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JB Jul 26
you did not smash a guitar to
splinterings: That Night,
there weren’t enough iiiiii

watching:

six cigarettes later,
all packed,
tossed back,

....you meandered off...
a long pause...

LOST CAUSE




I too patiently waited out the fight
I too patiently weighed out the fight
I too patiently way out did the fight

weighted, I, too,
impatiently,
way out,
-wait-

FIGHT
See where it gets you?
In the toilet bowl.
Open mouthed,
force fed remains,
gasping piss
instead of air,
grabbing at hair.
stop it stop it!

See where it gets you?
Wrapped up in business
never meant for
your energies,
fitting, in turn,
into crowded
papyrus.

Save me. Save you.
Save me? Save you?
Why?

Matter is finite.
I'm of it.
Build your empires.
Believe through the matter,
the
matter
of course.

I pick myself up from the floor,
and sweep back my soaking mop.
Stop?

Please.

I had a whole day
worse than tonight
just last week.

I'll enjoy my selfishness
while I can,
but thanks.
When I look down I know
one world apart
from when I look up.

A world below, more reality
than what I've known of reality
through living since my birth.

One earth, two worlds,
splitting hairs,
scrambling airs,
creating errors,
chastising errs
so much
that nothing's
learned.

Up/Down,
Living lies,
Blurring lines,
Up/Down --

It's not that I don't know
what's actually worth a fuck.

It's that I see worth as a curse,
and would, rather than peace,
see ecstasy return me
into the breeze
as dirt.
V Exeter Aug 22
nothing is fun
i have to make it so
lately, again
i just don't know
if joy is a chore
i wanna ignore
its temptation
as at that point
whatever feeling comes
will not live up
to imagination
your exertion
not worth your reward
nothing is fun
i have to make it so
i have to click
the executable
but why bother
when self impressed
duress is free
maybe the
only thing free
Hard pang of metal
louder than my
brittle ears can withstand.
Hard ping of wonder
sent, malicious,
from hidden wonderlands.

Cleave
my warm limbs from me.
Rip
my innards from me.
Substitute synthetic
amplification
for my
basic
weakness.
V Exeter Aug 21
"I don't play games."
Interesting.
Life itself
is many games
all wrapped up
in one package.

If I had to guess,
I'd wager
you're boring,
as I can see
you standing,
bored.

You know what they say,

"Only boring people
fall into boredom."

Between two boulders
kissing over the mouth
of the coyote's den,

you waste time you could spend,
all your energies are torn
to incandescent bits, ripped
and floating, suspended:

All the moments passed

you can't help but miss.

Be a bitch.
Construct a ruse
in entertainment's name
and enter it.
Cause a scene,
immediately
take it back.
Cry as hard as you laugh,
use the tears as a lubricant,
when you go to fuck.
V Exeter Aug 18
Mechana
Forbidden arcana
Written before me
Enters and becomes me
I am interfaced
Masters plant
Seeds of dissidence
Sow it, silently,
Fingers steepled,
Reap it and/
Or rape people
No excitement here
But platitudes
Robots grow popular
Flesh is set
Metal gradience
That makes an android, though
Augmented human in control
Algorithms brought, bought and sold
Set your digital
Daily reminders
I am mechana
I am arcana
I am logos
I am ubik
I am control
Driving dirty
Abusing weaponry
Sipping coffee
Six dollar chocolate
Kings and Queens
Up in the clouds
Plebeians convinced
Live beyond your means
Knees and forehead lean
Always deep for the ground
There is no cure, because
This is just us
Evolution,
Devolution,
Human condition
Try gazing out
Cast your doubts
To hungry fish
Beautiful sunset,
Isn't it?
Death is frozen
Life is ablaze
End of day comes
Repeat
Til you don't breathe
No more
End of day comes
Wanting
Ointment or balm
Get lost in violet
Hues of pullution
Stand akimbo within
The blood orange palms
V Exeter Aug 17
Satiated tank.
Gasoline leaking.
No cigarette:
living will,
will kill me
fast enough.
No--
aluminum
pedal
fully pressed,
pent up desire's
plenty to light
our glistening
fuse.

You'll find no mercy,
not here. A rat
in a
clumsily discarded cup
under neon rain.

You'll find no mercy, here,
we all return to the snake.

&
burn
burn
burn
V Exeter Aug 14
Should I start by saying
I call myself a tranny?
Not all the time, but when I feel.
I'll be damned if I'll
lie down and beautify
my language.

I am, without a doubt,
harming our political cause
-- but, I am too human,
and there are phrases yet to yell.
I am human first.

Am I a 1/1 token
you'll sacrifice
to an enemy's sweeper?
Am I a 1/1 token
you'll sacrifice
to the loop of an outlet?

Should I start by saying,
I have noticed some women
and some men don't even
understand a basic piece
of my foundation?
Bottom line: I barely
produce testosterone,
and I'm fucking full
of estrogen.

So, bitch, how do you picture
my emotional output?
How do you picture my
emotional output?

I'm unimpressed.
And who am I,
but some stupid tranny?

If I'm really nothing to you,
why do you have such a hard time
pretending, every day, I don't exist?

;)
V Exeter Aug 12
10 pm
wine
on a slow night
slouch at home
lounge
with the ice queen
on her sofa of a throne
Hulu on
Playstation
Lifestylists who
make first place
in a first world race
between
every peasant
with a hopeful
heart in a hand
waiting like a good girl,
waiting for a buyer
to whom to sell control,
GAWD bless a market,
reciprocal.
2 am
having cum for fun,
lover sleeping
in a one bedroom
bathtub living room
bathed in blue light,
soaking up cancer like it's destiny.
Guess what! I'm depressed as fuck.
Eat my medicine. Vitamin soup.
Fought fate for years, but
have since dismissed my fears.
THIS IS WHAT I AM,
wrote Nick13, in The Valley of Dreams.
I am what some might refer to as "zen"
Unfrozen, true enough to do
right by myself as I always should.
So, am I depressed?
Yeah,
but
I'm
good.
Wake. Eat.
I piss. I shit.
I toil. I play.
I sleep.
& I repeat it.
I repeat it.
&
if I had the choice,
I'd repeat it,
and I'd die, because I
fit just right as a future corpse
in the land of the living dead.
Seize it.
Believe it.
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