gratitude, but that day hasn't come yet /:
