Sometimes, the people who make
The best actors work at
High salary jobs, usually
Being a "too good to be true" success,
Forget about being who you are,
And you can make a whole lot,
But you lose a part of yourself
In the process...

Who cares! It was all worth it,
Hunny bunny!

Clearly I recall
the value "it" already made
for me so I know.

Where the road ends and meets the future
I shall be here at the burnt out screen cross point,
Even when all breaks apart and you have no one
I will be there to keep a well lit joint!
If you are somewhere else and this is bothering you
Somehow, that I am OK with ****, grow up dipstick,
It's past the year 2015,
It's lately been OK with that stuff now.
Growing up fast on this big kid playground,
You throw a stick and it lands a gun on the ground,
Where it's totally uncool to be part of BLM,
But confederate flags, statues, Dukes,
And "privileged" are the new trend.
That's just how we all grew up fast all around!
On this endlessly changing, re-arranging
Educating, violent, strange place Mom, Dad, you-and-I roam,
This special little USA place full of haters we all call home.

I normally like to write poetry
When someone just might read,
I normally like to feel wanted
When all I really do is dream.
So who cares what I think,
This poem will be short lived,
But that is because I guess we all
Know I STINK...

Well, I guess for this poem I deserve an E!

Emotions, words, ideas, feelings*
We live in a time period where
We shoot ourselves in the foot
Stating how a person feels.
This is it, we are all being mind
Controlled, forced into trusting
That everyone is perfectly fine.
This is your life now, if you don't
Feel everything is fine, you're
Completely out of line...
Good luck finding what is left of
Your actual rights, even in your heart.
They were on it right from the start,
When being in charge of your life
Meant saying what you don't believe,
Because you're no longer needed
So long as you are not what they
Now perceive as a beautiful thing
Because you don't fit in with the public's
Current popular day dream.

Sell out-and you will be a big "success,"
Don't want to become a living lie...? Goodbye...

I have never tried harder in my life
Just to accomplish the so-called "easy,"
This world is so full of hate and violence,
Why can't we ever believe in making things
The way that they are meant to be?

I've been doing the same things for years
I guess I still **** at "easy,"
I guess I wasted all of my years it seems,
Losing so much now, or they just want to
"Easily" overshadow you and me.

If you read it from the ******* book it's
"True," not just for you, for me for everybody,
We're all just here to waste, make our own sole filthy space,
What you believe is always "truth for everyone" and not just you.
No matter what we say or think or feel or know or do.

The past
It's always on my mind
The grassy backyard I grew up in
This and that-memories of
Halloween, rabbits, fall, you.
All the things that pass in time.
I pick up this notion that
One may recall what happened to
Them when they were a young kid.
The balloons touching the ceiling of
My pre-school, the quiet time when
We supposedly slept but never did.
Like the color yellow, how I loved it,
The '89 earthquake, being shocked by it.
Songs in Kindergarten. Art, pictures, music.
Summer camp, exploring the wild, love, light,
And wind. I remember my brother
And I playing tag as the sun went
Down in the first house I moved in.
Running along the fields in the day,
Swimming, or memories of the
Tumbleweeds performance,
Being In the play.
All of the times I would always
Watch the sun on the swing as it rose
In the morning. I remember the vast
Wheat fields, a sense of calm quiet,
As if there were no place more peaceful.
Climbing my favorite pine tree in my back yard.
But one thing I remember more than ever
Was being on a field of my own.
The sky is filled with clouds always
Floating off like they
Were from an endless world of tranquility,
This warm sun, this was and-I forever remember
It to be-my one true home.

But that is another story...

Always the flow of water-across muddy banks and
Passages into lakes filled with the essence of nature,
Pulling tides and the smell of alpine, hickory wood and
firn. Always the flow of life-ever passive, trance state,
Picking up speed it rushes, like the sound of blood rushing
Through the earths veins, towards endless vinyards and orchards,
Cascading over cliffs like sparkling mist, into ravines and it continues
On. Into the forest, into the pines and the sage brush-not thinking,
Quick to find solace in this mid-morning dew, this canopy, deer hide.
Continue to be cloaked by the grass and thistle, branches and vines,
Not stopping, ever residing in it-never looking back until reaching that
One point where it is certain that the past concrete, cement and steel,
Are but a thing of memories of tragic times to be kept so forever, never
Looking back, never to return or see them again until the very world ends.

