How many emotions do we have?
cause I seem to have 5.
I love you
I hate you
I hate myself
I want to end it all
I need you
I can't decide which is me
so maybe you should just take a gamble for me<?
But gambling on 5 sided dice isn't something I recommend for you darling, because there's a 3/5 chance that I'll hurt you and I don't like those odds
Eight beers on a winter night
Already thrown up once
Let’s do it twice
Every weekend I come to
In a stranger’s arms
The incessant stranger
Their stale music
Their mixed drinks
Can’t stand against
Waves surging over
Sandbags I’ve drug
To the fringes of my
The demons feet echo
In the dark of the cave
Their shadows stretch thin
And gaunt, souls lost from the
Ether to haunt men ripped from
The arms of their mothers
One day, brothers and sisters
Will stand arm in arm
Quelling the flame of suffering
And the losers of the divine gamble
Will know the peace of an evening
Breeze rushing through the leaves of
Roll the bones
tumbling the dice
of every roll
wallowing, in vice
Crash the gate
have no doubt
way too late
no time to wait
just what, it's all about
playing with no cash
all you've got
or have, not
speeding, to the crash
Every past reminder
having been here, before
keepers, and finders
exiting the grinder
all the blood, and gore
it's all up to chance, so I do have a fair shot,
once I win, I will go home tall and proud.
gambling is bad, this my father once taught,
but his advice I ignored, lost in the casino's crowd.
what does he know of gambling? when he has never tried,
he only listened to the generations before him,
never feeling the joy I'm feeling, pathetic, I felt,
everyone should have a go at this gamble, it's fun.
winning a few rounds, confidence grows,
I up the bids, thinking of the future where I'm rich.
but wait! no way, how did he...
I thought the chance of that was one out of ten!
it's ok, calm, I can still win it back,
a few more wins shall do the trick,
I'll just win some more, win some....
FUCK, why is he so lucky!
losing and losing, losing and losing,
I'm out of cash, and out of dignity.
but hey? I can win those back, right?
and then the dice rolled again.
Because it comes by chance, some luck is a gift,
A rolling dice will dance in the cosmic abyss,
Even very seldom will your blessing have sample,
begging for your better days to take a gamble.
you can bet it all and lose all your pay,
and the ticking time-watch wastes it all away.
I don't see what he sees in me
He'll get to know then he'll flee from me
He'll get the key and won't like what he sees
He'll unlock me and leave to be free from me
He'll like me just for the sensuality
He won't be able to handle
The flame will go away
This relationship is just a candle
A scandal, it will dismantle
It's too much of a gamble
Like a fluttering caged bird, my soul begs to be free..
To write, to sing; to not be afraid of anything.
The future is never certain, a gamble at best..
But I am determined to live my life to the fullest with my best friends' heart within my chest.
No matter who you've been, where you've gone, or what you've done..
Each day begins with the rising sun.
A familiar longing from those in the know
An addiction, a want for just another go.
Convincing ourselves of control with
"I could stop whenever I choose".
But return, pretending it's a choice,
and join the queue to once again lose.
This cycle of return is the gambler's curse.
"Just one big win is all I need",
but you have to lose ten times that first.
We know the rules, we know the game;
Something inside though convinces us to play all the same.
Where to go? What to do to stop?
The way out is cold turkey but easy to do, that's not.
If the cycle doesn't end then relationships will start to break
And that's definitely a losing gamble that would make my heart ache
I need to get better,
I need to break free.
Today is the day I'm going to begin to be me.
I didn't know what to do,
admitting what is wrong tears me apart.
By writing this I've begun my journey,
and made this my fresh start.
I'm coming back here each day.
I will read this reminder to keep me on my way.