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Cat Fiske May 2015
try to see,
what my mind is lacking,
everyday tonight,
10 words
Cat Fiske Apr 2015
wait till you can see a sunset,
though blind eyes,
just something nice
Cat Fiske Apr 2015
I Wanna,

I wanna,

ten word poem
Cat Fiske Apr 2015
3 hours,
to shower,
is observed,
but if you knew what I was doing,
you'd know,
its not enough time,
in the world,

A hour to start,
I get my buzz,
Its just a mike,
wont do much harm,
But I need to relax
my state of mind,
headaches all day,
not going to change in time,

an hour in,
I begin to compress,
I hate everything,
I've ever done to myself,
But will that stop me,
because it hasn't stopped you,
So I'll bleed for a minute out of every burn and cut,
for everyone who couldn't stop either,
because were all inhuman,

and now I've sat here,
for two hours,
Water on my face,
Started standing,
in this hot water,
even turned it up,
and I feel cold,
so I'll freeze while I clean,
and bandage myself up,

we hit the three hours,
and the water stops,
and the last drops go down the drain,
like that will drain my pain,
but to just rid myself of a day,
I'd need to clean myself for a week,
and even then,
Nothing would change.
Just some things I deal with because of my depression anxiety social anxiety PTSD and other stuff.
Cat Fiske Apr 2015
I will tell you every detail and fact no matter how mean,
lets start off by being honest I was turning sixteen,
my life was falling faster then the leaves from trees,
Dropped like petals from decaying flowers
                 because they were ignored by the bee's,
I was wilting massively wanting to be free,
of my misery,

**** is not something they teach you about,
and when it happened to me it was considered allowed,
Because when he did it,
I didn't have a fit,
or say "No stop",
I just kept crying like I was before in even more shock,
But like a toddlers screams and cries,
Your demanding wants was the only compromise,
But in the the same way,
my cries made me just as much as your baby,
and he didn't take care of me,
like he promised he would,
like any man claims they could,

I was still cutting myself up again,
until December 2014 on the 10th,
That's when I decided to stop,
We had split, in late February,
the year before now as it still felt then it felt even more necessary,
now to cut myself again,
because like my face has been a women though she could be so plain,
and state to me sweetie,
as I listened to a women use words like a child does things sneaky,
As she explained to me how badly you had mistreated me,

I didn't disagree,
but she and I knew I wore a face of unbelief,
like how a drug addict doesn't wish to admit there mistreatment,
but to make it worse she tied in my mother and father,
like tying the rope on there daughter,
I now sat on the floor,
my life I lived was not the same and I couldn't handle more,
I heard her talk to me about the school,
and all the kids there,
and what they did to me,
but right then my body only knew how to go through the motions,
of point A to point B,
when I got up and grabbed a pen,
and began,

I spoke about my 8th birthday my final birthday party,
9,... I mean 10,
I wrote on my arms,
till both looked like a henna tattoo's gone into a complete mess,
but they were names,
and places,
and everything,
because I remembered everyone's words,

I took the pen,
and on each sleeve of hate,
I made what as a normal person would call there own fate,
pen in hand I put pen to skin and pressed down,
and like how you press your lips and body to the person you love
you move around,
the pen was pulled down,
and like Siemens twins
the other helped me drown
the next one.

the day before my birthday I leave the hospital,
and I know what I did was not logical
but like a freak it was probable,
and the kids not knowing the scars on my arms,
the wounds I had created most due to them,
still picked on me,
I went home and my mom yelled at me,
I skipped dinner,
woke to the same thing,
she demanded to drive me in,
and hit me the whole five minute car ride there,

It was my birthday,
my 16th birthday,
and I hit my mother back finally,
while she was driving,
I arrived at school,
and she was cursing at me,
so I cursed back,
Called her a **** and ran inside crying,
6: Talk about the worst birthday you have had. this is all true. i encourage u to write one too, or go to my collection and find one of the 40 story topics and write one,
Cat Fiske Apr 2015
My love for you,
Causes me to wake every 45 minutes,
I wake up crying because of the things we said,
I remember the time we spent,
And how you thought it could never end,
But it did,

As I knew open my self up to you,
It would,
You saw me naked,
And crying,
And you still said you loved me,

My body is like an army that can barely get up off the ground,
It’s been destroyed and broken so many times,
It’s hard to look at,
And you did,
And kissed all my burns,
All my cuts,
And all my bruises,

And you promised me that you will always love me,
No matter what my skin read,
And I believed that,
And that,
And my soldiers have marcher on for too long,
and they are tired of the battle,

