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all around me

they're   n o t h i n g
NOTHING you say

echoes in my brain

and they're  n o w h e r e
NOWHERE you say

echoes in my brain

So  w h y
WHY I ask

why are they everything and everywhere?

Fears created by years and years of trauma and abuse and manipulation. Triggered by the smallest thing.
I’m sorry.
The Vault Sep 4
I am exhausted.
Mentally and physically
Sore to the bone
And wanting sleep.
No work for me today
No care for my grades
I just want sleep
To make this exhaustion go away.
CautiousRain Jul 23
It’s a trigger, I think.

I’ve had a talk like that one
a million times
in three voices, two men, one woman,
in my many nightmares,
in my day to day living,
I’ve heard that one too many times.

A swirling tunnel,
a downcast drain, flushing
twisting impressions
of time and space, corrupted
in their voices
in my ears
and I think, surely,
that had to be a trigger.
rest in pieces my sanity
[When do you write?]

I sense the vibes
What need to be
In exquisite way
It happens

Other time
I feel heavy
To carry what is inside
Let it out
To release the weight
It happens

One needs to believe
As a comfort zone
Genre: Experimental
Theme: Human emotions
They come out of nowhere
And can be as simple as a word
Intrusive, flashing voices
Who refuse not to be heard

These opinions with biased force
Keep ringing in my ears
Burning through my retinas
And searing their mark upon my fears

Like a thousand prickling itches
That cannot be soothed by a scratch
Stifling does not contain them
They constantly find new ways of attack

The mind is a delicate balance
Of inner and outer cues
A slight shift can cause a deafening
Where clear thoughts spiral to confused
Triggers are afflictions that come out of nowhere, and "set up shop" within the minds of even the most stoic individuals...Proof Positive that no one truly knows what others struggle with; and that appearances can definitely be deceiving!
Brielle Bishop Jul 2018
When dealing with feral animals
It is important to note
Strays are far different
Take a feral cat, for example;
Their trust is almost impossible
To gain
Strays were once pets
Doted on
Yet lost or abandoned
Individuals advise you set
A Trap
For Untamed animals
Pay special attention to
Behaviors and Appearances
But refuse to release them, misunderstood
Not acknowledging the dangers
Cowering in blood stained bathrooms
Dust collecting for a moment
Only to cloud the air
Once the door
And the Body
Are broken down
Loud noises,
The raising of voices
May cause the animal
To further isolate itself
Leading to comments that belittle
Wishing Death
Upon Innocence
Another hole in the drywall
Stupidity, ignorance
Not capable of existing
"As you should,"
"Failing" at understanding
Your place as a timid feline
In a man's home

The trouble with certain
Humans is
They're far more animalistic
At their cores.
Kellin May 2018
Like a lion getting ready to  devour its last meal your eyes graze my skin like sand paper. Like we were some sick science experiment. Palms twitching, hungry eyes, sadist smile. A priviledge you said. Love did always make me stupid and alas, she still was under the delusion she loved you more. So with your yellow eyes and teeth just as so you raught your way into yielding flesh because no wasn't in your vocabulary. So how dare you think that you can fall asleep with that smirk as you extrude me from her so you can take and take what's wasn't yours. And now  it's not fair, I shouldn't have to beg for a love that wouldn't come for your sick benefit I shouldn't have begged at all but we all knew it was just lust. And ******* both for how I feel now, inferno under my skin when real love wants me, for this intense incertitude chaos that fills my brain when real love says no. But little does she know how much damage both of you caused. But it was my own fault right? I did to myself. At least that's what you had me believe.
Ellyn k Thaiden Apr 2018
I can't sleep
Surrounded in shadows
The A/C hums and
Moonlight slips in through broken blinds
The shows about to begin

The blankets tangle around my legs
My body tosses left and right
Incapable of ignoring the voices
These memories
They shuffle through my head
Intruding my dreams
Invading my thoughts

I can't sleep
Films featuring fear race through my head
Each one a perfect cut
Of moments in my life where
I was no longer in control
Moments when I was helpless
Moments where I am trapped
Simply a bystander to my own life

Suddenly a new scene appears
Taking off it's long worn
Camouflage that is used to hide
Right in between all the other
Ghastly happenings of my life

I can't sleep
I stare at the stars on my ceiling
Feel myself drift off into space
So far away

This memory is new and it hurts more
Than when it first happened

I can't make it stop
The voices won't stay quiet
It won't stop playing in my mind
The film is ******* endless

I can't sleep
This is about intrusive thoughts and PTSD. And how sometimes you don't remember something right after it happened. Not till years later... Written during a fast at 3 at night so sorry if nothing makes sense rn.
Alana Cartwright Jan 2018
I remember you as a dark figure, looming over me.
My repetition of "no" and "stop" was eventually absorbed into the background noise, ignored- As if I was not present to you, only my body.
Something about the way you overpowered me, until I had nothing left,
You stripped away every remnant of my worth.

Lifeless, with a broken heart, was how you left me.
You touched down in the banks of my hollowed soul,
Like an earthquake, shattered me down to my core.
Everything I built myself upon crumbled, and I was 6 feet underneath the rubble.
That was the last of me, the beginning of my end.

I lacked strength to face this reality, hiding from it instead.
Consumed by destructive habits to fill an ever-growing hole in my heart, I lost myself in a spiraling dark hole.

At the bottom of that hole, I with nothing left, surrendered myself to the One capable of healing.
After a long road of war waged on my soul, peace replaced my hopelessness.
The reality I hid from by using destructive habits to fill an ever growing void, I now face with a full heart, lifted on wings of praise by the Lord's grace.
My loss of self value was redeemed by faith. The scars on my heart, now bandaged, serve as a testimony to the power of God's healing.

Where I was once a slave to my grief, I have been liberated. Where my soul was once lost, has been found.
Written in response to a recent trigger of suppressed memories. Before publishing, I revisited this piece several times contemplating why I was writing it. Two years ago I was introduced to *** by ****, and it stripped me of everything. I've learned, sometimes some weeds have deeper roots than you expect, and occasionally they will sprout up in times you least expect. By the grace of God I have grown to be stronger because of it, but only because I rely on His strength above my own.
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