You have so much potential.
So, So, So, So much.
And whenever you put a blade to your skin,
I watch the universe leak from the scars on your wrist.

You told me suicide shouldn't be romanticized
And self harm isn't beautiful
But
I see you every day
Carving flowers and hearts into your wrists
Arranging pills in neat little lines
And wrapping notes in fraying ribbons before pulling the trigger

You say there's always a reason why not
but you were the one who cried over an ignored text message
Ignored - meaning - no one responded in 2 minutes
After telling me I should get over the fact an old friend texted me
Before killing himself

You told me people who find beauty in the pain are ignorant and apathetic
But I don't think it's too terrible to find artistry
In the parallel lines that tell stories of how my heart is still beating
Even when I wished it hadn't

But go ahead, keep telling the ones who find the beauty in the tragedy that they're wrong
Even though we're the ones who **** tried to die

Miss Perfect
Who has everything going for her, always achieving her goals and striving for more.

She has a fantastic family who watch over her, support her, give her anything she needs.

Not only a family, but a lover! At 23? to have a fiance?? Wow she has really got everything going for her.

She's so headstrong - intimidating even, thats so admirable. She is always so motivated, never letting her mind stray from what she wants.

She's going to have a great life.

But what they don't know,
what they don't see
are the ***** imperfections
the scars
the pulling of her skin and hair
the cuts
the blood
the waking up in cold sweats
the s c r e a m i n g
the crying, crying, crying,
the plan, written out in full with a date stamped on the front
the pain
the insults ripping through her mind every second of every day

They don't really see her, at all.
Just what they want to see.

slowly i learn
to push away the thoughts
of blood and bleeding
or pills and puking
of starving and loose jeans
of tragedies to other people unseen

slowly i tell myself
ill be okay
maybe

slowly maybe
i learn to recover

drinking and drowning
slowly i fall back
maybe i cant

slowly maybe
im stuck after all

slowly i pull myself
back up
i learn to shower
and eat and sleep
and exist again

my body destroyed
more and more each time

slowly maybe
i learn to love scars
and stretch marks
and chub

cheerful faces fall
slowly maybe i fall
back

but
slowly maybe
i learn to survive

I remember how sweet it was when you held my hand
Just to let me know you were there and that you cared
But with my hand pressed against yours you noticed

"what are those?"

You caught me off guard
And we were both looking at the faint reddish pink marks all over my wrists and arms

"it's nothing just the cat"

And you smiled a weak smile
Knowing **** well I didn't have a cat
I was allergic to cats