Always the tide of stream water, endless in the universe, it's strength,
And it's endless source, that source, from which all life flows...

Playing piano, it's like I have a treasure chest,
each time I hit a note it resonates
like unto a sparkling jewel in glittering crest.
If I had a song I could write that could
reveal and unravel, your true feelings expressed,
I would play it for you in these endless depths.
Surrounded by fear, loss and by worry,
You've left me in the endless circling spin,
I'm floating in an empty abyss, no hurry.
But one day when you find me in the dark,
hopefully there is enough light from a fading
chord that will grant you one last spark.

The glistening notes continue to play out forever in
the glittering starlit skies, accompanied by natural
hues, white gold moon, eyes, and darkness in disguise.

To be here, to be out of sight,
Until dawn comes, you blacken my sky,
You know that this is just another
Sad song, a "useless poem" of pain,
Another "lie," another somber "waste of space."

Well there is "hope" at the end of my tunnel,
Or is there? I gave up on this poem and that,
It all came out sad...much like the darkened
truth of my well worn path. This is the end,
Then there might just be you (my friend?)

No such thing as the word of peace,
This is it, will I wander out into the blank,
And pretend I can make it a simple world of
Joy, because that is what makes people clap?
Sorry, but I guess I had to be sarcastic,
This mouth of mine that always must flap.

*When was there a time when my peers didn't
Always get mad? It's become a common place truth,
I have no actual friends, gone my days of
Wild care-free youth, even school wasn't as
Bad as having to somehow live with you.

A feeling, a thought, an idea,
Asking only what I must feel,
There is nothing here that's real.
This is the vague truth of my life,
Continue on like I never heal.

This is how everything always ends,
I hated to bring you down, your world,
Between the sips of a cold blue drink
On some hidden island with **** girls.

You can always live my dream,
I get the lonely stuffy room and plain meals,
Combined with the fact that they still
Aren't any consolation to how I feel.

And those who either romanticize it,
Those who won't share any space with me,
Or for those who want me to be a disgrace,
Those who want me to disappear someplace.

You're the one who brought me down,
Was it fun? Do you still get feelings of
Happy-go-lucky hate fuel watching me
Drowned? It'll end bad-when you're still around.

You'll be seeing stars for a long time.

*Just watch as the gold-white sun, moon, the very earth
Turns as bright, as colorful as the pain I feel,
In the end you'll have only days before an
End for this way of life, one that is truly unreal.

Getting it all out 2

There is one thing that can not compare with the space that I call
my endless noise free affair.
It's simple, you get stuck here in this
judgement box, very little space, then cornered over someones personal
worries or whatever is really going on down there.

You see, I have this theory that most people are driven by one thing and one thing alone, the idea of hinting at
someones innermost secrets and only
concentrating on invading their own "guilty" space when they are finally home.

Yes, I "did it," whatever, I can never explain, you and your stupid doors,
you breath on them and it's ****** just the same. So much for just living life in peace, now we're just running to make sure that the creeps ***** rotten pervert lives are filled with ease!

What would it be like to be in your arms?
How would I feel protected by your
Amazonian charms, for now only a time
Filled with worry, my darkest day,
I the song bird, long hair, big doe eyes,
Would you with your short dark raven red hair
Be able to hold me as close and not become
Lost along the way, become 'trapped' in the love
Or take off when we 'can't get any space'
Any other way? You always do remind me
Of a twin 'sister,' I your 'brother,' lost in each others
Complex similarities. You see the pieces are alike,
But when you think about the pieces,
The truth is there's no telling if I'll ever be
Close enough to explore these arms,
Your pizazz, your wild charms, so boyish, yet light.
I'll be waiting for you on the other side,
Where the colorful green grass meets what's
Now become of this endless wait,
This extremely dangerous, toilsome life.