We wish to be done,
you made the mistake,
Your now the cause of these never ending wars,
You have caused me to scar,
just my insomnia at its best, and its due to my PTSD triggers, beds and stuff sometimes don't allow me to sleep, I have to sleep on the floor or recently with my eyes open, to get 45 minutes to two hours a night
Cat Fiske Jul 2016
my tongue soaks in the spit in my mouth like its bathing in acid,
everything begins to burn in my mouth,
but I haven't had anything but water,
and the casual biting of my stubby fingernails,
I feel a little less then dull compared to the angel with greasy hat hair,
my bangs never stood a chance next to her rolled out of bed attire,
I didn't have the grace to pull a look like that off,
or well any look it seemed like,
but he clearly liked her,
and I let him have her,
and I keep the tears inside,
until his silky hair boy and the plain looking girl were gone,
and I weeped damp wet tears,
and felt like every bit of me was as bitter as battery acid,
Cat Fiske May 2015
don't hand in,
ever written,
during a* **panic attack.
you will be sent to guidance,
Cat Fiske Aug 2016
and you came back again,
and then the thoughts come back again,
and the world turned to **** again,
and my life felt worthless again,
and the coffee tasted bitter again,
and everything was bitter again,
and the voices came back again,
and I cried in my room again,
and I pictured all my mistakes again,
and I found my old photos again,
and I forgot how much I missed being loved again,
and I remembered all the terible things you did again,
and I cried even louder again,
and then my mistakes the followed came back again,
and my eyes got weak again,
and I thought about my friends again,
and then I figured they hated me again,
and everyone hated me again,
and no one came back to save me again,
and i'm alone to save myself again,
and I don't know how to again,
and my life feels meaningless again,
and its getting so hard to hold on again,
and I don't know who I can trust again,
and I'm not okay again.
and everything was wrong again,
and this keeps happening again,
and again,
**and again
Cat Fiske Feb 2016
A tear, shed down for each fear that's been sticking inside my head,
A life, not worth your time, because the soul inside has died,
A thought, has killed its host, as the leave her to decay away to what she fears most,
A hope, for she has none, she is broken, she has come undone.
A friend, for she has lost them all, to her mind's fears that trap her inside,
A mind, that tears her apart,
A heart, that is stolen with her innocence,
A body, that suffered abuse from everything that hides in her closet,
A closet, too small to hide her pain, or memories,
A life, that she had tried to live on though,
a tear, is all there is left for her to do.
Cat Fiske May 2015
  ­ me,      
now i'm trying to get...*                 **sober,
christian right.
Cat Fiske Aug 2016
I am alone,
I pushed all the wrong people,
Cat Fiske May 2015
and in the world of unknown,
the boy sat alone,

he was so much on his own,
and he wanted a friend so bad he was willing to make a clone,

and he thought more about making a friend in his mind,
because he didn't know his own cline,

and when he saw her,
chills went up his chine,

she made jaws drop,
and sweaty chins,

and you imaging what her love was like,
like raw sugar cains,

and you give me so many pains,
in all my veins as you come closer,

are you walking to me? does someone care?
do you want to stop being alone and be like, umm... **pairs?
I used the words from a word ladder go figure
Cat Fiske Jan 2016
When this nobleman was around,
He went town to town,
segregation, being his fight,
while brave men of black and white,
went hand in hand and were united, by one common goal,
to save america's face,
or the blacks and the whites would get the same terrible fate,
but at that same time, Martin Luther ironically had to fight,
for black kids to walk into the same schools as the whites,
ride and sit on the same bus,
and even get the same bathrooms, water, and bar counter brunch,
but we could have them be in a war together,
no if ands or butts,
because oh great america like we are now,
doesn't stay out of other countries or allow,
that country to do its thing,
has america let someone tell us how to run our land?
didn't we leave great britain for our independence?
so how come like then and now,
we get into war over problems other countries need to fix themselves,
when we havn't fixed ourselves yet either,
Martin Luther King Jr. Could've told you that,
anyone from a history book could predict the future,
because we have not learned from any mistake we have made
so america is at fault and the one to blame.
all truth
Cat Fiske Jan 2016
Lately I've fallen down,
deeper then I can dig myself out,
I've taken up smoking when they only make things worse,
My skin itches because I am allergic to some of the chemicals,
My body can't breath well enough for a good while after,
asma or not, I have to remember I wasn't breathing when I started,
at least now I feel my body trying. to do something.
sometimes if I  smoke too much my body can't take it and I *****,
funny thing is, I highly doubt any Native American smoked these.
Cat Fiske May 2016
Born into this world free,
at our starts,
we've been made equal,

as we grow like a flower from a seed,
our nature leads us to break away,
at the beauty that it holds so dearly,

and once we are free'd,
we have also handed over our self control,
as we start to journey into the unknown.

we join into our society,
create our communities,
as we are made one with the residents of our territories,

tallying up our ballots
to determine the majority,
and voice our opinions as one,

but what becomes of the controversy?
the Runner up to the majority?
and who has the right to cast the ballot?

only men,
only those of white skin,
only those of a prosperous breed.

