Set fire to my mind
before you warm my heart
I cannot survive
by your touch alone
Ignite my thoughts
into firey passion
or walk through the darkness
alone

It would be a grave mistake

to fall in love

with you

and because of this alone

I choose

not to

We are always falling
in hopes of finding something better
below,
but there are times we discover nothing more
than the concrete ground
and the shame of believing
there would always be someone out there
waiting to catch us

So many questions
left unanswered
So many words
left unsaid
Flooding through the troubled minds
of the isolated
and forgotten
night after night
sitting alone
with hearts ablaze
staring at the moon

Wrapped in a blanket of blue
steadily breathing
blissful to the world
How I envy
So full of joy
of all the goodness the world has to offer
Unscathed and unbruised
My only wish is to bask
in the light of the world
that took you in with loving arms
and held you close under the stars
so that I may be so lucky
as to shine with you

When I should have loved longer
I piled each excuse higher
towering between
distant thoughts
and sweet words
tipping the scale once and for all
amongst all the chaos
of trying to find myself

                                                           I lost you

I feel no more sadness
I feel no more joy
They are far
beyond my reach
where I stand
between the roads
and crosswalks
unable to move
or hold on  
for very long
where nothing is left
that can be felt
and perhaps
this isn’t
a sad poem after all
for what is more heartbreaking
than sorrow from grieving  
and what is more empty
than joy without meaning
Perhaps it is best
to go on without feeling

A strong weariness
has taken over the worn out shell
that is my own
no amount of rest
can cure

As each day passes
more reasons will be made
to give into temptation
and revert to old habits
from simpler times

Though these thoughts will linger
they will be nothing more
than faint whispers through the night

If these days find ways
to go on
than I
must do the same

Being who he is
it came as no surprise
that he could not be anything else
but alone
Shutting every door
until nothing but the looming shadows
from the drapery
remained

Four walls were needed
Four walls and no doors
Nothing that could be opened
or brought inside
to share the space

and it was always my place to stand
patiently
waiting for a welcome
that never comes

Should I be given the choice,
I walk the path
which frightens me most
because
we should exist
with bursts of life
to awaken our existence
rather than
to spend eternity
in endless slumber

They speak silently
on troubled nights
whispering through the crowds
Somber voices
crying out
and soon
nothing else can be heard
through blaring deafness
in the loneliness of your mind
Listening
Remembering each word
and speaking up for all to hear
because you will reply to them
every night
you will reply

Pain goes through me intensely
as I think
of all the times that I cherish
Suffering for joy
a gamble to be made
In order to shut off from the world
and dream of past better days
Perhaps it is the memories themselves
worn out
from keeping me happy
day after day
driving me to recreate
what cannot be done
once more
Perhaps it is time
to let go

If you leave
it is your decision
I will not follow you
or leave heartfelt messages
to return to me
to change your mind
and warm your heart
If you leave
you go alone,
but if you return
I will be here
just the same

Please do not look at me
as though I have poisoned you
with my love
with eyes full of sorrow
brimming to the rim

Please do not talk to me
as though I have held a gun to your head
with my words
with eyes that stare through
the sadness
breaking in

Please do not look at me
as though I have walked away from you
without another word
even if
I have.

Your name
burns my skin
grabs hold of me
tightly
and leaves
bitter taste
on my tongue
I was yours to devour until nothing remained
and with closed eyes
I will speak your name
one last time

A world on the tipping scales
of joy and despair
To be left elated
over simple pleasures
and dejected
over days to come

What a curious thought
to walk a fine line
of truth and ignorance
unable to choose
which to follow
through the oblivion

What a curious life to lead
in sunshine and storms
to get dampened from the sun
just to bask in the rain

Where will you be
when it all begins to crumble

Standing idle and alone
as it slowly chips away
running out of breath
and words left
that could make sense of it all
Nothing remains in your grasp
and all is left
to chance

Where will you be
when it all comes crashing down

I stand
surrounded by mirrors
reflecting indecisiveness
hovering over each moments hesitation
to go on further

                                                                         or to remain
how can steps
be taken
without a direction
to follow

What was more startling than the intense roar of thunder
sounding through the ever growing darkness
beyond my door,
was the sudden realization
that nothing would ever be as it once was
and never would it be again

