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busy pitter patters
of feet, at least
to be busy
these humans,
these flesh sacks,
place their bags
their unconsciousness
on this barnes & noble’s
coffee tables
whose chairs aren’t comfortable

yet, here they sit, beside me
amongst me
and an old
ancient, it seems now,
version of me would’ve cursed them
while pretending to associate
to relate
to give a ****
for doing so,
for raising my anxiety,
for reflecting what i truly was,
at least
to identify with that narrow
window of my self

some collide
intuitively, whatever the hell you brand it

we all seek
always elsewhere,
never with our miserable
anxious selves

and if we can’t connect
we, at least
to do so
much like our riddling iphones
desperate for battery
for a sort of
for life
somewhere else
else rather than within

to be alone, amongst the crowds,
without our phones, our books,
our lovers, our seven dollar coffees,
our ******* egg white breakfast sanwhiches

almost as if these things
are essential to the unsavory
cravings and desires, or
dare i say

we pretend
to work, to live
we read, without reading
we speak, without thinking,
we speak, without speaking,

“to be, or not to be.”

we don’t care for
how could we?
we’re just so

at all


people pretend.
Jellyfish Feb 23
There's so many different paths I want to run down,
Different places I yearn to see.
I'd like to live somewhere beautiful
Where I can simply be

I fight with myself over the fantasies I keep,
Sometimes I'm sure I'll live somewhere far,
I could have a chicken or two,
My dog could enjoy a huge yard.

Other times I know deep down,
I need convenience and I'd surely fail
Without being somewhere crowded,
Delivery is a privilege.

I don't want the middle between these two places,
Because suburbia was depressing,
Living only two inches away from a bustling family,
I didn't like the times I lived with mine there.

I'd need space undoubtedly.
Then the absurdity starts showing,
I think to myself.. I'll find an abandoned city
Maybe a desserted town like the ones tiktok shows me.

I could pretend I'm in my own story
And the empty streets would be my own
I could wander these houses and see what was left behind...
I think it sounds silly but, it always comes to mind.

If I could live in the house of my dreams
It would be somewhere unimaginable
Underneath the deepest seas.
I'd have glass walls, and a ceiling made of stars

I'd wake up to see jellyfish blooms
And sit in awe, nothing to do
I could swim to the surface somehow
And watch meteors fall

I think what I truly desire
Is somewhere comfortable
Where I can imagine these wishes
Without being bothered by time, or people who don't really care

Or maybe I belong on another planet,
Because I feel alien everywhere.
riri Oct 2022
there are two types of love i've experienced, but none were everlasting

there is the love that is electric, the chemistry is undeniable
you can spend hours talking to them and not one moment will ever be dull
your mind becomes addicted to this person, they become your drug
you saw forever in that person's eyes the first time you ever looked in

then there is the love that is calm, the chemistry isn't really there though
you love them and would do anything for them, yet that electricity is missing
it's a calm type of love, the kind where you can be your 100% self
you found a best friend, yet it's not the "i see forever with you" type of love

the day i find my soulmate is the day i find both of these things in one person.
but most importantly, you need to fall in love with yourself first before you give your heart out to anyone else
The best place
I ever lived
was in your heart,
I am no longer cold.
Indonesia, 9th October 2021
Arif Aditya Abyan Nugroho
A M Ryder Aug 2021
Why are you here?
Things can change
Tomorrow could
Be different
You have your thing
That's not unattainable

Maybe your
Version is
The person you feel
You can open up to
Maybe it's a place
You know
You can be safe

But it's out there
And it's not
That far away
aspen wilde Jul 2021
we learn to navigate the darkness
learn to let it seep through our souls
that way it's no longer unnerving
it's comfortable and beautiful
the beauty of being nocturnal is one i wouldn't trade for anything
LC Apr 2021
is something I wish someone would have said when I was falling through the depths of hell and my spirit was being burned over and over again and my voice was eroding while they cast my pain aside and took my power away so they could feel comfortable. they forced me to stuff the feelings deep within my heart and look perfect for the pictures so they could feel comfortable. they kept pushing me more and more, even though every cell in my body was joining forces to keep me from falling apart, so they could be comfortable. my body and mind were wrung out and tattered, and I thought the only way out was to do it myself. i would have given anything for them to say "I'm worried about her" and actually DO something about it. but they wouldn't have been comfortable with that, would they?
#escapril day 10!
GQ James Nov 2020
Took the risk of branching on my own,
It has been far from easy,
I held down my own,
Being grown is being able to survive on your own,
I stay in my zone,
I can be around many but still feel alone.

Ain't nothing like being at home,
Being in a house isn't being at home,
Home is where you're comfortable,
Not every place and every person is comfortable,
The ones we can trust make us comfortable.

Clothes still in the suitcase,
Everything still where it was,
My body is here but my heart is elsewhere,
You can't help where you feel comfortable,
Can't help who you feel comfortable with,
The heart knows what the heart wants,
The heart knows where the heart belongs.
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