Those whom are never controlled,
but wish to take the repelled as there property,
as the pursue of others seem to end in only their benefits,

imported men bound to nonnative men,
by those whom forgotten their own native skins,
Forgotten they also traveled across the sea,

and back as they force imported men over sea,
as shiploads roll in,
with the contents of labor bearing men,

The Fixed majority binds those of minority,
Women, Children and Imported men,
to their fateful aftermath,

Eventually as we grow,
The Majority begin to release their control.
The minority stands up to the ******* they with held.

They fight for their rights,
and they last for their life,
The nightmare more pleasant to handle.

They don't hold back their pressing manners,
They don't fall two steps back to only move forward one.
They don't back down to those out to damage them.

The compromise is far from completion.
as the lack of freedoms still create more conflicts,
thus having to re-compromise again,

Those bound to religion and other establishments,
creates the fear of change for men,
the resistance leads to hate,

Hate towards people who must judge on face value,
rather than seeing a person past their appearance.
to the point of formation of organizations to patronize these people more.

those who suffer from these acts,
are still stuck inside the past,
they can't be happy for something they barely have.

They suffer silently,
hopping their dreams will one day come true,
to be equal without the needs for laws to make you to,

To feel actual equality
without the labels they have been given from society,
to feel their birth given rights in effect.

Some who suffer say it's worthless to keep trying,
even though their moment ended with people dying,
The cause is worth the fulfillment of those who suffered back then,

And back then the rolls were set in stone,
where women couldn't hold their own,
but now we face men and women trying to change.

The rolls will stay the same,
and they will flip flop and duplicate,
where everyone gets a ballot to voice their say,

Where dreams that reach from sea to shining sea,
will one day be able to breathe and shine through,
But dreams don't shine through,

not all are free from their marginalization.
not all are free to make their accusations,
not all people are born into the rights of freedoms.

Our nation has defaulted and defamed their citizens,
unless inside an arms race, then we are free to die next to each other,
before attending a meal together,

our nation is built by those who ran away from oppression,
those whom tried to grant their families a new beginning,
those whom have now moved away from their old traditions,

we are trying to make room for the change,
we are trying to make room for our voices,
we have been trying to make room for our dreams,

but somewhere along they way,
our dreams have started to fade away,
as our pride as an american is declining at the fastest rate,

their are too many dreams trying to take place,
when we change this and change that,
we forget to change ourselves,

we forget our morals and views,
we have forgotten the golden rule,
we need to treat others like we would treat ourselves,

roll of child, women, man, aside,
difference of Skin, Hair, or even Eyes,
difference of heritage gender and age too,

what I do to you,
should be taken with meaning,
and If I can't respect you.

should you respect me?
The core of our problems have a trace,
attitude is desire for the outcome.

America is never going to stay the same,
day by day America and its people constantly change,
And there's no escape.
For my English final
Cat Fiske May 2015
I wrote words
To try and bandage
The broken things.
Things like the mind and soul and hearts,
Of angels that fell apart and wings have given out,
I let the broken wing do its thing,
You can't fix a Devil in disguise,
With words acting like tape and bandages,
And your devil commanded wings
Flew you down corridors of sorrow,
And classroom bullies of depression,
And those heart palpitations,
Was your chest trying to protect you from within,
Not telling you to let the devil in and steal your soul for a mere sanity,
Your not as insane as they come,
Devils and Angels all are one as the same hand,
They have bend dealt and handed out a loaded gun,
And what they chose to do with the gun,
To put it to your temple,
Or to there's over an over again,
Is all in the free will and mind a god from above gave man kind,
The freedom of free mind and thought,
But why are we blind?
We have the right to things other animals have there rights stripped from,
And we do that to other countries, people, and ourselves,
Like a god wrote a bible that is lines in the game telephone,
passed on like dropped calls that still got the message with the little details missing.
Because it was a story to teach you something,
To help you get through a hard time,
But instead we use gods gifts to oppress those around us,
And those around us,
Use it to oppress us,
So my words try to act like bandages,
Like gods did,
But even God couldn't fix the broken things,
because God made the world and left the broken things,
while he rested on the 7th day,
when he could of fixed things.
what would he of changed?
Poem about the bible and gid and stuff
Cat Fiske May 2015
Things have been
changing, everyday, so its
no wonder, we didn't stay the same,
it's been years since we've been close, and
every time I just happen to run into you, you're
not the same person, who was that person then, you
have built bridges, that you have seem to cross, and
I just seem, to jump off, but the fact of the matter
is, you and I, have changed so much,
we're not the same anymore,
We have tried to
grow up,*
like a child,
stealing her
mother's red lipstick,
we are painted red, but
your red, is a red of beauty
and love, and mine is of blood,
lust and honest disgust, we
have chosen different paths,
and we walk circles
*in the woods,
trying to get to
the center of infinity as
if we can meet again, in the center
paths limbo of the happy end you walk & sad
one I walk, So when we meet in the center, and we
never cross paths, and never talk long enough to hear
each other's life stories, we just end up walking in
that never ending circle, and as we circle; life
hits us with things, some good; some
bad, but for 3.14% of the time
it's as simple as pi to
get through it.
Just a poem about change and how we don't see it on us but on others.
Cat Fiske Oct 2017
smile across,
this women's,
brings me,
so much joy!