Though the rain must fall
to brighten the days ahead
nothing was certain now
nor of tomorrow
and tomorrow again

Certainty had vanished along with the thunder
and left the darkness
beyond my door

If I choose to be awake
during the early hours of dawn
it is only so
I can stand before the morning sun
feel the warmth and light run through my veins
awaking me internally
and to remind me
how wonderful it is
to be alive

Selfish needs
holding on
to old words
What could they ever mean now

Selfish deeds
to justify staying the night
by your side
What more could become of this

Selfish love
I am to blame

Dusty shelves
and unfinished letters
Where could all the time have gone
So swift and subtle
away from my hands
with no letters to send
Laying on old books and magazines
while they all live
so far away
and I sit
with unfinished words to send
on dusty shelves
until we meet again

Who could I thank
for this serenity
and the warmth that floods through me
each day when you’re all I see
I have no one to blame
and no one to hate
when you’re so good to me
I know when the day is done
and it gets harder
the warmth will be mine
and yours
to remember

Maybe I’m crazy
for saying something so brash and sudden
and maybe words
will never do me the justice
I seek
from telling you
that all I have craved this week
is to hear your gentle knock
at the door

When the streetlights
turn their gaze
to the empty roads,
Leave your sight
in chipped glasses
and your love
in tipped wine
on the floor

Burn your gaze
to me
and move your words
through me
with this toxic love
of blinding mercy
to the lonely night
and the longing to share it
with another
until the sobering dawn

or let this be nothing more
than hazy remains
of a bitter night romance
of cheap wine
and empty words

The world
is too big
and life
is too short

What now.

Back before the hurt
I thought
I analyzed it all
and it had all made perfect sense
I was thinking it could not fail me
Now the damage is done,
thinking becoming no longer an option
No thoughts
No words
I was thinking
before
I do not think
anymore

A little conversation
would mean the world to me
but this is how
it was meant to carry out
I can’t go back seasons ago
to say goodbye
and neither can you
Maybe a little conversation
is asking for too much
while waiting for months and years to pass
losing my mind
and seeing the world
A little conversation
is something to work for
When I’m old enough
to appreciate a friend
once more
I hope to see you again
for a little conversation

I spoke the blues
and you sang soul
caring me farther away
with every note
A song so sweet
for a moment
I cannot bear
the overwhelming love
and longing
to leave the blues
and live
lost in soul

Broken bottles on the ground
Shards twisted
New pain
But nothing I haven’t felt before
Jagged pieces of red
It’s my fault
My own fault
Endless mistakes on my part
I am wrong
and I belong
with broken bottles on the ground

a feeling
a beating heart

what more could be said about it

so sudden
so simply sweet

and that’s where we left it

with words
with glances

that could not foretell

the beauty
the sweet surprise

and together

we fell

With all that keeps me alive
The world that changes
with every flickering light
in the city
I see only one
Until each light goes out
my soul aches in the city lights
bringing comfort and pain
until I go out
With each light
I will go out

Selfish needs
holding on
to old words
What could they ever mean now

Selfish deeds
to justify staying the night
by your side
What more could become of this

Selfish love
I am to blame

Faded memories
lose their colour
and conversation
Alive
but wearing thin
with each recollection
and overlapped
by the heartache
meetings
kisses
and partings
tomorrow holds so close
Destined to be replaced
and painfully short lived
So fades another day
and another
and another

I cannot recall
the last time I sat alone
to think
enjoyed a full meal
or felt the warmth of love
weaken my knees
and that is enough
to spark worry in my soul

In my world
I am never lonely
I do not lack in possessions
or the adoration of a stranger
from time to time

Perhaps what I long for
rests in a world
beyond the city
and far away
from all I have worked
to achieve

Remain in a state of wonder
that cannot be comprehended
by those around you
Be one with the earth
as a wandering soul
wide eyed
free
and changing

If my mind refuses to carry on
It will be reminded
again,
what will be done
must be done
and I will force these thoughts
to remain
until this day is forgotten
and all other days
that have come
before it
Should words ever fail me
again,
my actions
will speak
louder.

