A young she wolf is born
Scorched fur of molten lava and heated coal
Flames consume her path
She leaves a soot trail
Ember eyes shine the spark of life
The animal instinct to hunt
And so she will hunt
Through the hell that surrounds her
The hell she creates
A paradise of flames
“The Fire in this Wolf lives”

a feeling
a beating heart

what more could be said about it

so sudden
so simply sweet

and that’s where we left it

with words
with glances

that could not foretell

the beauty
the sweet surprise

and together

we fell

Selfish needs
holding on
to old words
What could they ever mean now

Selfish deeds
to justify staying the night
by your side
What more could become of this

Selfish love
I am to blame

What was more startling than the intense roar of thunder
sounding through the ever growing darkness
beyond my door,
was the sudden realization
that nothing would ever be as it once was
and never would it be again

Though the rain must fall
to brighten the days ahead
nothing was certain now
nor of tomorrow
and tomorrow again

Certainty had vanished along with the thunder
and left the darkness
beyond my door

We write to reach out
to anyone
who is close enough
to read the words
that spill from our minds
Trying
without gain
for those that stop
to make them see
to make them stay
If only long enough to feel again
but as is the way of things
they linger for just a moment
then continue on their way
as the world stops for no one
and surely not for the troubled writer
lost in isolation
and ever searching
for a friend

Selfish needs
holding on
to old words
What could they ever mean now

Selfish deeds
to justify staying the night
by your side
What more could become of this

Selfish love
I am to blame

It wasn’t until I was certain
that you were gone
I realized how much it hurt
to know your presence would be
by my side
no longer
You let me go,
and now you linger on
in the bittersweet sense
of every breath
from here on out
refusing to let go of my mind
long after It was certain
you were never coming back.

Who could I thank
for this serenity
and the warmth that floods through me
each day when you’re all I see
I have no one to blame
and no one to hate
when you’re so good to me
I know when the day is done
and it gets harder
the warmth will be mine
and yours
to remember

If these streets could talk
they would whisper
holding on to the memories
Keeping them as silent as possible
but sharing them
to all those who
Listen.

With all that keeps me alive
The world that changes
with every flickering light
in the city
I see only one
Until each light goes out
my soul aches in the city lights
bringing comfort and pain
until I go out
With each light
I will go out

Set fire to my mind
before you warm my heart
I cannot survive
by your touch alone
Ignite my thoughts
into firey passion
or walk through the darkness
alone

Smile for me
once more
When the sun comes out
breathe it in
The day is yours
bright and full of wonder
Open your eyes
Don’t frown any more
You are more than
what you think
Shining so bright
the stars watch with envy
and sing your praises
for all to hear
When you smile
the world smiles with you
so smile for me
once more

It would be a grave mistake

to fall in love

with you

and because of this alone

I choose

not to

They speak silently
on troubled nights
whispering through the crowds
Somber voices
crying out
and soon
nothing else can be heard
through blaring deafness
in the loneliness of your mind
Listening
Remembering each word
and speaking up for all to hear
because you will reply to them
every night
you will reply

Remain in a state of wonder
that cannot be comprehended
by those around you
Be one with the earth
as a wandering soul
wide eyed
free
and changing

Faded memories
lose their colour
and conversation
Alive
but wearing thin
with each recollection
and overlapped
by the heartache
meetings
kisses
and partings
tomorrow holds so close
Destined to be replaced
and painfully short lived
So fades another day
and another
and another

Maybe I’m crazy
for saying something so brash and sudden
and maybe words
will never do me the justice
I seek
from telling you
that all I have craved this week
is to hear your gentle knock
at the door

I don't know
what brought me here
The shaded lighting
seems to bring me comfort
The strangers
and the bitter taste
fill me with warmth
I know
life is too short
to be in a place like this
yet
out of everywhere else in the world
I chose
to be here
with my glass
and my thoughts of you
to accompany me
through the night

If you leave
it is your decision
I will not follow you
or leave heartfelt messages
to return to me
to change your mind
and warm your heart
If you leave
you go alone,
but if you return
I will be here
just the same

Back before the hurt
I thought
I analyzed it all
and it had all made perfect sense
I was thinking it could not fail me
Now the damage is done,
thinking becoming no longer an option
No thoughts
No words
I was thinking
before
I do not think
anymore