This is it, the only way out,
Through the burrowed green freedom tunnel
Well-as I like to call it,
It's nearly ready! But still I have no idea
Just how much longer I can hold my
Breath, keep fail safe wit.
There is a way over to the other side,
It's just a little bit further.
If I play my cards right,
I'll be able to make it through alive,
Though in the end all I was in trouble
For was spilled milk and loose ends,
A broken youth and whatever you say
Goes, so I guess surviving or not,
It all depends.

*Welcome to seeing stars...

It's hard to believe that we were just
Feet away from each other at one time,
Your dark eyes and brown short hair,
Your soft voice, and my endless crying,
(Still in pain from that day you told me to
Go my own pointless separate way)
You and I, we hold each other so close
From such a great distance-in my mind.
It's just like they all say, love is burning,
My house is in a fire ablaze, I am so burnt up
Over you. I will watch as the skies set fire,
I will wait until it burns down every last
Square inch of this place of evil in it's entire.
There will be no end to my pain
Until this world ends or you and I are
Holding each other just the same!

On the other side of the lakes edge
You might say it must be right
That when I throw a rock in the water,
The ripples touch the other side.

With light transparent patterns,
A spider weaves webs like silk,
Every strings placement matters
No matter a leaf or branches tilt.
So if you feel your being watched,
Ever think it might be so?
The spiral made from leaf to leaf
Catches rarities that come and go.

Just as I was thinking this,
I felt I was being watched,
As though someplace in my midst
The sound of footsteps stopped.
Searching for a picture of you as in vain,
I thought I heard you start to laugh,
Saw your raven hair so I flipped through again,
One thing I know is that we're never going back...

So many times before I sat there watching
Waiting, vegetating, it's so aggravating,
Waiting for this hell to freeze over.
I am in an ice box, I guess that's good as long
As it's inside a place I live, because then at least
I get to pace around or dream as is.

You sit there patting me on the head like I'm a stupid dog,
"There there, you'll get over your dreams. We all had to
At one point." I'm supposed to just sit here and feel golden,
This my darkest hour, the only thing I have left is that
I'm here where I can be a "pretty flower," but still I feel
I have no future with all of my dreams stolen.

I would give anything but to feel the fires of youth and life,
Now I get to be whatever else and poor as I am "free."

*One man's trash is another man's treasure, indeed...

Now don't get me wrong,
This whole time that I was trying to understand
What you wanted, I couldn't help but notice
That I can't make sense of it all along.
This and that, blind tales, you have my full
Undivided attention, filling my head with
Strange and odd promises, telling me that
Although it seems unreal, you could just
Let them all in. If I took your "sound" advice,
If I'm alone, I could sleep with people on the street,
Put all of my food and drink upon
The ground, drag food around, your obsession
That I should feel fine to just pick it up and eat,
To try to defy my "religious" obsession, always
Try to be the one in charge, look for opportunities
To go off and put away or slay the "baddies" at large,
Become the person of the hour, or a follower,
Get a job where I can sweep floors and wipe tables,
So that I'll really be excited for the first time doing
What I do for a living, even if I'm not really able.
Who cares if this life throws everything bad at me,
I'm ready to attack all of the things that hold me back,
Even go for the things that don't interest me, instead of
Letting them be! YES, I believe "everyone" should work,
Even if they are really lost, psychologically unwell,
Major transportation issues and other real
Problems, No matter what we've been through,
No matter the actual real life hell,
We were all brought into this world to be
JUST LIKE YOU as well!

