President Donald Trump was saying his morning prayers
In the Red Room of the White House
When,
Suddenly,
A Lightning Bolt hit the Window
And Jesus Christ came in.
"What are you doing there, Trump?" Jesus asked him.
"I'm praying to God," President Trump said.
"You're doin' it all wrong," Jesus said.
Jesus then handed President Trump a Spider Plant,
A small pot,
And a pail of soil.
"Okay," Jesus said.
"I want you to pot this plant, President Trump."
Trump became petulant.
"What if I don't want to?!" Trump asked Jesus.
"I can't afford to get dirt on my manicured finger nails."
"If that's the case,"
"I ain't gonna' do nothing for your country no more, Trump!" Jesus angrily responded.
At that,
Trump got on the Phone to White House Security.
"Security, we've got a Terrorist in the White House!"
At that,
Jesus jumped out the window and flew back up to Heaven,
Leaving President Donald Trump
Flustered and Confused.
I prayed to God for a new Sports Car
And I prayed to God for the Hurricanes to stop.
My house was leveled
And,
Now,
I'm flat broke,
So, This must mean
That God doesn't love me any more.
-the global strongman, and how to survive him
"Our leader is a good man,
he knows what is right."
He needs no wicked science,
all he needs is strong believers.
They don't like competence, they hate discretion.
Cast down your glance for their eager eyes.
"Ang aming mga lider ay isang mabuting tao,
alam niya kung ano ang tama."
He is an ardent lover of justice,
killing criminal vermin at all cost.
They want to bring you down, my friend,
they like us unlike them.
"Wǒmen de lǐngdǎo shì yīgè hǎorén,
tā zhīdào shénme shì duì de."
He needs no shrewd lawyers,
he senses who is guilty.
By hunger and chaos they make you foul your mouth,
our hate and cursing will set us all apart.
"Nash lider - khoroshiy chelovek,
on znayet, chto pravil'no."
Now don't get naughty,
you know, just behave.
Raise your head, man, raise your feeble voice:
let's sing our songs, let's come together.
"Liderimiz iyi bir insandır,
doğru olanı biliyor."
He's towering above all of us,
he'll crush the faintest uprising upfront.
Heureux qui comme Ulysse a fait un beau voyage
- et puis est retourne plein d'usage et raison.
Fortunate the guy who fared well on his travels
- and returned, a man of the world, full of wisdom.
"Our leader is a good man,
he knows what is right."
WHY DO I COMPOSE POEMS
ON THIS 70 YEAR OLD MAN
WHO IS RUNNING AMERICA
THE BEST THAT HE CAN
NOW I HAVE 2 POETRY BOOKS
ON THIS 70 YEAR OLD MAN
WHO IS RUNNING AMERICA
THE BEST THAT HE CAN
NOW PLEASE BUY MY BOOKS
ON THIS 70 YEAR OLD MAN
WHO IS RUNNING AMERICA
THE BEST THAT HE CAN
TO FOLLOW THE RISE
ON THIS 70 YEAR OLD MAN
WHO IS RUNNING AMERICA
THE BEST THAT HE CAN
SO THE END OF THE TALE
ON THIS 70 YEAR OLD MAN
WHO IS RUNNING AMERICA
THE BEST THAT HE CAN
TRUMP CHRONICLES AND ME
AND THE 70 YEAR OLD MAN
ARE RUNNING AMERICA
THE BEST THAT WE CAN
TRUMP CHRONICLES amazon.com
THIS IS A GREAT POEM.
TRUMP IS PRESIDENT
AUSTRALIA HAS TURNBULL
NORTH KOREA IS COMING
IT COULD GET HURTFUL
TRUMP IS PRESIDENT
THE EMMYS A NEW HOST
WOW WHAT AN AUDIENCE
HE SURE CAN BOAST
THIS IS VERY CLEAVER IF YOU SAW THE EMMYS.
TRUMP IS PRESIDENT
HILLARY HAS LOST
NOW AMERICA WILL
COUNT THE COST
TRUMP IS PRESIDENT
OUR WORLD IN DISPAIR
BUT TRUMP STILL HAS
HIS GOLDEN FLOWING HAIR
TRUMP CHRONICLES amazon.com
PRESIDENT TRUMP AT THE UNITED NATIONS
IT NEEDS AN OVER HAUL
OK DONALD LETS HAVE A TWEET
BEFORE THERE IS AN IN HOUSE BRAWL
NORTH KOREA IS THE TOPIC
THEY WILL HAVE AN INTENSE CHAT
IF NORTH KOREA FIRES ANOTHER MISSILE
I THINK THAT IS THAT
WE HOPE THE SANCTIONS WILL
BRING NORTH KOREA TO ITS KNEES
IF IT DOSEN'T WHAT WILL TRUMP DO
DROP THE BOMBS WITH EASE
TRUMP CHRONICLES amazon.com
TRUMP IS PRESIDENT
AMERICA CAN TELL
HOLLYWOOD IS UNHAPPY
AND AS MAD AS HELL
TRUMP IS PRESIDENT
LETS HAVE A TWEET
WHEN I TWEET
ITS REALLY SWEET
TRUMP IS PRESIDENT
THE EMMYS A NEW HOST
WOW WHAT AN AUDIENCE
HE SURE CAN BOAST
TRUMP IS PRESIDENT
AUSTRALIA HAS TURNBULL
NORTH KOREA IS COMING
IT COULD GET HURTFULL
TRUMP IS PRESIDENT
OUR WORLD IN DESPAIR
BUT TRUMP STILL HAS
HIS FLOWING GOLDEN HAIR
TRUMP IS PRESIDENT
RUSSIA CHINA KOREA
THE UNITED NATIONS ARE IN
TRUMPS REAR VIEW MIRROR
This Wildfire Smoke Global Warming Sinus Infection
Beat the shit out of me.
I've never experienced anything so HORRIBLE in my life!
I guess the good side to the story
Is that it TRANSFORMED me.
True,
It made me hateful and grouchy.
I didn't enjoy being crucified
By the greed of this Civilization,
But crucified I was
And I feel a bit different
As I gradually get off the Cross
Of Congestion.
Hello, Sports Fans,
This is Howard Cosell here
With the legendary. Muhammad Ali,
And we're Covering
The Global Warming Fuckitall Up Riots
For ABC.
First, I would like to ask you a few questions, Muhammad,
(Muhammad Ali) Throw 'em at me, Howard.
You tried to draw attention to the Plight of the Third World
With your Rumble in the Jungle
And the Thrilla' in Manila.
Do you think that you were effective in Spreading Awareness.
(Ali) Unfortunately not, Howard.
As a Servant of Allah, I tried to make people more aware
But the Whole World is the Third World now.
(Cossel) So, why do you think Global Warming is happening.
(Ali) Well, unfortunately,
This is Allah's punishment of Humanity, Howard.
We have not been Good Stewards of the Earth.
This is Judgment Day.
(Cosell) So, who do you think will win the Riots in St. Louis, Muhammad?
(Ali) Oh, Satan, Howard.
He's the Big Winner when we refuse to deal with Global Warming.
People fight and are Hotheaded.
So, they fight over meaningless racial Nonsense
And Satan inevitably wins.
(Cosell) There we have it
From the World Champion,
Muhammad Ali!
Now, we'll return our coverage of the Global Warming Fuckitallup Riots.
Thank you for tuning in on ABC Sports.
If one is heading towards Perdition
And needs to make a U-Turn,
One must take the time
To Turn around
Gradually and Safely
Safely.
Otherwise,
One might as well just accept
That one's Destination
Is Hell.