I'm falling slowly Deeper into madness Becoming obsessive Crazed with feelings of insecurity I want to ***** the happiness that I have injected into my veins Can I cry? I hate seeing myself this way I hate seeing myself Can I cry? Because I want to be free from the shackles That bound me to this Earth
he cooly walks down the hallway long strides with hands tucked in pockets only he knows what’s to come he takes off his rings before he reaches the bathroom tucks them and his right wrist bracelet away his left side bracelets cover pale cuts he won’t take them off click the hollow lock slides shut on the stall his fingertips leave a weird taste at the back of his throat he spits into the porcelain and water in front of him not enough when he presses into his throat his body revolts it’s disgusted, it panics you’re shaking tears form in his eyes and he tries again gags and throws up it’s sweet like the iced coffee he drank it burns like his morning showers he leaves to wash his hands he spits into the sink before walking away like nothing happened his stomach hurts he still walks with utmost confidence he’s empty inside he slips back into his desk and chews cinnamon gum he regrets what he did and can’t wait to do it again he’s a real unfortunate story
patawad sa mahal kong akala ko'y lumisan na sa paggunaw ng kaisipan sa mga bagay na pinipilit nitong takbuhan ngunit bumubulong ang puso gamit ang lirikong tayo lang ang nakaiintindi – mababalikan pa ba ang ritmong ito o mananatili na lamang sa kasalukuyang pintig?
sometimes i just want to ***** i feel like not myself and get sick to my stomach and hot showers make me queasy sometimes i get cookies from the vending machine they make me want to puke food and apple juice make me want to empty my guts seeing myself makes my insides bubble it’s odd how many things make me want to throw up
Late night playing with a fake gun Pointer finger married to the middle one Latched to the side of my head I let out a whisper through my teeth As clenched as the fist on my chest I let out a whisper through my lips They shiver with the thought of death I'm scared but sometimes I want to do it I often pick fight with myself Not knowing which side wants to win I click one-two and hold my breath Shake as I ***** all the ***** into the sink And shake off the ***** and sink to my bed
Fills you up with carrion, And leaves you to marinate, Merely Marionetting movements, Jerky and unfamiliar with the phlegm thick, Cement heavy, Consistency of your limbs, Tires you out, Until you sit a screen zombie, Nonplused, Having your scalp pulled back and skull Cracked, Like a jaw breaker
the whirr of the fan, a flash of green in my belly button, comic books on the nightstand, they might stand for real, the way you steal a glimpse while we're all laughing at nothing, the pause when we sit in your car after hanging with our friends, circles the rain makes in puddles, rapid yet placid, the subtle way you brush my hair away when it tickles you, while i'm tucked under arm; a fond pillow, when i curl up alone knotted in my sheets, slipping my cold feet in the crooks of my legs to warm, the only song that's been my alarm since you, these are the things that make me miss you.
hate to *****. can’t stand the protest of an upset stomach, the heave of bile and undigested food, the carve of acid in the esophagus. okay, i don’t like that part much myself. but i do like the cool porcelain on my face, the solid of tile beneath my ****. most of all, i like my belly emptied, even temporarily, of food. of fat. of pain.