Wake me up
I'm laying down restless and rising exhausted,
sleepwalking where I should be inspired.
desire to change,
need to escape.
slowly drowning in the inevitable,
oxygen just out of reach,
smother my thoughts
suffocate spirit,
take passion and turn it mindless.
I don't feel much anymore,
my mind alive in catacombs.
tear me apart
//red//
break me down
//glass//
at least it’s not indifference
//grey//
lonely tile nights,
the voices in my head
don't scream as often anymore.
wake me up
hold me tight (you’re not alone)
know my name (you’re not alone)
this is not the story of insanity -
I'm taking my mad back
as I'm crawling from the underground,
giving voice to where I'm from.
let silence succumb to authenticity,
let pain fade into strength.
I'm rebuilding from self destruction,
tearing down the walls I set.
recovery revival renewal
maybe I'll feel something again.
until then
I am looking in the mirror to hold on,
I am screaming toward the empty,
reminding myself to be real;
hoping that my voice uncensored,
filled with truth,
laced with fire
will echo through the city that surrounds me,
ricochet through the hearts of those who need to hear:
this is not the end
this is not the end.
wake me up
I only know how to disappear.

Our time here is short,
So make the most of it while it lasts.
The only way is forward,
So don’t worry about the past.
Your past mistakes are gone,
So leave them where they are.
Your constant self imposed burden,
Is the only reason they live on.
Learn to let them go,
Before it is too late.
Your future will be brighter,
If you learn to let go of your mistakes.

I've fallen in love with Self-Deprecation.
I found her teetering the edge
of Self-Destruction

Testing Her limits with every acquaintance.

She lets Her life hang in the doorframe
either land on her feet
or the knot takes Her name

Teasing bad decisions with Svedka soaked sexts.

I've fallen in love with inception.
I left Self in an echo of a room
against cement bricks of incarceration.

Loving her was like
Being in headphones
Listen to your brand new and
Favorite cheesy song
Full of her dulcet words
And melisonant melody
I grokked nothing

I used to fell my heart
Wandering in fantasy place
My spirit lavitating in paradize sky
Of her thoughts
Squinting a pierced glance
With pleasure and admiration
Of her love

I felt like she had made for me
I used to eye her in
My dreams
Together flying with wings
diving in daisy full of drainage
In form of the clouds
Smiling like bitten eggplants on top
I thought she was my answer
Until she comes and
Take them away from
My poor pate
And threw them away in horizon
Loneliness was the only mate
She left me with.

Now i have a backpack full of
sorrow and pain
A bottle on the left side sac full
Of her lies and promises
Inside there is a book of our memories
Hanging with all staffs we did together
And a wax match in left back pocket of my jeans
And a black shovel in my right hand
I need to burn them all to ashes
And dig a long hole
And bury them painstakingly
To make sure they never haunt in
My mind

Cause i've realized
Maybe i need to love myself
First
Before learning how to
unlove the immersing her
And make her my sturdy confinement
So i have to follow my heart
And put the rest in *** hands
Cause i know my ***
Always win.

I look at you
You look up and away
You're ready to flee
From this deserted place
Sow your seeds, grow your roots
somewhere else

I inhale the dust
And circle the discoloured
wood

The living room floor was colder than usual
And the air was thinner than i remembered it to be
I know it's real, your face is here
and it breathes
along with the tress
on the outside
Seperate
from me

Desperate, i breathe slower
to be closer to you
but i cannot control my hearts racing thoughts
any longer

You left me,
stranded in bleak oblivion,
Despite all the love
I planted in your core
In faith for summer daffodils to bloom through your barren soul.

Your wielded words had crippled me time and time again
Paralysing my senses,
Until my sanity began to decay.

But now I've bled you out of my veins
And unto my paper for the last era,
Inking your name away
Untangling myself out of these chains.

The moment has come for me to let you go
After fifteen months, you’d think I already did so.

i want to listen to an inspirational song about a strong women,
a women with many battle scars,
who got over whatever i just did.

who got over it confidentally,
i just want to hear that someone relates.

but i guess no one relates to my foolishly going back to him whenever he calls,
he sticks kinves into my chest. but i will always run back.

why can't someone teach me the Art of Moving On. The Art of Forgetting You. But i guess no one is as foolsih as me.