I will cut you out of the picture of my life. I will take a scissors, to these complex memories and hack your influence out. It took me months to buy the scissors, years to get to the shop but I got here, I have them. I will hear sharp snips as I cut across the images that are burned in my mind. No longer will my thoughts wander towards you. No more, will I allow my feelings to be clouded by a person who dug their words into my lungs and shattered my ribs with boots made of malicious intent, of careless incompetence, of clueless mockery. I will use the scissors to cut your burning strings, wrapped around these cheap candles. A chord cutting spell, Dust beneath my heel The memories I cannot cut I will burn. I'll light a match on the bridge you burned. You said people never change, so killing current you’s influence In revenge for past you’s violence is righteous, it is fair. I'll sharpen their blade on the soul you hardened. I'll rip up the pictures if I have to, claw you out. I'd sacrifice that part of my memories I'd happily **** the old me entirely to take you too, To cut you out of the picture of my life.
I love you, for real I do, I don't know when I started, I have no idea I have fallen this deep either You complete my day with your smile You are everything I was praying for But you hurt me, I was broken by your words you know. I have my fears too, I am not that brave either You gave up before it even began What if you hurt me, you think I am not worried about that too, of course I am but each time I think about you I know I can get through those fears, I love you that much But I cant force it so I am going to let go. Yeah it hurting me big time but I will heal again I am not going to forget you but I am going to live like I do before I met you. I hope you find love when you heal.
It was a long time ago I still love you though I want to grow But you're holding me back Keeping me off track Every time I try to let go It makes my heart crack I'm afraid of breaking But you left my heart aching ~26/3/21
I used to have a crush on someone but we moved away and it's kinda hard forgetting him.
Floating on a still river I begin to break and shiver For I am all withered and broken And for being alive, I appreciate this token I remember my green past Yet it faded by quite fast Is this how long I will actually last? I had let go of my branch Now I’m drowning in this watery avalanche Nothing to hold onto any more I break the closer I am to shore ~11/3/21
Something happens every night at sunset. Blue turns to yellow. Hot fluorescent pink and red. Do you watch the sunset every night like I do?
I want to chase you like I want to chase the sun across the sky. All the way to Oklahoma and across New Mexico, pink mountains and ochre deserts. And then to the ocean, dazzling light on every wave. I'll chase the sun all around the earth and never live in darkness. One perpetual morning. A fresh cup of coffee that never goes stale.
And then somehow it flutters open again. The memory of the way you made me feel; the way I felt; that it's all so fleeting after all. Why do people go away?
The creek runs heavy in spring. Rushing, rushing, rushing. But, I can't place my finger on what the stream is, after all. Each particle moving so fast---it's gone before I can perceive it. A current, moving in a constant state of change.
I stared too long at the stream last week and that night I dreamt it as clear as day. I dream of you, too, sometimes. My face buried in your neck. You smell like a memory. Like an illusion.
Now the moon is full like the street lamp. This is the hour when parents get scared and call you in. Every shadow plunged to deep velvety blues. The smell of grass on my trousers. Crickets singing up the stars. Am I safe in this moment? Am I safe here?
We're laughing. It's the moment the laugh rises. I want to reach out and put you in my pocket before the release. Before it's over. Please don't go.
This. This is craving.
Love is something very very least expected. Love is letting go. Love is the exact opposite of the fear of losing. Love is wherever you are, wherever I am, cool and calm and going with the flow.