If I choose to be awake
during the early hours of dawn
it is only so
I can stand before the morning sun
feel the warmth and light run through my veins
awaking me internally
and to remind me
how wonderful it is
to be alive

Pain goes through me intensely
as I think
of all the times that I cherish
Suffering for joy
a gamble to be made
In order to shut off from the world
and dream of past better days
Perhaps it is the memories themselves
worn out
from keeping me happy
day after day
driving me to recreate
what cannot be done
once more
Perhaps it is time
to let go

Broken bottles on the ground
Shards twisted
New pain
But nothing I haven’t felt before
Jagged pieces of red
It’s my fault
My own fault
Endless mistakes on my part
I am wrong
and I belong
with broken bottles on the ground

After receiving a box of matches
I counted every single one
Traced them with my finger tips
Breathed in the scent of future ignition
Closed my eyes
And set them all on fire

When the streetlights
turn their gaze
to the empty roads,
Leave your sight
in chipped glasses
and your love
in tipped wine
on the floor

Burn your gaze
to me
and move your words
through me
with this toxic love
of blinding mercy
to the lonely night
and the longing to share it
with another
until the sobering dawn

or let this be nothing more
than hazy remains
of a bitter night romance
of cheap wine
and empty words

A strong weariness
has taken over the worn out shell
that is my own
no amount of rest
can cure

As each day passes
more reasons will be made
to give into temptation
and revert to old habits
from simpler times

Though these thoughts will linger
they will be nothing more
than faint whispers through the night

If these days find ways
to go on
than I
must do the same

In your despair
you survive
wrapped in pain
no one could ever comprehend
and no one could save

You jumped
and yet here you are
bearing a gift
to ease the pain
of stranger sitting across from you
with tear stained eyes

You fill the world with light unknown to you
brighter than any darkness
and you do not mind
that thanks comes in the form
of an endless stream of tears

Your story
Your name
If only I knew
before it was too late
I would have treasured
every hour spent
in the cold and quiet
hospital room

And now
You fill my mind
With every crevice
you live on
and I live
for you

How foolish
that my reason to live
another day
comes from a small gift
from the stranger sitting across from me
with blood on her wrists
and a warm forgiving smile
on her lips

Who would ever know
that all the thanks I have
would belong to the golden heart
of a broken stranger

When I should have loved longer
I piled each excuse higher
towering between
distant thoughts
and sweet words
tipping the scale once and for all
amongst all the chaos
of trying to find myself

                                                           I lost you

Some nights
there are shadows behind me
Tall and somber
standing *****
and whispering
what I try
so hard
to forget
Only in the dead of night
the silent truths
and forgotten words of the past
come to die
In my arms
and I
weep for them

We are always falling
in hopes of finding something better
below,
but there are times we discover nothing more
than the concrete ground
and the shame of believing
there would always be someone out there
waiting to catch us

I stand
surrounded by mirrors
reflecting indecisiveness
hovering over each moments hesitation
to go on further

                                                                         or to remain
how can steps
be taken
without a direction
to follow

Please do not look at me
as though I have poisoned you
with my love
with eyes full of sorrow
brimming to the rim

Please do not talk to me
as though I have held a gun to your head
with my words
with eyes that stare through
the sadness
breaking in

Please do not look at me
as though I have walked away from you
without another word
even if
I have.

As a child
I quickly learned that if I blinked several times
and took a few deep breaths
I could stop myself from crying whenever I wanted
and it worked
From child to teenager
no one had ever seen me shed a tear
and I saw this as my own power
to hide my weak self from others
I could be strong
and benefit from my own shield
but it also made me seem detached
with the ones I cared for the most
I feel that one day It’ll happen
I will burst into tears after years of waiting
but I fear
If I start crying
I just may never stop.

