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A cold abrasion
Numbing as quickly
As the words outpouring
Making raw a mind
Knowing no different
Than to accept
And try to live with
The disappointment
Of oneself.

Havoc raining as a wave
Twice as tall
Allowing no escape
But to watch
As the trauma unfolds
And the words
Spoken out of hate
Branded on my brain
As a reminder
Of being unworthy.

A blank canvas
To the wide staring eyes
Bruised beneath
The blank canvas veil
That is the shell
Of skin,
More alien on this body
The more photo albums
A mind fills with memories.

Could I really be
The monster
Of which
She speaks?

Is the only option
To escape the toil
Of counting fingers
And reading
Truths and falsehoods
To conclude
Innocence or guilt
In my adolescence.

Silence is a grave
That one finds comfort in
When these walls
Are so used to ringing ears
From the storm
That only lasts seconds
But lingers
In the gilded silence
As the mind speaks
Above the bloodflow
When all one can do
Is plug ears
With fingertips
In order to live with oneself

Retaliation lies beneath
The bleeding
Now only visible
If friends are let close
To see
As the heart
Tears threads
That have been sewn
To restrict emotion
Loosening the seal
On the demon cradled within

A furnace
Are thrown the old photo albums
But in turn are the recents
As a block in the mind
Has been created
To forget
Because nothing is worth remembering
During a childhood
Of only knowing
The names
And the fear
Of what you are,
And after such a block has been made
Is no longer
A thread
Sewn in
To allow an escape.
92 lines, 309 days left.
eve Feb 5
I listen to the endless cries of cats at night
Lonely and helpless,
Abandoned and forgotten
Living in a narrow, deserted alleyway.
I’ve left cans of food for them,
But that’s not what they want
They want love
To feel protected and sheltered
By the sheer warmth of compassion
Some may want to be reunited with their mothers
Or from their owners’.
No matter how many times these poor animals were left out in the cold
Or met with the scorching rays of the sun
We’ve neglected them to the point where
Anything better than what they have right now will suffice.
The next time I hear their cries
I can’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of guilt
Part of me wants to take every one of them out of their miserable lives
But some of these cats had lives
Some of us overlooked that
Walked right pass a cat that belonged to someone who didn’t want them anymore
Threw them out like the piles of trash
In the alleyway.
Caleb A Johnson Dec 2020
All I ever get is your ashes:
The macaroni dinner you burned,
The last part of your jokes,
The short end of your smokes,
And the last ones will be in your urn.
My wife asked for the ****, I had smoked it all and she says "all I ever get is your ashes".
EmperorMoth Sep 2020
To sing to a void of silence, eating away at the sound I make,
Hoping something reacts and makes a sound.
I realized the pattern before me.
A sea of silence
A space of eyes
Alone, in this place
Singing my heart aloud...

But then i begin to wonder;

When it's only me in the end.
Am I crazy to continue to share my emotions with the eyes
Although they don't provide me the company I desire

Am I singing to feel sane
Or is it because I'm starting to feel tired
Cold, descending into the abyss of depravity

I'm not really okay
I just want to be held
But once again

It's only me...singing alone
In a deep silence of eyes

Forever trapped in a pattern that won't decay
...Sometimes I think about deleting my accounts and writing my poems in my notes. I don't even know if they're decent on the site. I rarely get feedback...just a number of eyes that have "observed" my emotions.
Amanda Kay Burke Sep 2020
Alone on a chilly night in September
Lost emotions still vividly remember
Sands of time erase happier days
Wondering why so little good stays

When I don't hear from you I stress
Inner storm only tamed by your caress
The weather lately has taken a turn
For the cold my heart holds will always return

Where my footprints fade and yours begin
Moments eternity seems suspended in
With another call straight to voicemail goes
Saltwater teardrops I fight like foes

At war with my own weakness and doubt
Puzzles and riddles I can't figure out
Shadows overtake our souls with shame
Empty and vacant
Demons steal our names

When you disappear I am left neglected
To forgive you comes easier than expected
The tide pulls you out and washes back ashore
Each time I wonder what you even leave me for?
I hate when you dont answer because I dont know if you are with some other girl or dead or what.. sigh.
Samara Jun 2020
wild flowers
growing in the rough

let them grow
where they go
thriving sure enough
Nina May 2020
You wonder
Where you stand in his life
You wonder what he wants

Baby girl
You think he wants to love you
But don't be foolish
For all he want
Is to *******

Look at you
You're irresistible

You think he wants you for you
But he clearly just wants to use you

It's quarantine
Everyone is insane from the lack of ***

You were naive to think he wanted you
He doesn't even care about you
He pretend to
Just so he could get in your pants

Just remember
No guy in this world will want you
All of them just wants to *******
-Goat Apr 2020
You want to survive, you want to fight
you need to prove that you can get through the night
but after so many years of being a scapegoat
you realize that no matter what,
you're still stuck on the same boat

All you wanna do is tell them what they did wrong
yet they just keep singing their ignorance song

you don't even care if you become successful and rich
as long as you find a wonderful wife, and have beautiful kids
Yet after all this time you realize you're on your own
left behind, heartbroken, with an enormous l̶o̶a̶n̶  debt..

you can keep on moving, keep on running
but even so the problems will always be coming

Still you gotta keep on fighting, even after so long
because the good things comes only to those who stay strong

for after all this time, after all this pain
you gotta prove that you can do it, and that it wasn't all in vain
Growing up feeling nothing but neglect, abandonment and lonliness is rough
but if you run every time evil comes to pummel, how will you prove there is light at the end of the tunnel?
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