I play to her,
a picture,
of her face,

A picture,
of this woman's face,
is left inside,
my head,

for she has left,
and I alone,
with a picture of her face,

I can play,
for her still,
for her memory,
never fades,

she is still,
right by my side,
I still have,
a picture of her face.

and though,
she left,
so sudden,
so abrupt,
I remember,
one important thing,
the way she smiled,
the way she laughed,
and how I still have,

I miss,
my love,
so dear,
to me,
in a flash,

only to leave,
a picture of her face,

she only left,
a picture of her face.

my love is gone,
and left so fast,
leaving me here,
to play to,
a picture of her face,

I remember,
her smile,
the way she laugh,
but only stare,
to a picture of her face,

my love is gone,
and left so fast,
leaving me here,
to play to,
a picture of her face,

I remember,
her smile,
the way she laugh,
but only stare,
to a picture of her face,

I still,
play to her,
for she has left,
and I alone,
with a picture of her face,
Scoot Joplin a picture of her face, during the song.
Listen to the song while reading to get the tempo
Cat Fiske Jul 2015
my room was a mess,
and we added to it as we undressed,
because I couldn't wait any longer.

I love the feeling of you on me,
as I try to be quite
You came in my mouth,
gripping my head,
my neck,

you tell me, "moan baby"
you love to hear me moan,
you wanted me to moan so loud the whole town could hear,
when I do I feel so happy to be with you,

I lay next to you,
wrap my body around you,
I hold ur hands and make a face that says everything were going to do,
is going to be *****,
but I want to love you,

I kiss you to the point there's no point in stopping,
and when our fingers are unlocking,
they stroke your hair,
hair I love,
you grab my *** and spank it hard,
and I move my hands down your body never pausing,

but I can feel every part of you,
I know that this time its not frightening,
I make my way all the way down to your ****,
and I put it in and we go off,
our ******* feels like it never stops,

we took the time to trace the outlines of each others bodies,
we looked into each others souls,
and now I'm getting ***** faster than eminem's Rap God,
and his body feels like a god,

the ******* begins,
and i'm pleased within,
moaning louder than before,
really hopping the neighbors aren't home next door,

and this is how loving you should feel.
so unreal,
even though its all real.
Someone asked me to write this
Cat Fiske May 2015
I wonder how many people we've overlooked,
and never seen,
just something short and sweet
Cat Fiske Apr 2016
Baby Bobby is free,
No more whips, from amish men,

Baby Bobby is free,
You kicked and screamed on the glue truck sweetie,

Baby Bobby is free,
A nice lady Cathleen rescued you for me,

Baby Bobby is free,
She Cleaned you up and healed your wounds,

Baby Bobby is free,
Bobby baby, why are you scared of me,

Baby Bobby is free,
Bobby baby, I'd never hurt you, I just want to love you,

Baby Bobby is free,
Bobby why do you kick and scream?

Baby Bobby is free,
Bobby I love you, what's wrong baby.

