One sentence I heard so much from you was
"I don't know, dude.
I'm confused.
Those are problems I've had since long before we date.
I need a break."

But then, how long?
How long for you to fall in love again?
A few days?

How long before you understand what's wrong?
20 years? More?

How long to hold onto something until
you realize it was not real?
3 years? Or you didn't realize it still?

I remember when i was a kid i had a power rangers mech toy
It would stand mighty at 2 ft. Tall and i absolutely worshipped it.
It was but a cheap plastic toy but to my young and impressionable eyes it was everything
Cheap joints were to me freedom,legs... The courage to move forward with my life
Its cheaply made speakers that was drenched in white noice. A voice
I remember it all and even as an adult i miss my toy
It was taken and thrown away without my consent or approval
Many nights passed were spent crying with no success in sight
Now here i am as an adult but just as lost and confused as i was as a child
If there is anything i want to tell you, it is that you are not a toy
But i am still as desperate as ever to recover what i have lost
Sobbing and crying alone like a child.

You got me feeling
Like a kid again
****** stomach feelings
I've dated alot before
And i know how to talk
But with you
It's weird
New
I don't know what to say
Nor what to do
Am awkward all over again
Happy from the tinest
Stupidest things
Legs touching
And am on cloud 9
How did i change so fast
With you
For you
But again
I will always
Backoff
Afraid
To lose myself
Or you
Afraid
Am not what you want

The Snell Test tells
Of the power of thy eye
And the sphygmo speaks
Of the depth of thy sigh.
The thermo utters
Of thy body's heat
And the BMI flutters
Of the nature of thy eat.
But little did you know
Amidst the signs that glow
How my poems ****
Of the wonder thy heart.

The stick stands still
To apprise thy height
And the balance lies still
To narrate thy weight.
The banks never went sank
To estimate thy wealth
And the clinics never went sick
To illustrate thy health.
But little did you know
Amidst the hints that glow
How my poems unfold
The measure of thy worth.

A mosquito chomped me!
It hurt, so I got mad at it.
I shooed and swatted it away,
over and over again,
but it wouldn't leave!

Minute after minute
Swat after swat
Mr. Mosquito went splat
And a small wave of victory overcame my hurt.
Small.

The chomp was still there
but the mosquito wasn't
Did my revenge really make a difference?

Does it burden you to say
that you can barely measure the length of your tongue?

I wasn't here out of my own volition.
We're just literally bound by blood.

So...

Here's your free pass.
You can frolic all you'd like.
For the six quintillionth time,
Here's your pass.

It's not like most people reap what is sown.

At least I have my sanctum residing here.

I don't know what I'd do if you stepped inside.

Days were short, but nights were long
While I was with you, I drew my dreams in crayon
Messy sketches, missing puzzle pieces
But adding you, it felt like it was coming along

It didn’t matter if the sun was asleep
We danced in the dark like we could still see

Sweaters on cold nights and warm talks that seemed to last forever
Undercovered from the after-rain at coffee shops
Walks that were in summery weather
Always waiting by the max station by the Moda Center
Our destination didn't matter, we were on an adventure

The night was young and so was our love
Memories were long, but moments were short
I feel childish to hold on
This is why my dreams are still in crayon.

1 Corithians 13:7-8