I allowed you to exist
in this place of confusion deep within me somewhere between my chest that was heavy with sadness and my stomach that felt flutters of hope and I could never reach you there You liked to get close to one place or the other but you never wanted to exist completely in either place just in between
I might have tried, but guess. I'm done.
I keep trying, I keep coming in, but you build a wall on us. I'm stucked. Between, rather to wreck your wall or step back. To the place where I belong, Because I know. I do realize, I'm not your home. I can't be one. And I'm not, and can't be yours either. Sorry.
I’ve been so busy these past few years struggling to hold my sealing up.
Trying prevent it all form fall apart. But in the end it’s to much. so you just let go and let it all…. fall. It’ll break your heart But then you’ll realize that it’s a whole new world out there. you just been using power, on something that only made you weaker
Breaking doors that got jammed
so I can just run away to be free. Today I’m letting go of who I was to become who I really would be. Leaving the past into places unknown where my memories would never crawl. Climbing high walls that are not my own in the only hope that I would never fall. Fighting demons every now and then, hoping they would die and rest in peace. Trying to win battles just from my pen, only then I would find my real release.
I don't know how to do it
how to let people go people who I don't need I'm too worried about them I know I should be worried for me
Who was it that decided that a knot should be so painful to untie?
Sometimes, a tie is loose, It has no purpose, It is old, It decays! So why do we hang on? Why don’t we just allow the knot to be broken when its clearly no longer functional? Its quite sad really. How a knot becomes so weathered when two ends just can’t let go.
It's cold out side
Snow is falling down Light is shining Kids are playing in the white glittering I am sitting inside Falling down in the void Light is dimming My mind is playing with memories The sun is warming body's Everything looks so cozy Lanterns are lit The feeling of warmth is spreading My body is cooling down I feel like I am going crazy My eyes are closing My body is cooling down Out side the sun has set Darkness a rises People are moveing inside Curtains are closing My mind has set me free I see the light at the end of the tunnel Thoughts are popping up The path has been found You did something I wish it was different My life has been hurt Body has been cut You are not worth it The pain, the cutting I can't let the control go I am the one who owns it
to hate is all we know
it is safety but what fool mistakes strangulation for affection. although you have surrendered your icy grip on my heart in the early hours cold fingers still pry my eyes open so you can seep into the edge of my vision when i dream, you sleep beside me when I breathe, you are in my lungs a whisper a steady rhythm a constant reminder to be burdened is all we know it is safety but despite that i exhale and i let you go
guess who's still surviving ****