Over and over,
this smooth sound is going through one
ear and the other, the settle sound
of the rushing of blood
flowing through my ever shedding,
ever alleviating body, by nature? NO.
Still accompanied by the "truth," my human
parts being made without molded clay,
all of them free now, a part of something many
find "naughty."
You can find similarities in the mountains,
in the various hills arches, like the back, the neck,
the lift of the full volume of your chest,
You reach for the toothbrush, the comb,
ashamed; your hair in tangles, of the teeth that decay,
though one time you shall see how the
chest is so filled with pain. Nevermind.
We all don't care about that pain until it happens that
eventual day. This human body made "without perfections,"
it continues to smell, to pleasure or suffer, to be hungry,
to find itself wrapped up in it's sole need for ***.
We must remember to be clean for inspections.
No exceptions, no matter what is being said.
It will keep clawing, keep scratching, until it finds it's
way out, once it escapes it's metal cage.

I make a promise to myself
To avoid the past and think of tomorrow,
In the dusk the world is a bitter reddish hue,
Under this happy sky with people dying in war,
It's just what we need to make certain that
We will "make it through," with "endless" life,
But there is really no other way I'm told.
You who deface nature for yourselves alone,
Trash the earth we were given that keeps us alive,
Even then you eat off of plates of gold.
We are your fools who sit in the library,
Reading some important history about
"Non-essential" needs of love and
The glory of the way of tribes past.
Whatever I am saying-even this moment
I'm being laughed at far and wide.
I'm wrong! I'm stupid. Go ahead, say it.
We're going the right direction, leave no stone
Un-turned, let no animal in the woods hide!
You will still show me "perfection" in destruction
And death once I let you get inside my head,
If we are the future, it's already dead...

Forgive me...
I have "spoken wrong" again, been unjust with my words
Forgive me...
I have been eccentric, I haven't followed your personal ideals
Forgive me...
I am on a path to the other side, I am drinking
this "poison" down, it will be my own "undoing"
Forgive me...
Somehow these activities have been the grease
which lubricate the "devils wheels"
Forgive me...
I am underneath all "normalcy," I have seen things
that the children "should not ever see"
Forgive me...
There is a path I have tread upon that bares your mark,
I didn't see the mark before hand but "knew better"
Forgive me...
You are the one! You will show me the way, I am yours
to ****** upon all knowledge both right and wrong
Forgive me...
I will always be in your shadow, I am poor but still
I have "spoiled myself" with work that is lesser

~You will never say two simple words,
they are beyond your comprehension~

~You the "mature," "wise" old one with years of
learning and "pure" precision~

~I am always in your debt, you never need me,
I alone make the untrusted decision~

The two words you would never say are simple:

*~I'm Sorry~

Feel my pain,
etched into time,
I am not the one
to keep others in line,
but sometimes I would
just love to be heard.
I am no one, that's clear,
so no one takes my word.
Put me in a ditch, make
yourselves grand,
you are the only ones who
others understand.
One things for sure-on a cold day
in hell, I'd never give you the time
of day, but I'm no one, so oh well.

Addiction to this
Way of life, this country pride,
While others love it

I slip and fall, behold the water all around, this daze, the overlit tiny
space, hospital, looking at me, doctors piercing gaze.
This is it! I feel their needles pierce my side, fill me with that which
will put out my lights.
I scream and in a rush they tilt my head back and let the pills
go down my throat. I was the one who got myself trapped
by this modern castle moat.
Should have known better, but still I cry, this is it, I'll set fire
to the skies, and no one will ever again sing me sterile lullabies!

*Tick
Tock
Clock
Years
Fears
Covered the empty bed sheets
Tears
Vague memories burned into my skull
Like a flashing bulb
****
All pain is gone
The chills
Spills
Backwards
Slipping into a near coma
From my FREE drug induced state
Speeding heart rate, and yet you,
Sifting through bottles
For that one last pill
To free your cowardly self
From having any free will.

I've been at this for years, and I still can't keep up with you!
You always win at everything I'm best at, so I guess this is the truth,
There is no way to master anything unless you "break bones" at
Everything you do. In this world, it's either "**** or be killed,"
At least in the competitive world. Well, I'm sure that they've
Displayed maturity at every turn making things this way.
The only way to win is to give up at everyone's stupid immature
Game!

