So this is how it feels
To be nailed to a cross On a backdrop of pillows. That mattress on which we lie... The bedsheets are like the wind Floating amidst your thundering sighs; Yes, they are hammering me down As you hold me there with your thighs Beneath mine. I am powerless, I am breathless As I tread upon the night sky And the echoes of your sighs. There is a crossroad as I follow the path: One to sorrow, One to hopelessness, One to indifference And one to the divine. And now at last there's a silence That may linger til the morn. We’re all prepared for renewal From a past that won’t be left behind.
Written on January 7th, 2021.
— Copyright © M. Solav —
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I never wanted to change the sheets,
as I always smelt you even though you weren't there. I loved you from the distance, from a kiss from you to us. But I knew that I needed you to know, that I was here even though you weren't between the pillow and sheets keeping me warm. Sleeping without you, clutching the the cusion that had you head rested next to mine.. Closing my eyes I'd imagine you looking lost into mine. Breathing deeply I feel a moment when you loved me. I felt lost till you were next to us, we weren't apart. But I lost you every time you closed the door. But now you're next to me, no longer cuddling pillows of dreams I have the real thing, you next to me.
As the rain drops
And the time stops A memory of you pops And craves for your voice box. I just missed you Hoping that you think of me too. A long rainy day Hoping that you stayed. As I close my eyes, As this tears dry With the memories having you by my side Hoping my pillows absorb our cherished times.
you cant always make pain leave.
it knows its directions. it knows how to follow you home. pain knows its way to your sheets. it knows which side of the pillow is colder. if it ever visits you tonight just let it in, lead it to the blank pages of a notebook. there, it will stay. between these lines, this is where it stays.
Clouds are like pillows in the sky.
Oh! how I wish that I could fly. To touch the soft white, To lay there till night, When the moon gazes down with its silvery eye.
Another old one from my childhood... I have no idea when I wrote this... I wish I had developed the habit of writing the date on things earlier... X'D
Keep puffing poisonous clouds
I feel stress decrease Lost like my former self Keep searching for inner peace Things are so out of place Been ****** up for awhile Try to keep my mind right Hosting self-blame and denial I obstruct noise with music Block distractions with volume Worries barge in large groups Interrupting speakers loud tune Nothing quiets my ever-screaming thoughts No sound drowns my troubled brain out Tried but am incapable of Changing what I think about Sometimes I lose control and cry It's the only thing I can In bed dreaming happy futures Hope to get there but have no plan Fall asleep before pillows dry Fall apart when dusk creeps in Negativity held in place by lies Like laundry hung on clothespins Love is our ultimate weakness Only great fools believe otherwise We escape life through others That is our true demise
If we cannot escape death, let us at least escape life; through love.
I seem to write
My best at night When I can't sleep And I've turned out the light When I've said goodnight To the darkness under my bed Twixt my pillows And neath my head Once I've said goodnight To the the bits of light That has bled From my window And the streetlamps
I'm kinda-sorta-not really tired