Baby Bobby is never going to be Free,
Bobby is trapped inside his fears, much like me.
My horse Bobby has PTSD no wonder I love him so much.
Cat Fiske Jan 2016
Why does my soul strive to lead me towards broken things,
As if my soul wasn't broke enough, my soul likes to forget my memories,
memories of bad people doing very bad things,
My body doesn't need a reminder, as we know the taste of this disease,
it's eaten away at my body before,
making every breath harder and harder to breath in air,
like a mother gasping to bring her child with life again, I mourned,
My soul should've learned by now, I don't dare to give prayers,
to broken and bad things, full of hate and hurt,
these types of people attract to me like i'm in pain,
I don't find my soul like theirs trapped six feet underground in the dirt,
instead, I'll cry longer then the rain,
as if this will wash away my misery rather then hurt someone I love,
but instead my body longs for bad souls like you,
you're down below the dirt my love, and i'm trapped crying for you above,
where you and I meet again has to be different, has to be new,
I'd let myself ignite like a fire and burn,
I'd watch you dump water over my flame,
and expect  me to return,
but the shameful fact is the flame is more tamed,
then the water,
I wanted peace,
you wanted to slaughter,
Maybe I need to let you go, like butterflies you eventually must release,
Cat Fiske May 2015
being beautiful has to do,
with the words:
BEing yoU,
beauty is in all of us
Cat Fiske Feb 2016
I believe in things
they say,
"not to, believe in,"
Cat Fiske May 2015
A world in black,
and white
That's how we see,
our history
A world if good,
and evil
That's how we see,
A world of land,
and sea
That's how we see,
the earth
And a world of dark,
and light
That's the beauty,
in life
And the world we live in is not,
Our world is,
a mess
But things stay,
the same
I see the colors white,
to black
And black,
to white
I see the good in people,
to there evil
And the evil in people,
to there good
I walk on,
the land
And swim in,
the sea
And live when it's light,
to dark
Or dark,
to light
What ever it,
may be
And my world has,
never been
So horrifyingly,
To bad I'm at the pointwere I'm just a, walking skeleton
I rip the flesh off my lips as I,
bite them
For my nails are,
to short
and hurt to much when I try to bite,
at them
And life,
Goes on
And that's all that you can do,
Live *"Normaly"
Cat Fiske Apr 2015
It didn't start with blades,
It started with panicked hands of third grade,
going into my mouth,
To rip my teeth out,
idk just part of something
Cat Fiske Apr 2015
had no clue,
what new blue shoes,
and going to zoo,
could do for you,

to Rue,
on Cue,
had their eyes glued,
and new true,
that very few,

with Rue,
to Peru,
And lost their new,
Blue shoes,
But gained a new
Blue hue,

and Rue,
got married in Peru,
Under their New,
english project had to ryme with one of the following words:
Her, him, he, she, we, me, you, they, their, there, they're,
Cat Fiske May 2015
I used to fall for her,
head over heels,

but somehow I let us,
get off on the wrong foot,

because I didn't put my best foot forward,
enough times to save face,

and it didn't take an army full of men and women,
in about face to know they set up there own fate.

but of all the wars best spy,
none have gotten the chance to spy on your eyes,

eyes of sparkles and love though light,
but you don't know that when I see you everything seems alright,

even though it will cost me an arm and a leg,
to get close to you and I'm greeted with a cold shoulder,

when I just want your open arms,
to be meant for me,

meant for just holding my body,
to hold not just our body's but souls closely,

but I have to keep my nose clean,
and stop my tears and sniffling,

I will start by keeping my chin up,
and playing my life  by ear,

for I wasted all these years on you,
so I need to bid these thought of you "farewell"
idk just something about love, I made it about a girl, in ways the girl could be me, or she could be another girl(s) I wanted to be with, but like her and like myself sometimes we all don't relies when a guy likes us. sometimes its our bad days. sometimes were painstakingly rude. But if you wanna call this person a man, he is inspired by this fat boy I go to school with, Very good at foot ball, was too heavy for wrestling though. But he is the gentle giant, who really wants a girlfriend. he does a lot with the plays. and we are good friends. why he asked me out many times. but every time I said no. And one time I was complaining about it to someone who told him I hated him, witch wasn't true, I just didn't wanna date him (Also I was seeing someone I didn't wanna share with people at school) and he was very upset. and Its happened worse with other girls, who said yeah to dates or made him buy them stuff, and I Showed him this, and he really liked it. so I mean IDC if anyone likes it its just for Jacob, because he deserves love I guess, or I mean At lest not to get led on and used for so long. I love him like a brother, and he gets that, because I've been honest with him from day one. Witch is what a guy wants.
Cat Fiske Jan 2016
I am the Box Turtle,
I shut you out,
and sleep away in my shell,

I am the Box Turtle,
the only turtle who is safe from the world,
the only turtle who can shut away the world,

I am the Box Turtle,
I'll hid for life,
behind the hinges that cover me,

I am the Box Turtle,
Who will slam my door,
on you and the world,

I am the Box Turtle,
I can live my life in my shell,
while you continue creating this hell,

I am the Box Turtle,
I will not fight,
I will live in peace not war,

I am the Box Turtle,
I'll  lock the ones who try and hurt me out,
to try and survive these battles alone,

I am the Box Turtle,
inside my hinge like doors,
I'll be safe from the world,

I am the Box Turtle,
I must be safe from you,
and any other fools.
Box turtles  are cool,
only turtle that can fully close its shell bc it has mini doors,
I love em, they're cute.
Cat Fiske Dec 2019
You interest me.
If only I could have come to my senses sooner.
If only I choose quality over distance.
If only I would have looked In front of me.
If only i had gotten sober sooner,
or never became an addict at all.

