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Mark Toney Aug 8

Practicing mindfullness
on my high-rise roof
I notice you across the street on
your balcony seemingly aloof
listening to vintage Carly Simon
          "... you say we can keep our love alive"

You stare my way and energetically waive
          "Babe all I know is what I see"

I hesitate, smile and then return the gesture
          "The couples cling and claw"

As if on cue you stand and press against the railing
         "and drown in love's debris"

Still smiling as my heart beats faster
          "... we'll soar like two birds through the clouds"

"What's your name?" you playfully cry out
          "But soon you'll cage me on your shelf"

"Who wants to know?" is my surprising reply
          "I'll never learn to be just me first by myself"

Suddenly flashbacks hijack my thinking
          "... it's time we moved in together
          and raised a family of our own, you and me"
Why is this happening?  Why am I sinking?
          "... that's the way I've always heard it should be
          you want to marry me, we’ll marry"

I hear your beseeching, unintelligible shouts as I retreat
Painful memories open like an oubliette under my feet—
            ­                 n

Lost and languishing in isolation's inner prison

© 2020 by Mark Toney. All rights reserved.
8/8/2020 - Poetry form: Narrative - Italicized lyrics from the song “That’s the Way I’ve Always heard It Should Be” (1971) written by Carly Simon and Jacob Brackman - © 2020 by Mark Toney. All rights reserved.
Where are the source of your thoughts
Contesting emotional triggers
Consider those eyelids to flicker
Additional context adds stress
As different paths stretch us apart
Sleep deep within these sheets

Another drill to overcome
The next hurdle and then some
Distracted by less with
small progressive steps

A learning tool for all
Dig away at the molehills
Digress with flexed biceps
Reminded to incorporate rest
(@PoeticTetra - instagram/twitter)
kennedy Jun 30
Confrontations of candor
Bittersweet release
Relentless ghosts whisper
“The devil is in the details”

Chemical haze; colored sands of stark contrast
I can’t seem to sift through
Tight grips
White knuckled grasping
It runs through my fingertips regardless

A heart stitched together with scar tissue
Thick, white lines etched carefully on thighs
If my heart grows
Will I find stretch marks there, too?

Silky smooth tracing
With bony fingertips
The birth of fresh skin cells
Each year more and more
Skin dissolves into dust from before
It runs through my fingertips regardless

The girl with the protruding rib cage
With fire just behind
Blue-green, ever-shifting eyes
She branded passion into her arms
With a lit cigarette

Eyes that only saw black or white
Torment suffered red
Pain inflicted blue
Fused into monochrome shades of slate

Digging up her grave
Clawing at the dirt and sand
Until blood runs down soft hands
Struggling to separate the two
Dry, dry sand
It slips through my fingertips regardless
ibkreator Jun 15
who hurt you most
be muses to the soul

pressing  buttons
you be wearing
of an un-declaring
milkweedangel Apr 29
restless, anxious
i realized lying down was useless
reading, i decided
could be a good escape
from this squeezing panic

but when i opened the book
hurting, falling
i started to cry.

but it wasn't sad
i hadn't been sad
i think

i thought

i don't know where these tears
are coming from
or why

i just
put the book back.
and lean against my bed

why does everything hurt lately?
i don't know what memories the book triggered, there was nothing in my head. the reasons behind my emotions have become so detached and distant lately
Hennessy 5260 Apr 24
I'm okay
Really I am
I'm over it
I can talk about it without shedding a tear
I can move on without fear

Have I forgiven him?
We laugh and talk most times than not
The scars lay dormant
Then a whisper
The scars are scratched
Wounds reopened
I relive the nightmare

Then comes the shadow
Of pain and uncertainty
Conflicting emotions
Thirst for peace and vengeance

It seems my demons follow me
And no matter how much I try
I can't escape them
For the triggers are my shadow
And they're never far behind.
Are you really over something if you still get triggers?
Janelle Tanguin Nov 2019
Absence is a strange occurence,
a shapeshifter manifesting
in the most trivial things.
A presence where there is none.
Something never entirely gone.
Makenzie Marie Sep 2019
Fears created by years and years of trauma and abuse and manipulation. Triggered by the smallest thing.
I’m sorry.
The Vault Sep 2019
I am exhausted.
Mentally and physically
Sore to the bone
And wanting sleep.
No work for me today
No care for my grades
I just want sleep
To make this exhaustion go away.
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