What value does loneliness have
without personal reflection
what could be gained
from empty conversation
and what wastes time more
than standing in another's shadow

Light shines all around you
people pass by
with beautiful minds
like an open door
and the experiences
that linger in your thoughts
beg for explanation

After all,
we are here
for only a few short breaths
and what good is a life
not well lived?

His voice reminded me of night rain
Deep intelligence sprung from the core of his mind
and bloomed into words
and I could sit for hours
listening to the night rain fall
without understanding why a single drop fell
so far away from home
Maybe it’s the comfort of words washing away the doubt
that creeps in on the brightest of mornings
that would cause me to welcome
a somber night of rain
with open arms
And when the rain stops
-as it has before
I will continue
stepping out of bus shelters
without thinking twice
and leaving umbrellas alone and forgotten
in the coffee shop
on the nights when I need them most
If I should be lucky enough
to feel again
I will speak in the night rain
to the lost souls hiding
in the bus shelters and forgotten umbrellas
looking out at the rain drops
and wondering why each one falls
so far from home

Close to the edge
enough to feel the wind coaxing me closer
to lose such delicate balance

Today is not the day
for falling forward
into oblivion
losing sight of body
and living through soul alone

Today
I will fall back on doubt
however
in life
there is no charity
and fate grants no wishes

Tomorrow
I may not be as lucky

The seasons
have become longer
and more thoughtful
with their visits
taking time
to watch the robins take wing
and the golden leaves fall
perhaps
it is time
I did so
as well.

Standing on the outside
looking in
unable to reach
what I cannot hold

Time played its part
and now I am just a name in your mind
without a body

Words fail me
as I become lost
in your loneliness

wrecked
by my own desperation
to never leave your side

but your walls are up
and I can only be
standing on the outside looking in

praying
you remember
to breathe

He told me
to reach for the stars
but don’t do it alone

What choice did I have
when no one saw the stars
the same way
no one adored the moon
and danced through the night
as I did

                                                          or­ so I thought.

Until he brought the stars down
for a single night
That was when
I realized
amongst all that I had ever wanted
he was all
I had ever loved.

Some nights
there are shadows behind me
Tall and somber
standing *****
and whispering
what I try
so hard
to forget
Only in the dead of night
the silent truths
and forgotten words of the past
come to die
In my arms
and I
weep for them

It wasn’t until I was certain
that you were gone
I realized how much it hurt
to know your presence would be
by my side
no longer
You let me go,
and now you linger on
in the bittersweet sense
of every breath
from here on out
refusing to let go of my mind
long after It was certain
you were never coming back.

I don't know
what brought me here
The shaded lighting
seems to bring me comfort
The strangers
and the bitter taste
fill me with warmth
I know
life is too short
to be in a place like this
yet
out of everywhere else in the world
I chose
to be here
with my glass
and my thoughts of you
to accompany me
through the night

We write to reach out
to anyone
who is close enough
to read the words
that spill from our minds
Trying
without gain
for those that stop
to make them see
to make them stay
If only long enough to feel again
but as is the way of things
they linger for just a moment
then continue on their way
as the world stops for no one
and surely not for the troubled writer
lost in isolation
and ever searching
for a friend

Smile for me
once more
When the sun comes out
breathe it in
The day is yours
bright and full of wonder
Open your eyes
Don’t frown any more
You are more than
what you think
Shining so bright
the stars watch with envy
and sing your praises
for all to hear
When you smile
the world smiles with you
so smile for me
once more

The ink spills on the page
and I know
these words are hard to come by
Pooling to the rim
my unwritten words lay
unable to keep on the page
unable to say to you
what must be heard
The wind picks up
calling out my fears
I will never know where you are
or If my name
holds any purpose
in your world
or mine
The ink falls over the page
and so do I

I guess this is goodbye.

I tried my best to miss you
during my lonely walks home
I wore the clothing I knew loved
and carried your ring with me
wherever I went

but I couldn’t help but wonder
why I was trying
so hard
to miss something
I didn’t

I stopped trying to see you
in every man I met
and every kind voice I heard
and soon
you found your way
to the back of my mind
and that’s where you stayed
because
you belonged
nowhere else.