You simply fascinate me with every part of your soul.
It makes me sad to know that you and I will never work out now.
It makes me sad to know that ******* you,
is the only way I can get close to you again.
It makes me sad that I think sometimes and almost believe,
that you just are using me.

You make me want to learn about your life.
I want to hear about your job.
I want to hear about your day.

I want to hear about the struggles and the ups and downs.
What happened with your car.
Why did you stop wearing your cross?
I want to hear it all.

You always made me happy,
and always took care of me.
Even though I was just a friend.
Even though I lead you on.
Even though I never told you how I feel.
Even though I didn't deserve your support, or help.

You make me want to love you,
but you will never love me.
For my mistakes.
For my imperfections.
For myself.

I am unsure how to feel.
I feel like I need to explain myself,
but don't know where to start or what to say.

I am to scared to push you away again.
I'm scared of ******* up.
I'm scared of it all.

But you also make me feel at peace,
while I'm also now anxious,
wanting to know what you think.
But you also never tell me how you feel or anyone really.

I want to know you.
All of you.
I want you to know who I really am.
Not the idea you have of me currently.
I had to get these feeling out
Cat Fiske May 2015
and I will absolutely be positive!
even while I stalk your words,
even when there words that make me want to cry,
even when there words that speak of such simple things,
you make them so much more,
even when there words that make other words seem meaningless,
even when you point out the uglyness in our world,
I will chose to only see the beauty,
and love it,
and when people chose not to be kind,
you have to do away with them,
and love the kind souled people,
because there all that are going to matter in this world,
add: brandon nagley,
this is about him.
Cat Fiske May 2015
in a long sleeve
to cover the evidence

And painting an expression
of contentful bliss

But it is simply an illusion
for the sake of others

Denial the easiest act to employ

Crimson tears stream down
and pool on the floor

A slight shudder
from the sting of the razor’s kiss

Momentary reprieve
from the turbulance in her mind

This pain her only time of joy

But the outside world only sees
the smile on her face

A subtle attempt to make it seem
like nothing’s amiss

Her false expression
of happiness forever a burden to her

Because no one wants a broken toy…
Old poem
Cat Fiske Nov 2015
I promised myself,
I will not burn my flesh,
and feel as if the hell i'm in is like the hell below,
as the lighter makes my skin itch,
as if i'm hotter than the sun's kisses.
and maybe your jealous I kept this promise to myself,

I kept my promise,
while you told me lies,
as your bent the truth like the metal in your skin,
but I had to hold all my urges in,

I kept my promise,
while the world crumbled around me,
while my mother wanted to shout at me,
for the pain I caused her,
as I only let tears come out,

I kept my promise,
while a boy told me he loved me,
as he got his and my heart wrap up like in a to-go bag,
he shortly stopped holding my hand and started raising them to me,
and I only said stop,

They broke their promise,
why am I not allowed to,
as them before me,
let them watch me bleed out the broken truth,
as they may see for the first time,
how they have hurt me,
Broken Truth, is about being told, not to do things, by people who keep lying to you
Cat Fiske Mar 2016
Almost jumped off that bridge,
sadly I wish I did.

instead I found some relief in *** cigs,
and used to help me forget,

I held my breath to calm down,
until tomorrow came around.
been mylife the last 2 months.
Cat Fiske May 2015
he thinks he's burdening me,
with his bothersome texts and such,
but truth be told,
I love them lots,

he thinks he's burdening me,
with his bothersome IMs and photo spams,
but truth be told,
I find it cute and sweet,

he thinks he's burdening me,
but he writes me page upon page of poems,
on everything my life hold,
and we have and may never met,
I hope we can,
he know so much about me,
even the things I don't understand,

So I'm burdening you,
because yeah,
your wasting your time on little old me,
who just sit and wastes her life away,
living on poetry,
when I need to be living a life,
where things matter more,
then words I have on torn pages,
thats how I'm,
*Burdening you.
Brandon :P its for you.
Cat Fiske Dec 2015
I wiped away every memory you left me with,
as I printed the messages like you wrote me letters,
sealed them in in envelopes,
but boxes marked incinerate,

I waded through knee deep snow,
carrying a box full of memories while wearing some I couldn't let go,
I removed your sweater off my back and created a fire from the tear stained sleeves,
I burned the rest with the box, and cried over the memories that couldn't go away,

I lay down into the snow, holding onto your memories that went too deep,
crying because I can't remember some of the things you did with my body,
crying because I honestly wouldn't wanna know.
like as if  crying would honestly allow me to let go,

you used to tell me things like how I didn't have to worry about my makeup,
or how I didn't have to worry about everyone,
and how you told me you loved me despite my flaws,
like the ones covered over my whole body,

and yet you tricked me,
so I'd let you in,
I was weak and you hurt me,
you don't deserve me,

but who would deserve me,
other than you,
you ruined me,
and I'm the fool.
old memories, bad memories. they never seem to fade away.
Cat Fiske May 2015
its easy
to love me
at 2a.m.
If I'm happy.

