Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Jeremy Betts Aug 2023

An authentic smile defeated then deleted long ago, zero chance of winnin' stretchin' all the way back to my beginnin'
It was a genuine expression that slowly melted to an unrecognizable reflection
All pigmentation givin' way revealin' a secondary, ghostly stand in walkin' in my skin and it's handed some demands in
Granted, it happened in my formative years, a couple of years before the realization hit, I was an abandoned abomination
But the impact has been felt through forty somethin' calendars and countin', often wonderin' just how many more of 'em I'll actually be needin'
A true representation of life's failed evolution, my opinion, it would've helped to have known the mission
At the very least I coulda been shown at least one possible destination
Instead of being teased with this mystical American dream while always wakin' up in a nightmareish situation
Or hell, just vaguely point me in the general direction I should be travelin' in
Oh and where I should begin because I'm sure I'll be back here again, spending a majority of me time going back to the beginnin'
Then, after that you can get back to not givin' a **** about your creation, can't be bothered to even check in too see how we're all doin'
Refusin' to even call it in with a simple "how's it goin'?" Completely stopped showin' up for some reason
What happened to all the love and forgiveness you're supposed to be dishin' out according to your words, king James edition
Bigfoot and god, both bein' heaven and earths undisputed hide and seek champion
Ignorin' all the cries for help you've been hearin' while dodgin' every little question
Eliminate guessin', can't find the answer if you can't formulate the question
Still wouldn't say it's been a waste but the needles strongly leanin' towards an awfully vague reason for existin'
An overall lack of an adequate position, doesn't really seem like I was even designed to fit in
That is if my life has been any indication
I manage to make it to, AND THROUGH, the proverbial one more day but where's the lesson?
Was it in the bull shiit I kept slippin' in before crossin' off and finishin' anythin' deemed worthy of doin'?
This just feels like non-monetary extortion, a life-sized portion, takin' far more than what's ever been given
How do you think that's gonna end? This is not a rhetorical question, I'm looking for answers and forever waitin'
I'm still in competition with myself, the prize, livin', the compromise, loosin' myself in a portrait I've broken
Or durin' the transition, stumblin' across the realization that everyone's been right, I am the problem, that's no longer opinion
Find it in the nonfiction section
The eradication of an inner companion, replacin' compassion with aggression, smooth sailin' with frustration, no direction, no validation
The transition to curmudgeon happened earlier than expected, drawin' parallels from the curious case of Benjamin Button
Not for nothin', the infestation of negative thoughts caused a mutation inside and out, completely loosin' what it means to be a person, never was a good one
Probably no longer a shoe in for team human, my demon is all high on my supply with a gargantuan appetite for fear and hate eggin' it on
It's not a lose lose situation, and it sure ain't win win, and any other option, I'm guessin', got lost in translation
But I'm pretty sure somethin's gotta end in order for another somethin' to begin, at least that's what I'm hearin'
Still can't find a reason that justifies the conviction
Is what I'm feelin' damnation?
Is what I'm seein' my own creation?
It could just be that no matter what I'm not goin' to be happy with the conclusion
Only recently discoverin' life is not a choose your own adventure, you're not allowed to be pickin' your preferred endin'
A mustard seed of faith in myself ain't doin' nothin' but turnin' a mole hill into a mountain
No fat lady singin', just a whole lotta screamin', just a band playin' as I feel myself sinkin' into oblivion
Who the hells idea was it to make me captain? Given the keys to the ship but zero trainin'
Pardon me for givin' up on salvation but if you've been payin' even a little bit of attention
It should go without sayin' but you're waistin' away waitin' for divine intervention
Be careful what you look to for inspiration, maybe get a second opinion before goin' full send, divin' head in without practicin' the landin'
A recipe for disaster cookbook in the kitchen, irony gone missin', passin' overhead, no one's even lookin'
It may not be your intention, but there's no hate like the love of a christian
I'm just sayin', that's a world I lived in, I wish this was a work of fiction, then I could benefit from all this wishin'
Even presentin' it as an exaggeration would be lyin', if I'm lyin' I'm dyin', we're all dyin', they're all lyin'
A livin' contradiction by their own admission, rid them of bullshiit with a little sanitation
Keep an eye on the who you're prayin' to every day, it may not be the one, or at least the only one, listenin'
And there's no mulligan, no snooze button, no rewind function, no wake me up when it's over discussion
A conversation on morals is just opinion, life's not a given, it can be taken but if you can't take it, please, don't give in
With a questionable foundation any moment construction can slip, unnoticed, into destruction
Countless lessons on dysfunction, an influx of confusion, temperaments risin', no inner peace on the horizon
Please have your opposition choosen before the match is striken allowin' the dumpster fire lifestyle to begin
Fuelin' suspicion, a growin' unease between both neighbor and friend, the end will come as no surprise then