Wrapped in a blanket of blue
steadily breathing
blissful to the world
How I envy
So full of joy
of all the goodness the world has to offer
Unscathed and unbruised
My only wish is to bask
in the light of the world
that took you in with loving arms
and held you close under the stars
so that I may be so lucky
as to shine with you

Should I be given the choice,
I walk the path
which frightens me most
because
we should exist
with bursts of life
to awaken our existence
rather than
to spend eternity
in endless slumber

The smoke does not bother me
any more than
the burning flesh
The scars will heal slowly
beneath my clothes
and I will turn my head
the other way
should anyone notice the ash on my skin
or the limp in my stride
because they are the only things you have left to control me
and I will heal
and I will move on
After all, like pain
you are only temporary

His voice reminded me of night rain
Deep intelligence sprung from the core of his mind
and bloomed into words
and I could sit for hours
listening to the night rain fall
without understanding why a single drop fell
so far away from home
Maybe it’s the comfort of words washing away the doubt
that creeps in on the brightest of mornings
that would cause me to welcome
a somber night of rain
with open arms
And when the rain stops
-as it has before
I will continue
stepping out of bus shelters
without thinking twice
and leaving umbrellas alone and forgotten
in the coffee shop
on the nights when I need them most
If I should be lucky enough
to feel again
I will speak in the night rain
to the lost souls hiding
in the bus shelters and forgotten umbrellas
looking out at the rain drops
and wondering why each one falls
so far from home

A little conversation
would mean the world to me
but this is how
it was meant to carry out
I can’t go back seasons ago
to say goodbye
and neither can you
Maybe a little conversation
is asking for too much
while waiting for months and years to pass
losing my mind
and seeing the world
A little conversation
is something to work for
When I’m old enough
to appreciate a friend
once more
I hope to see you again
for a little conversation

Listening to the thunder
the rain
the stories my mother tells me of our dark past
the music
Reflective.
Nostalgia.

Being who he is
it came as no surprise
that he could not be anything else
but alone
Shutting every door
until nothing but the looming shadows
from the drapery
remained

Four walls were needed
Four walls and no doors
Nothing that could be opened
or brought inside
to share the space

and it was always my place to stand
patiently
waiting for a welcome
that never comes

No longer
do I find joy
in the faces I see every day
and the voices I hear
around me
Looming clouds
have altered my vision
and now
nothing here is my own
and I do not live here
and I am not of this town
Perhaps all I had
was never mine to begin with
and now
I am lost
in a sea of doubt

I welcome the rain
like a long lost friend
who left long ago.
Offering no goodbye
because
no words were needed

I hold it close
as a mother her child.
wrapped in fleece
comforted
to the sound of a heart beat

I walk away
as a old lover does
to the only one he ever cared for
Loving whole heartedly
as time had run its course
and with a sad smile
turned away

I breathe
I live
And I will live to see the rain another day

Your name
burns my skin
grabs hold of me
tightly
and leaves
bitter taste
on my tongue
I was yours to devour until nothing remained
and with closed eyes
I will speak your name
one last time

So many questions
left unanswered
So many words
left unsaid
Flooding through the troubled minds
of the isolated
and forgotten
night after night
sitting alone
with hearts ablaze
staring at the moon

The more time spent alone
the more I find it intoxicating
The sound of steady breathing
the pages of a tattered novel slowly turning
my chair creaking to my shifting weight
as I foolishly try to get comfortable
on a brisk afternoon
When all is not as hectic as before
and my only concern
is my tea over cooling
before the chapter ends
When the whole world lies in my room
my book
my mug and chair
and the rest is tucked away
for a little while longer

The beating sun
chose not to burn me
In my hour of need.
The dancing flames
did not scald me
Through my sadness.
The fire within me
bonded us together
Lighting my fire
and
I
burned
brighter.

I spoke the blues
and you sang soul
caring me farther away
with every note
A song so sweet
for a moment
I cannot bear
the overwhelming love
and longing
to leave the blues
and live
lost in soul

Dusty shelves
and unfinished letters
Where could all the time have gone
So swift and subtle
away from my hands
with no letters to send
Laying on old books and magazines
while they all live
so far away
and I sit
with unfinished words to send
on dusty shelves
until we meet again

It burned me
from the center of my core
I know I am changing
weather I choose to or not
You lit my fire
My insides danced
I changed
You watched the fire burn my skin
and I watched myself change
Into someone I didn’t know
When the fire came over me
When I was forced not to care
looking on at my burning body
I emerged
I was not the same
I will never be the same
and you lit my fire
and you watched me burn

No one will be there save you
whenever you please
or listen
with sympathy

They smile when you fall
Hidden by masks
they laugh
but hide away
should you choose
to stand again

And you will stand again
because no one can ever hurt you
as long as you are there
to save yourself