but what if,
I'm on the bathroom floor,
Cat Fiske Feb 2016
Just once,
can someone please,
be afraid,
losing me,
Cat Fiske May 2016
Like a candle we all shrink away,
and are left in a pool of our own mess,
but I collected up the wax,
to make the broken things new,
and that's when my candle holder shattered,
and you can't fix things like broken glass,
the same way you can with old used wax,
it has to stay broken,
because you can't mend all broken things.
Cat Fiske Apr 2015
We all want to Support
stopping racism,
because we sent black and white men to die in war together,
before we could be educated together,

The end gender inequality,
Because women can't where cloths,
and feel safe,
walking down a street alone,
with out feeling were going to get *****.

Same or different *** relationships,
Because the way you love your significant other,
wouldn't be the same if they changed there gender to the other?

Transgender rights,
Because there a man everywhere else but in there pants,
And men don't get cervical cancers,
So yes legally changing my gender won't help me if i need a treatment only a lady would get,
and this goes vice a versa,
But I shouldn't have to worry about any other pains,
except the possibility of one in my unwanted ****.

**** victims,
including males,
Yes you,
Feminist views,
Please just Stop over looking,

Men go though it too.
And we all may know men may be the main cause,
Women have just as much play,
No human,
Wants an unwanted Violation,
to come into any contact with them so personally,

See all these things,
we want to stop,
and they need to,

When u last walked down the street,
what stranger did your Arrogant eyes peek?
they saw someone,
and you though they were,

too fat,
too small,
too tall,
a ****,
needs to button up,
he used to pop pills,
now he cant pay his bills,
and there's so many I'm leaving out,
like what they thought about you,

so you see,
each of these little groups,
we just pass each other on the street,
even when we didn't even meet,

it's human nature,
our natural order,
to insult each other,
some just get the really blunt edge.

maybe we should change how we think and act,
before we go wishing for things out of our knack's.
I just hate all of these things tbh.
Cat Fiske May 2015
A child thought,
my cuts,
where just from,
I went to work one day and I remember the little boy thought my cuts were from paper, and thought I was unlucky.
Cat Fiske May 2015
here lies all the coffee stains,
created while reading your *poetry,
this is about what happens when I try to eat or drink and read something really good or powerful on here, just saying, there's a lot of stains now *** there's a lot of good work.
Cat Fiske Nov 2015

­when I was a kid,
I used to color,

I used to color the whole page,
and outside of the lines,
like how out of the box I was,
you couldn't contain all of me in a box,
even if you had boxes,
I'd escape,
and break free,

When I was a kid,
I colored inside,
and outside of the lines,

while in school they told me how I was out of line,
I was far from out of line,
I always made sure I was inside the lines,
but sometimes,
sometimes its as if my imagination got the best of me,
and I got to escape there conforment,
even if it was for a second it felt so great,
as if I was in prison and I got to go outside for the first time in years,
my adventures in my head couldn't break through to the real world,
like reality came in and arrested my imagination,

when I was a kid,
I stopped coloring outside of the lines,
and only colored inside,

To feel like a square peg going into a round hole,
as they tried to shaped me into what the saw to be as standard,
shaving down my unique edges,
like it was a crime to be so different,
as if I saw them try to expand to fit my square ways of thinking,
not once had they thought it could work out better,
then lining the squares and triangles and hexagons and countless others up,
to get sanded down to be as close as they could make them to be to a circle,

I'm not a kid anymore,
I'm much older now,

I still color inside the lines,
to make my beautiful pictures,
and sometimes,
like when I was a child,
I color outside the lines,

*because sometimes no one has to know,
when you've made a masterpiece,
a poem about coloring
Cat Fiske Jul 2016
the bed is made,
the house is clean,
I don't sleep,
because your mean,

the door is shut,
the key is in your hand,
I am stuck inside,
inside your fantasy land,

our eyes are closed,
our thoughts are deep,
I open them,
and hear you weep,

your mind is lost,
my love is boundless
and we lay down together,
and are practically soundless.
Cat Fiske May 2015
I am a trying to fight myself,
someone who just wants to be right,
but is always wrong,
and what I know,
and what I feel,
are conflicting things,

Because I know how he cares for me,
But I still feel ***** with him,
I still want the boy who ***** me,
to ******* call me,
Like I've been waiting for,
for over a year,

