Since when was this handheld device the extent of our physical love? From across the room I stare at it half expecting it to blow The illumination of the screen now mirrors the enlightenment I once felt in your arms Though of course much diminished. I am beginning to fear it knowing the potential of our words to form exit wounds How can I predict the disaster I may inflict when i no longer know the surroundings of this battlefield? I throw this bomb against my floor, knowing the eruption of this force will be lesser than what is now incinerating through my head from your words.
I do not want to argue anymore Show me the way to the door I would rather slum it surfing couch to couch Than hide from life as I slack and slouch Look down upon from your self-righteous horse Insults hurled til your voice is hoarse And "wouldn't you feel bad if I died?" As if unaware of how I feel inside
I hate living with constant fear and anxiety. I honesty do not know how to refrain from taking it out on other people. Especially those close to me, such as my mother.
I am not a perfect daughter I'm sure you agree Your temper is hotter I'm the reason frequently Telling you it is only in your brain You have a meltdown Upset Chalking worry up to being insane Not what you deserve to get Going to be an improved child I'm completely grown Easy to provoke and wild Still the sweet baby you've always known Now I am telling you I'm sorry For excessive bitchiness and tears Blaming you when it was me Causing half the problems through the years It is not easy to admit I'm wrong Doesn't mean that you are right It takes two to get along Like it does to fight It is going to take determination from both of us It will be worth the patience to try Maybe peace we longingly discuss Will be reality for you and I I cannot change this on my own Wish you would meet me halfway Once in awhile just leave it alone On subjects you feel you must put in your say You want what's best for me Hurt because you care One thing I've been itching to let free "Thank you" for being there Regardless of what flaws come between Relationship has withstood them all Though at times you can act mean Petty quarrels usually stay small So this is a token of my hidden gratitude To show how you mean so much Also an apology for being rude Not keeping in proper touch No matter how drastic our ups and downs The thing that will not ever change That you'll always be around Arms open to me despite how strange I often take that for granted Focus on bad stuff you've done Of all the occasions I've ranted Not once did I mention the depth of your love The countless sacrifices you willingly made In order for me to do well How my hair you'd affectionately braid Somehow I left out of the stories I'd tell So it is written (here in purple ink no less) Save as proof of what's in my heart Next time it will remind us when in distress What is important when falling apart Forgive me for pain I've inflicted Lies and each mess my hand makes Know my actions have left you afflicted I swear I'll make up for all the mistakes