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Austen girl Jul 4
I love the smell of that oil
the one I rub in your hair
the one that clings to my hands
and to my skin
slowly seeping in
I can almost hear it.....
nestle in my molecules
becoming
becoming you.

I love the sound of that door
the one that scrapes
on the hardwood floor
the one that announces me
and lets me in slow..ly
I can almost see it
lodging in my brain.
becoming,
becoming you.

I love the taste of that lavender
the one that we killed...
the one that clung to your breath
and to your fingertips
delicate
I can almost smell it
settle in my bones...
becoming,
becoming you.
Zane Smith Apr 30
all the time.
The night I let myself
love you entirely.
The way my brain
broke down from resistance
to the time left.
I've never FELT
that out of body.
Sophie Hartl Dec 2020
officially it has been two years,
unofficially one.

I am happier elsewhere, and I can imagine you are too
still you remain
my inspiration for poetry,
art,
and my thoughts.

when I see her there with you,
I am not sad,
and I am not not happy
mostly, I wonder β€”

do you think about me still?
do you compare her to me?
I did, I compared him with you

even though I promised to him and myself
that I wouldn’t

but the mind does what it wants

do you fight like we used to, loud and aggressive?
or does that require years of confidence built up by baby love

do you love like we used to, admittedly & comparatively selfish and shy?
or was that our teenage bodies remaining in us past our 20th

mostly I try to remember how being freshly loved by you was
so much intense frustration, in all ways,
endless giggles, but often nights with dawn sorrow.
of course, I need to remind myself that there was bad
my mind tries to only highlight the good with you

mostly I wonder how such intense fighters
could turn to such formal friends
and mostly, I am disappointed that you haven’t
told me about her yet.
an old goldie
Sacha Sep 2020
You’re down
an acceptable amount of pleasure
I close my eyes
I’m in the moment

I drift

I’m not here
It’s not you
Now I feel
The one that was before

I feel him
I smell him
I see the light
I hear the street

I miss your taste
Your thoughts
Your words
I miss the moments after

I’m back

Did you notice
I’ve been on autopilot?
anna May 2020
There lies the abandoned park bench
We sat there a year ago

Now stained with infinite dust, rain
Pouring torrents of strange anger and

Pulsing sorrow- a heaving chest
Rising and falling , tide like crest

Certain gravity to the fall, to the fallen
(pun unintended)
Unceasing in releasing;

Dusk, dawn
Fall , rise
Black, white

Just universal polarity like
The one between you and me.

A hand to hold, a smile to crave,
A heart to feel, a love to cherish;

All now lies washed down
Dust in the rain
Solitary drops now remain.
An old feeling crept up on me.
colette alexia Mar 2020
Brown hair
I miss when you cared
3/31/2020
In another universe we would have been soul mates, and in another we would have been best friends. Now we are neither. Just fading memories and that's okay. But sometimes I need you not to love or make love to but simply to talk to. You knew me more than anyone else. Even on the days you didn't quite love me. Maybe you could tell me what my heart wanted right now because my love life feels like a disaster. It's painful and exciting all at once and for all the wrong reasons. And I wish you were sitting next to me telling me exactly what I want. So I could disagree only to discover you were always right. That's how we worked. Or maybe that's how we fell apart. All I know now is that I don't love you anymore and that's the most liberating feeling I have ever truly known. I was trapped in this vortex of you. The one where I was determined to have you. And the problem is, the man who pulled me out of the vortex is no longer the same man making me happy. He's no longer the one making my heart twinge the way it use to for you all those years ago. But I'm wearing a ring I made engraved with forever. I'm trying to fall in love again. Because I loved him so much I swear. And I wonder if this is how you felt when we ended. When I would come over and crawl into your bed. I wonder if you tried to fall in love with me again the way I hope I fall in love with him again. And I want it known I do love him but I want to be in love. He makes me smile. But sometimes he makes me cry. Sometimes he makes me really hate myself. And I know I can be a sensitive person but I don't think he quite sees how his words break me sometimes. I want to choose him. I do. I want to say that one day too; I do. But here I am with this twinge in my heart that I'm trying to bury or force away. I tried that with you. I did. But I still ended up loving you nine long years. Tell me first love of mine. How do I say goodbye before I've said hello? How can I choose him? Because the love in his eyes remind me so much of the love I had in mine for you once upon a time.
Blxvkroseee Feb 2020
I never thought that the person i fell in love with the most would bring me to my worst, I never thought that I would be up at 2am asking myself questions that ill never have the answer to. I never thought I would not let anyone love me because I'm afraid to let them in , so I find ways to sabotage potential lovers because I say " they were gonna leave anyway". But most importantly I never thought that 3 years later I would still think of you and wonder if you think of me too. I just wonder if your mistakes finally catched up to you. I wonder if you lose your words when someone mentions my name. I wonder if you feel lonely when you look into her eyes because her color aren't the color of mine. I forgave you a while back. I just don't think I ever forgave myself for loving you the way I deserved to be loved , I don't think I forgave myself for all the nights that I cried myself to sleep because sleeping felt so much better than having to feel the emptiness you caused when you left. I shouldn't think about you; they said. its no "good" for you. But they don't understand that I don't choose when our favorite song comes on the radio, they don't understand that certain things trigger my memory of you. Cant they understand that pain and heartbreak does that to you? I don't get to choose the day that I will never think of you again...…..
Sarah Delaney Jan 2020
How does one fall out of love with someone who was once their entire world?
There was once a time I saw my future with you,
Traveling the world, having kids, eventually having grandkids running around our house.
Now I look at you and all I see is someone I do not know.
You used to be so sweet,
But this world has made you cruel.
I used to think I could never spend the rest of my life without you,
But now I see I cannot go on living like this.
All we are is strangers now.
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