But I love this boy who treats me well,
but I feel like I can't really,
love him,
Like I can't love anyone,
because someone went and ****** me when I really didn't want to,
and they called that love too,

so what the **** do I know about love,
because i've been so blind to it all,
Love from me since the **** has just been appreciations like friends,
and I am sorry that I have hurt you like a boy hurt me sweetie,
but I can't be loved,
and I don't want you to waste your time trying,

so maybe its best if we part ways,
because everyday I feel as if i'm holding you back,
because I am afraid for anymore impact,
because I just want my life back the way it was,
before I knew what **** and abuse was,
before my PTSD unlocked all the secrets from me.

having PTSD showed me,
No sweetie making love to boys,
isn't going to make you happy,
so I can't love someone else even if I willingly want to,
Because is it fair to any boy to be loving me and have me start crying,
because I feel like there the boy who ***** me,

but I know the boy who ***** me is bad,
but I feel like he is the only one who could love,
a mess like me,
because he made the mess,

I just want to feel safe around all guys,
I just want to feel loved,
And my mind and heart,
are a battleground over what I am supposed to do,
because it's hard to move on just a little over a year after you learned,

the boy you loved who you dumped ***** you,
and how your breakup had nothing to do with the ****,
and how that makes everything harder and complicated to get,
and you just are always upset because he still never called,
and you really want that phone call,
so you can say you're sorry,

because you just want to be happy,
because even though things with him were bad,
you were happy,
and you want that back,
instead of crying over the bad thing that happened in the past,
you just want something good again.
my problems
Cat Fiske Mar 2016
in the beginning, God created the heavens,
and as heaven had been created to God's liking,
God finally moved forward to his next plan,
creating the earth,

in the creation of the Earth,
the Earth existed as a wasteland,
full of darkness,
strong winds brushed up on the waters,

God looked at what had to be done to finnish earth,
and he saw the darkness the surrounded his new creation,
compared to the bright lights of his heaven,
and the darkness had a dull beauty of its own,

God said let there be light,
God then said let light be separated from the darkness.
God made the lights like his heavens the day,
and the darkness the night,

and as night fell on the first day,
morning followed,
then God looked down upon his creation,
as the bright lights of day made it possible to see,

God said, as he stared upon the winds and waters,
let water under the winds be swarmed into pits,
as the water drew away into the pits,
and God named the pits drawing the water away, the Sea.

land appeared, and God named the soil of the land, Earth.
He said for the Earth to bring forth Vegetation,
of fruits and trees as any plant with seed.
God saw how good it was,

as night fell, on the second day, morning soon came,
God looked at heaven,
as God plucked a piece of heaven from the sky,
and made them into two pieces of light.

God put the larger piece in the day sky,
and as night hit,
God placed the slightly smaller piece in the night,
God decided to make tiny stars to place to help the night.

the stars help to govern the day and the night,
to separate the light and darkness,
and God watched evening come, on the third day,
morning soon followed.

God saw how empty the pit called the Sea was,
God brought forth all kinds of creatures as God sent them to the sea,
God made all the creatures with wings and feathers to fly in his sky,
God finally made all kinds of animals, and creeping things, for his land,

God saw how good the creation was,
and evening came on the fourth day,
and morning soon followed,
as God stared over the earth,

and said, "let us make man in our image"
let man have control over the sea, air, and land,
let's give man control of the creatures of the Earth,
God created man and women,

and night fell, on the fifth day, and morning soon came,
God said, to man and women, "Be fertile, and multiple,
have ******* of the sea air and land,
See all the seed bearing plants I give to you,"

God looked at everything he had made,
and he found it very good,
Evening came on the sixth day,
and morning followed,

Thus the seventh day appeared,
heaven and earth were completed,
since god was Satisfied with his creations,
God rested, night fell, on the seventh day,

Easter related poem.
Cat Fiske Aug 2015
I didn't,
even though,
I wanted to,

I wanted to watch candles flicker and scabs form,
I wanted to see blood **** from were the light was so bright,
like nothing could be dark,

but the irony in what I wanted to do,
using light to create the darkness,
my simple candle will mimic the gods in the sun.

but my mind became that of a stronger one,
knowing the candle need not make my path darth,
and the candle acted as a godly sun,
the godliest of all,
the british one,

and I just felt over old burns and cuts,
and cried as one might,
in a the present of the brits sun god,

for even the queen herself would of cried if given her time.
but right now it's just me,
and the dark night.
idk just something
Cat Fiske Jun 2015
I feel nothing but dead,
with every ounce of strength left in my head,
so ******* **** me,

so my body,
can match how I've been feeling,

feeling that never seem to go away,
no matter how many petty wishes you make,
on stars and dreams you know in the end,

all are just ******* fakes,
but you still wish,

because sometime you hope and pray,
that one of these times,
that one ******* day,

you wish at the right moment,
and the **** you need happens,

but I still live by everything happens for a reasons,
so I am not supposed to cut my cord,
but you could cut it for me,

thats the loop hole,
in the death tolls system,
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