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CAL Oct 15
the only high that i need
is lips on mine
and feeling terrible
messing around
feeling my (real) feelings leave
while smoke and caffeine put my mind in a bubble
i was sober.
Avis Green Sep 20
Have you seen the downcast faces
fraternized with the loathed ******?

Look behind you,
You owned the shadow of facade
That moves between the surface of falsity
with the light of profound verity.

Can you see the similarities
Of the downcast and *****?
Or can you recognize yourself,
Together with those words?
In a mess, I awake to the feeling
I didn’t do it,
so I puke and I crawl and I drink
just to do it all again.
At night, I am needlessly obsessive in
wasting time,
only maudlin with alcohol stained tears
alone in a bathroom stall.
In the harsh darkness, my shadow falls
to its knees
reckless and voluntarily debauched
can’t stop the sins from slipping out.
At times, I have discovered myself
to be obscene
so I scream instead of honeyed whispering
begging for the familiar collapse.
Crazed, I shake my hair out and leave
before you notice,
walking like a shameless heretic
to find the next version of myself.
For a moment, I twist and turn sour
in your mouth,
and if you thought kissing me would save me,
you were wrong.
Behold the Man who goes to see
The New Creation then set free
The place no sins or sorrows grow
The Promised Land to come aglow

Oh flee the gates of Babylon!
The ***** who feeds on her own spawn...
May Zion be your heav’nly home
The City where true lovers roam

.
I am a freak of nature
I am control
I am the silence in your voice
When you can't seem to hold
I am the one you push around
Just like a *****
I am the one
You keep begging for more
I am control

All these words
Running through back of my mind
Leave me alone
No I can't stand on my own

Start to humiliate you?
You're acting like you're the only one
With what you've been through
Leave me alone
I will stand on my own

All I am is a **** burden
Then why am I not forgotten?
Calling me just to ******* argue!
Did I disappoint you?
And let you down
You can't even grasp with what I've been through
Leave me alone
No more talking
Through back of my mind!

I'll lead you where you want to go
I'll never let you loose control
I am control!

You made me this way
And I couldn't stay away
Or did I choose to be this way?
Either way
I am my biggest ******* mistake
Mr. Self Destruct!
those endless words that control you...I am my own demise!
I'M A FULL TIME *****.
A ******* *****.
A WORTHLESS PIG WITH NOTHING IN STORE.
NO SURPRISES,
NO LIFE,
NO MORE.
I HAVE NOTHING.
I AM A FULL TIME NOTHINGLESS *****.
For: Huxley Densen, Jenny Thoma
Ron Gavalik Dec 2019
I’m a *****
who sells himself
for the privilege of food.
Existing in your world
of surface beauty
and splendor,
that’s the only payday
I’ve ever known.

–Ron Gavalik
Orchid T Aspen Dec 2019
flocks penetrated his barrier
to inspect his rot
when it sank down
beneath the salt
lowly
in the slowing dark,

>° °<

called him back with sirens
and suggestion,
danced in vibrant twisters
to entice him
before he could drown,

>° °<

fled from each cavern
in shock,
begged for his spreading mane
to weave in,

>° °<

fed on the youth
spinning around him,
spat jets at his limbs,

>° °<

held hope out just for him,
but there was nothing to be saved

° °

from the abyssal plain.
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