What is a poet without an audience?
When I write, I write from my heart.
What does it matter if it's torn apart?
I have to live with these regrets,
I never tried hard enough, make every
Last mess. I will be gone soon, you will see,
And no one in their perfect little world will ever
Miss me. But that's why there's the internet,
Fake modern life, to let you feel as if
You are free.

Bully the bullies!* If you feel you've been harmed,
You have! If someone looks at you wrong,
Break their neck! Others need to clean
Their act up! Don't need to apologize
Even when I'm the one who messed up
All along! Yes, it's a self-pity song!
You are in charge, you are the one!
Yes, this is the way you make due,
This is how you solve things! (All alone)
You always mess it up for me even though
You face this whole world on your own!
If by words alone I am "harmed" in my heart,
It's perfectly good (not vindictive)
(Dark vengeance, what's that?)
To go right ahead tear them apart!

This is the only way it seems
Each time I turn you on-this remote
So close at hand but it isn't what I need
Vague colors and shadows over the screen.
In the end I'm stuck in this vortex,
But I don't even know which way I should go,
Broken down on a park bench
Because you're such a hard person to ever know.
I'm hung up on you,
You're the TV, I press each button on the remote,
You take me everywhere but still I'm lost,
Remaining here in this seat without hope.
An endless stream of shows, this is what I want,
Yes, this is it I guess. I'm lost on you,
I'll give myself nightmares just thinking of
Never getting to be alone with just us two,
Alone on some sofa-in my mind-holding you,
Kissing your neck, then I find I have pillow
In my mouth and I wake up in this stupid
Waste of a wreck.

You sat there waiting for me in the dingy cafe,
You had pills hidden in your purse,
I should have smelled the tainted smoke in your breath,
This is all it's actually worth.

My time I spend, each day I try
To fix up this messed up life,
While the pain never subsides.

I was waiting for you at one time,
I had believed in your sense of direction,
Your understanding and convictions,
All failed with but simple inspection.

My life I lead, this whine and your greed,
Pain in my heart with how you speak
Like you're the only one I ever truly need.

In the end I was looking for someone else,
They were lovely, beautiful and smart,
Kind to animals and fighting for causes.
You know why I stopped waiting on you?

*Because that isn't the least bit of what you are...

Sure, I've ruined it again!
Follow me around like I'm the actual
And only problem. You'll eventually get yours!
So you think I'm the ultimate biggest of fools?

(Well, for once and for all, check yourself!)*

Nice people finish last, and there's nothing nice
About going around with personal problems, that I
Have to fit your personal standard, even when they
Are following all of the standard rules!

Like the ring of a bell in the distance
some trance which in an instance
can seem like it lasts an eternity,
I embrace the natural wild just as much as I can,
I know it's not a normal thing
but life is short and I am happiest free.
Lost in the moonlight halo or entrenched
in active chaotic madness, it's all the
same to me. A vagabond, a fool,
I earned this by word of mouth alone,
never again truly kissed, scarred and yet my poor
living is sacred, there is no place I can call my own,
this all I am thinking as I drift off to sleep
for the very last time, as you hold my shaky hand,*
there is little I'd have left for my journey while
they take all they can that is left
of my world all for the sake of greed,
of nothing but selfish sentimentality,
I am already guilty, instantly proven guilty,
so for once let me be.

They look at me with pointed sharp eyes,
Tell me it's all in my mind, I must be blind,
I look at the bedroom wall and there is nothing,
Yet my mind every moment is filled with so much activity.
I see this world around me spinning but slowly,
This whole social mirage keeps on changing,
Except when I'm drifting at night at my home,
Good or bad, right or wrong, but never once when
I was alone, was I ever TRULY alone.
They followed me this way and that through
The streets, called to me, scold me or made me laugh,
Vague clay statuesque devils or angels, I could not say,
But in the end you tell me it's all in my mind
When the night becomes day.

You and me, dreams fake, but all in all it's what is the take,
You and me, plain as can be, but we're having fun falling asleep,
Face first into the cake.
You and me, our hopes so free, but we're still stuck where we will
Always be.

