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Ankita Gupta Nov 2018
Let this one stay
Don't take it away
Maybe I got swayed
But it's part of the play
For to keep people astray
Your magical spells awaits
Showman walks another way
The audience is left to sit amazed
Go home, the show has to terminate
Take all with you, feelings and your case
When I sit spell bounded, thinking of the magician who just ran away.
cupid Nov 2018
i hate so much you referred to be as pretending
as if dressing me as who i am is wrong
as if my name is a lie
i have been pretending to be who you say i am for years
but now that i come clean
i am so angry that this is all only a big deal because you know now
none of it mattered before you got a call from my school
it was whatever before it was brought to your attention
i have felt this way everyday for years
i have been who i am for years
i don’t know how to tell you that you aren’t helping
that you aren’t being supportive
if this were a phase
or just the teenage fever idea of being who i’m not
it would be different
but your words feel like knives
you keep telling me that how i feel about you and my life makes you feel bad
but think that for my mentality to get to that point how did you make me feel
i know that everything is not about me
nothing is
this is all about you isn’t it
all the wasted time my wasted life is going to be
how you won’t let you kid be who he wants
how you would rather a daughter who feels robotic
a daughter that has no feelings
how you would rather your son pretend to be you daughter
you would rather your son feel disgusting and trapped
feel like an inconvenience
an annoyance
feel like all he will ever be is a burden
a misfit
you would rather i fake who i am
answer to the name you forced upon me
live up to not your standards but your expectations
i know you say otherwise but i cannot feel that you want anything than for me to be your picture perfect daughter
that i need to succeed and be what you wished you had been before anything else
before my dreams, my expression, my happiness
you are never ready to tell the person who raised you that you would rather disappear then feel the way you do
but you are ready to play pretend about it until you blow up
i am so ready to pick up and leave
cupid Nov 2018
my darkest places are not places but times and actions
memories, the places in my mind
my darkest places are filled with blood and invisible scars
full of unadulterated fear
crying, screaming, fights i got dragged out of
places i’ve lived that i don’t remember
my nightmares that i now reiterate into art
my darkest places are dulled colors and the endless blue sky
my darkest place are the crowded hall and classrooms of my old middle school
my darkest places are the most brightly lit
by a burning sun and the lights of cop cars
they do not have the loudest music but the loudest voices
the darkest places for so many of us
come from smiling because no one noticed your long sleeves
laughing when you have a breakdown
being stone-faced watching someone fall apart
the darkest places come from faking being okay
blood pooling on your wrists is a very very dark place
September Rose Jun 2018
Aghhhhhhhhhh
Why is everything so co.mpli.cated.
        Why is nothing how it should be

Nothing good lasts for ever
well it seems to me like nothing good lasts a ******* second

Everything is
Spiralling
Out
Of
Control
          
         Everything was good a week ago
    A month ago
    
Ok maybe not good but better

         Because this ******* life has
        given me the ******* lemons
And although I'm used to ***** lemonade
it's like life still enjoys pelting me with the leftover ones
      
          Until
        I want
    To disappear
Go away
Fear hurts.
No matter how happy I am, there is always fear.

When it’s dark at night, there is fear.
Fear crawls underneath the blanket with your beating heart.

When you eat an ice cream cone, there is fear.
Fear slides onto your tongue, along with the sweet, frozen cream, and makes its way down your throat.

When you squeeze a pillow, fear will be there,
refusing to exit your mind.

Fear, why won’t you exit my mind?
It never leaves me..

But fear is what keeps you going everyday.

When you climb a great pine tree,
you feel glad, happy, strong, though never fearless
for fear’s there lurking in the needles right there with you.

When the sweetest pitbull licks your face with it’s oh so soft tongue,
you fear that it will leave you.
When your phone rings,
you fear of who it is.

Fear makes me fearless

When you play, you still fear.
You don’t even know what you fear but
fear is everywhere.
It doesn’t make sense.
Fear doesn’t make sense.

Fear is fear.

When fear comes along
Fear is your best friend
Fear makes me dance.

When you love something,
you fear that it will go away.

You fear of yourself.
You fear of the world.

Fear comes to make life harder,
to make you sad,
to make you scared,
but your heart is full of joy so you just sit at the kitchen table,
eating donuts with a side of fear.

You may love fear, you drink it like it’s coffee,
but you hate fear even more.
I wrote this in a poetry class in 6th grade (hence why its so bad) before I realized I had loads of anxiety
Victoria Jun 2018
My body feels like bricks
Heavy, they give in
I try to get up
But it's so comfy, it's like a sin  

Leave me
Let me be
Turn me into a pile of stones
Not the fine kind of sand
But the ones that fill the ocean and land

Right now silence is comfort
It's both peaceful and nice
Let me be a pile of bricks
Travel to my paradise
Alone time matters too
Here I go again
Trying to sleep
But you won’t leave me alone

Why can’t you ever leave me alone?
Why can’t I forget that sometimes you exist?
Please just vanish
and everything will be better.

But will everything be better
when you do vanish?
Is it better for you to just disappear?

I guess I will never know.
This is an old poem from a few months ago. I only recently added something on here. I'm reading all of these poems and I'm really just getting so inspired.
jh Feb 2018
I make things harder than it needs to be.
Its like I enjoy the melancholic feeling every time I think of you
but I don't,
truth is,
I did this to myself,
I was the one who lit up the matches and watched them burn to the end;
flame touching my fingers,
the ever so burning sensation I get when I'm reminded that my own self sabotage let you go.
Its not enough though,
to go back to you.
Trust me when I say that the thing in life I wish I had the most right now would be you,
your hand in mine
but the feeling I get when you hand actually touches mine, the slightest bit, isn't what I expected.
I made it like this
I ruined such a perfectly good thing, and there's no way I'm getting it back.
- I wrote this in the past, and the next thing you know, We're back together and I don' know what to do with myself anymore.
Pastelblitz Feb 2018
You
You stood there and blamed it on me
I wanted to flee
But you said you were the key
So I agreed

I agreed to stay
But you led me astray
And to my dismay
It was foul play

You never cared
When I said I was scared
And you said that you repaired
So I declared

I declared to love you
But I slowly became blue
And I cut through
Like it was a stage cue

I cut through my thighs
And you maximized
My mind’s disorganize

You did nothing to help
You let me make whelps
That made me yelp

Your fake love
Made me think I was unworthy of

everything
Get out of my head please
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