Just pay attention

neth jones Jan 2023
tips, brushes and spills and the willingness of physics
dip the quill
blending a full face of colours trippy
tipping my crown, my head,
my thinker becomes      creation winning
i wink   faithfully lacy    into the universe    pirouettes and eddies
i divide myself    couple and quad and oct..
flood my breeding into the cosmos
spoon-feeding      peddling out into the mutter
the great relax of the creative meddle
written for a 'picture prompt' competition. the picture was a painting of a human face made of galaxy swirls and outer space features.
like a wolf
on the periphery of the unknown
betwixt knowledge and dread
I saw the dark truth
I felt the gulf
the waste
the expanse
the difference in power
the taste of defeat
the vice grip of the inevitable
the long, slow bleed of my dignity
flowing out
with the gold of my entrails
eviscerated by my pride
how I dared to topple the monolithic,
undeniable truth
that there is always
a better you
a better me
a better us, out there
more hung
more fashionable
more handsome, more beautiful, more androgynous
more capable
more accomplished
more patient
more... loving
more empathetic
they know more random facts
they've been more places
they've known more people
they've seen more sunrises
they've counted every moon
their worst is better than your best day
he cares for her more deeply than you did
she loves that
she's forgotten you
he tells her what he never told you
and she loves him for that
you were always afraid to find out
they never invite you because you're not fun
what a downer
what a bore
there's always that one person
upon whom your envy is never sated
they lope in moonlight
flowing locks of grace
teeth bared in a frightful grin
they know all your cards
they can play you like a fiddle
they're out there
where you fear to go
the apex predator
the person you'll never be
but dream you could
and dreams are all you'll have...
I'm a competitive person, by nature.

And this poem came to me as I realized, one night while gaming, that I'd never be the best at anything. I felt a sense of futility about any pride I've ever managed to feel concerning an accomplishment of mine.

I watched myself, small, in a sort of third-person view, question why it was I have ever striven for anything, when I continually run into my betters.

It was a scary realization. But, I believe, it's ever more scary when you have no powerful allies in the world, or when, even your allies fear the world at large, and you're all united in fear. It's a condition that humility fails to pacify.

A deep dread. A paralysis of hope.


neth jones Aug 2022
please-please   add your waxy scrolls
   truths   to the panic pyre
madden   an inflamed swarm of intelligence
worm warrens    into the collective of our brain
   having been riddled
      it'll collapse under the corrective strain
      and start blinking a genuine signal
process recognized    compassionate inkling
(46 words)
I let the death follow me
I do not care if he runs faster than me
So I let the death take the lane we race together
And I hope we can be a friend in the end after

He may finish and win the race
And I may still fight and never know what I face
I realize that the life is not about competition
So I find my own way to know my passion

It is not about I am too young to die
It is about I am a human as long as I can give a beautiful goodbye
Yes, the life is too short to hate
So I practice how the love works and I try to bet

I do not let myself die in pain
And I do not let myself be suffer without gain
I am not afraid if I die now
And I am not afraid if they don't impress me without say, Wow!

Because God flows through my vein
and dances around in my brain
Indonesia, 25th January 2022
Arif Aditya Abyan Nugroho
neth jones Nov 2021
wung, hung and then strung        
       plundered from my carrion ways
even in this undignified                
and ***** display      
i'll make a handsome portrait
competition piece... first & only version. brackets by title added after.
painting description : a Corvus bird. dead. hanging by one claw by a piece of string. indoors. simple white room. antique rifle propped against the wall

Parang ang lahat ng ilaw ay may kakumpitensya.
Habang ang lahat ng nagliliwanag
At kumikinang sa gabing mahiwaga’y
Nagtatagisan kung sino ba ang pinaka-nakasisilaw –
Kung sino ang pinakamaganda.

Ni isa sa kanila'y ayaw matabunan,
Ni ayaw nilang sila'y mahigitan
Kaya naman maging sa kanilang pagtulog,
Ay dinadalaw pa rin sila ng kani-kanilang kagustuhan.

Ni hindi makahimbing ang mga alitaptap
Na nagpapalamon sa nanunuksong alab.
At tila ba walang katapusan ang paglikha
Pagkat sa pagsapit ng panibagong umaga'y
Iba na naman ang isasabit
At magpapakitang gilas ng kanyang ningning.

Ngunit ang lahat sa kanila’y
May mga aninong umaakap patungo sa dilim.
Nagtatago sa lilim ng kani-kanilang lihim,
Walang mukhang maiguhit
Kundi tanging pangalang minsang naiukit
Upang panandaliang magbigay-kulay at magbigay-buhay.

At sabay-sabay silang manghihina;
Maghihikahos na daig pa ang nanlilimos ng lakas –
Ng liwanag, ng kasiguraduhang maari pa silang bumangon.
At mahahandugan pa ng pangalawang pagkakataon.

Ngunit sa kabila ng kanilang paghihikahos,
Ay kusang mamamatay ang kanilang mga apoy
Na minsang sinindihan ngunit niyurakan
Ng sarili nilang mga apoy.
Brumous Jun 2021
they say that simple is best,
that's why its not a surprise
that I feel so complicated...
Pr nandni May 2021
Competition should FETTER among the animals of jungle only
Because when it comes to humans they make it JUNGLY
STUDENTS competes with each other to get 1st rank
Other completes in flowing river to hold the plank...

When Envy plays in the cradle of competition then,
A sister crushes WISHES of her sister
A brother knowingly pushes his brother into DEBT
Not the every deed is the demand of your soul , except SERENITY
All those NASTY Things is the greed of your body.......

Before sleeping faces of betrayal, deceive & lies,
Appears right before my EYES .
They left me in trouble, but promises to help others
Declaring themselves a social reformer, a new THINKER .
CHARITY begins at home didn't they learn !!
Even after all this I want to embrace them ,
Ready to forgive putting my dignity at STAKE .
BUT they'll are enjoying without even realising their MISTAKES
Competition always takes place at the cost of one's life
Whether it's an animal at JUNGLE or animals at HOME .....
" Competition is never good... especially when it hides ENVY in its lap...."
Next page