So what is real? What is fake? It seems to you there's much at stake,
In daring to dream, daring to fly! Why not just grow old fast,
Whither and die?
So why my grin, why your frown? Could it be that your
Hatred has gotten You down?

It will be a long walk home, trailing turning, all alone,
Over my shoulder I hear your scorn, every day until I'm forlorn.
Every turn I feel their eyes, they never leave, yet it's always been,
Always will be that I'm blind, YOU WIN like you always would,
It's got to be *it's all in my mind...

So far nothing new is happening.
This is just history repeating itself.
One day all love will cease to have meaning,
It will just be something you can purchase,
Like buying plot on the Moon or Mars,
Or war or knowledge or emotions or words,
We'll just pretend it's all real.
A strange, vain culture we've developed,
Why everything is a steal.
And we never learn, we live in fear, do the same
Ridiculous things that "work" over and over again,
Why you can see how it's just a valley of blades,
One day you will realize it's only a matter of when
Some will wind up getting left in the dust, others in the gray,
I've got a hunch that one day if we wait long enough,
Eventually we will wind up in the dark again.
There will again be hell to pay*

Only a matter of when...

I awoke each morning, without warning
They came from the front door,
And at night the candles were barely well lit,
They were silent and yet I couldn't
Ignore, this is...what is this?
A vile voice and angry specter
Filling my night with gloom,
Now all that was left, my empty space,
For horrors I would brace ,
I couldn't get them out of my face.
This each night they came again,
Banging cupboards while I slept,
Spinning sofas, shooting rubber bands.
They kept invading my dreams,
Upon my shoulder I saw a hand,
A reflection in a portrait of skulls,
A face of an old graying man...*
All of this and more. All of this sent me off my rocker,
I lost my nerve but couldn't settle the score,
I had no idea what they wanted. I was scared
Within inches of my life they were everywhere,
Like the scattering tiny feet of mice.
And a small little puppet twists his face up
Upon my bed, then a native over the same area
With Tomahawk ready, swinging over his head,
Huge spiders appeared upon the ceiling overhead,
And still I was somehow not aware at that,
But they drove me over the edge.
Her feet in the air while lying on the sofa, long hair,
A glaze in her eyes, hate behind the dark disguise,
It's sad to say I had no idea what I'd seen back then,
But it kept going on and on and on.
Close they always followed, they wouldn't let me be,
But I tell you for once a real haunting thing or three,
All I really know is they just wouldn't let me be free...
No matter what I know, no matter what I dream,
Every now and then something moves to scare me.
I know that it's weird and can't find proof or come close,
But all through the years it appears it was a "Gray Winged Ghost."

Go ahead
Leave me in the dust
To rot and rust
I am what I am, there is no denying,
I'm "not the one to trust!"
Give me over to the *wolves,
Don't help me lift the weight,
I grow "weaker" daily, while
I lift it on my own, *my soul "I sold."
How you gave it to me then let go.
I don't need others there to help me
To even do good things, I carry on
Alone, this is my battered tiny home,
But it keeps me here alive and well,
Still I scare others, garish scars
I must have been to hell! I got what
I deserved? Of course when you see
The real "me for myself," I am a fool
For "all can tell..."

*Place me over the spikes and let me
Figure it out, what's the matter?
It can't be so hard...!

"Trump not a legitimate president..."
This is how we help presidency "grow,"
"Reasonable" for trying to build a silly wall
Between the US and Mexico,
"Realistic" for even trying to appear
To have a solution to anyone's problem,
While he does "catch up work" in politics.
"Responsible" even his supporters telling people
His radical concepts are better, not just the extreme
Form of right to the Democratic, Liberal opposite.**

Someone please save us from this extreme right winger!
Oh yea, that's "great!"
It's already too late...

America's "freedom of speech,"
Comfy padded *** protection!
The land to laugh at another freely
but "break things" if someone laughs in their
general direction.

*Hypocrisy and hate, the new age!

