If I could step into your mind
I’d rearrange your thoughts
I’d plant a garden there
Let the smell of flowers
Fill your nose, clear the air
I could be your stream
Could be the angel
In your dream
If you just opened up a little
Let me into your head
I could clear a path for you
That’s safe for you to tread

i met Sharon buying christmas trees
for a four bedroom house
full of college boys
that could barely afford to eat.

she said my name's Sharon
and im here to help you
make sure you don't split
these trees in half.

i barely caught a word
that Sharon said
got too busy
dancing in her eyes.

she smiled a bit and said
lets move along,
im sure we've got some trees left
that youll want to take home

i swear to god
it was the most beautiful thing,
she cut the whole tree down
before i could blink

she laughed and turned to me
and said that should do
i said theres no way in hell
i leave here without your name

she said my name's Sharon
and i already told you that.
but we can talk about that later
if you want.

Wow. For once I feel hate for someone who doesn't live inside my head. You disgrace to humanity. She tells me that she can't be love because of you. You have scarred her, you have hurt her. All of you have. You tore her apart and when she had nothing left to give, you left her. Because you told her you loved her, then left her alone, she doesn't believe me when I say it. She actually trusted you. Now she thinks I'm lying whenever I tell her I love her, she thinks I'm delusional because I want to spend every last moment I have here with her. She thinks all I want to do is use her and leave her. She hurts herself because, because pain is the only thing that makes her feel comfortable. It's because of you. If I ever find you. I won't hold back. I'm psychotic, I love it when I can hurt someone. And you've given me one hell of a reason to.

don't hand in,
anything  ever written,
during a* **panic attack.

I wanna hear you knock at my door
I'll let you in I promise
Just say the magic words and step through
Trust me and let yourself go
Tell me what you feel
Tell me your ambitions
Tell me anything and everything
Pour your heart out to me
And I will listen to every word of it
And I will never judge I promise
Hold on to me I have nothing else to offer.
I have nowhere else to be
Trust me and let go.

~I'm not always so down,
I will be better tomorrow,
I won't crack a frown.
I'll be out of my sorrow.~

I deal with problems
In a funny way
and maybe it's because I'm selfish but
My own problems
devour me
If someone I care about
"Burdens" me (as they would say)
with their problems
It sort of drowns out my problems
Which is a good thing
Because no matter how loud I scream
No matter if I have shrieked in terror, loathing, and misery
Until my throat is raw
At my problems
I. Can. Still. HEAR. THEM.
But to hear of someone else’s life
That is far worse than I could ever imagine
It drowns out those voices in my head
…but last time
I didn’t handle it well.
That was my fault
I should have been trustworthy enough
Not to make it worse
I should have been a good friend
But I WASN’T! I KEPT HER COMPANY IN HER PRISON CELL, THE ONE SHE CALLS HER MIND
AND THAT WAS MY FAULT I WILL NEVER EVER FORGIVE MYSELF FOR THAT
I should have anchored myself to the shore
And kept her alive, and above the surface
In the light
But I didn’t
I just drowned with her
Down in the darkest depths
I just dragged her down farther
And I will admit
At the moment
I am not on shore
But I am not in an ocean, like her
I am treading water
In the nearest lake
And after last time, I don’t blame her for a second for not telling me
I don’t deserve to be trusted
But last time we were both in the ocean
I think I just have trouble handling it when we are both in the same type of trouble
This time
I am just struggling to stay afloat in a lake
Lakes are nice
Less of a big deal
I’m fine
Really
I will have good days and bad days in this lake
But really, I’m fine
Now that she has trusted me enough
To tell me her problems
If she is in an ocean
And I am in a lake
There is a stretch of land between us
If knowledge of secrets are chains
Running from her, to shore, to me
Then maybe I can help to keep her afloat this time
I will keep her afloat this time
I promise I will
I hope that she can trust me enough
From now on
To tell me her problems
Because this time is different
There is always potential
For it to get dark again
But that is only
If I learned absolutely nothing from last time
And I promise I certainly learned a lot
I can handle it
It hurts me far, far more
To not know what is bringing her down
It breaks my heart to think
She is afraid to dump all her problems on me
Because I want her to dump all her problems on me
It drowns out my own
And it makes me aware
And I just want to help her
I really just want to help her
Not like last time
I want another chance
To be trusted with everything
The way it used to be
To be trusted with all of the burdens
Because this time
I won’t ***** it up
I won’t let the burden crush me too
It’s like if someone hands you 30 pounds
You might fall if you weren’t expecting it
But this time
I know to expect it and how to not let it crush me
Please
I just want to be trusted
To have learned enough not to let it just get dark again between us
I want to be trusted with all the burdens
Because I can take it
It won’t  trigger me
I understand if you keep things from me
And I will never be angry with you for it
But it hurts me so much more
Not to know
Please trust me again.
Please.