I'm sorry
Sorry I wrote these sad poems
Sorry that it had to end this way,
Sorry you saw a part of me in pain.
Sorry I had to cry on your shoulder
And ruin your perfect day,
Sorry I told you what I really feel,
Sorry to you it seemed so unreal.
I'm sorry
Sorry this poem had to come undone,
Sorry but this isn't the only sad one,
Sorry that it seems that there aren't any better ones.

But the hardest thing I've ever had to try to accomplish
Is write a happy poem when I'm feeling glum...

I know I have a one track mind
I can't stop thinking of this broken love,
Wrapped up in the same stupid argument
From day one, maybe you said it means
I'm the dumbest man alive both far and near...

Or maybe it's just pointing toward my fear.

Settle this once and for all,
I get the old mirror out,
Wipe the half-smile off my face,
It was never really there in the first place,
Here I sit, neither man nor dog,
Just a person who can't like this way of life,
Whether for better or for worse,
I'm the poorest "selfish hog,"
Whatever you want me to believe
This is the end for me,
Where the road meets pavement and I
Am forced to continuously be what
Society wants me to be.

She sits upon her royal chair,
eating a donut, drinking coffee, smoking a plume
smoke rising like a phantom menace in the air.

She calls upon her royal friends she sees,
the batting false eyelashes to a perfect stranger
asking the "gentleman" only for his "hand" by all means.

She drives in her royal chariot,
A red and orange one, flaming stripes at the sides, singing
Songs about the battles and triumphs of wartime's "great" merit.

One day this lovely newborn bird will fly the coop,
the child I know by rights was a born queen! She'll
win first in pageants and then we'll drink to soul's soup.

The Raw, Wild West Indeed!

I'm in a raft you gently paddle
The sense of this argument that comes
To me and tells me I've been a wild fool,
Better off smothered, a tool,
That entraps me in this triangle
of guilt, fear, and waves of madness.
I am on the verge of a total meltdown
Because you sing gently and dip your oar
Into the water quietly.

All the time!

It's now finally sundown,
Still the ebb and flow of my nerves
Are unsettled as the world spins around me,
My stomach in a knot I can't breath.
This is the end and *my heads numb, I can not feel,
There is one thing on my mind and it won't
Go anywhere so it disappears a distant hush.
There is the scent of flowers on your tidy scarf,
It reminds me of the fragrance of too much
Cologne. I try to escape but you hold all the keys,
*I just wish your boring "epic" show of modern
Over perfection would leave me alone!

"You can buy happiness..."
Says the so-called "life expert,"
Families always going on big vacations
With plenty of money, this makes people "happy,"
I listen to this and other things I've read,
Telling people that there's an end of days,
For our sins someone will strike us all dead.
I for one think I've heard it said-one too many times,
They will never overcome this truth which wise men tell!
Always remember, remember well,
One mans heaven is another mans hell.

I'm trying to "help the community,"
Trying to make a "healthy impact,"
I have a goal in mind, set,
It's all laid out ahead, before we've met.
I am forever "blessed,"
I can lose my moral traits when convenient.
I have all of the "virtues I was given,"
Most always fail me. My hindsight vision, "20/20 perfect,"
I've got a "healthy" set of norms and a
Pair of able legs, I am in the right
When I stumble and I'm not wrong
When I am told otherwise,
I've gotten somewhere at being in control,
Now I let strangers into my home and
Set up a world in which they're rights can be
Defined based upon my living. It's my decision.
If it's tolerable, I decide.  How soon you have to
Be finished and even how you're to be judged.
I am judge jury and executioner. I can make it
A "grand" money-making excursion. My family
As a group of strangers who "care," I never distrust.
Always and ever at my side but in the background,
We will see to it that this is somehow legal,
So long as no actual authority are around,
*There's no one who can stop me now!

Bring on the cold!*
You can all leave you're summer clothes behind.
Now is the apocalypse, all will be as society, as
All of civilization never knew once the pipes crack,
Bad weather or blind.