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Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
My dreams are heavy,
that I often wake up
gasping for air.

My dreams are dark,
etched with loss and heartaches
that I wake up searching
for happiness.

My dreams feel real,
that I often **** up
trying to soak in reality
when emotionally and mentally
I feel the residue of the trauma
of being dragged through those lands.
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
Once upon a time,
I dressed in fluffy frocks
and wore tiaras
believing I was a princess.

Now that I am older,
I find myself dressing in others skin
believing mine wasn't worthy
of being worn.
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
There are days,
when she feels lost in the universe
that exists in her mind;
overthinking herself to oblivion.

There are days,
when she feels she is downing
in the depths of her thoughts.
Drowning in the sea of her emotions,
tears turning into high tides
destroying peace of mind.

Night bleeds into morning
Sun dissolves the moon

She wants to come out for a breath
and just breathe the light air.
Feel the lightness of it,
as it enters her lungs -  
the simplicity of it.

She is losing more of herself.
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
It’s hurting
I can’t make it stop
You can’t take away the pain
I want it to stop
But it keeps clawing at my heart
It keeps raging in my mind
It keeps rotting in my veins
So,
I let the drugs take away the pain
Nicotine flows through my veins
And I escape.
Sabila Siddiqui Apr 2018
Toxic love spilling
Aroma of fumes diffusing
Vision blurring
Combusting heart beating
Manipulated brain thinking
Cancerous wounds multiplying
Contagious words infecting
Every lasting stain remaining
Fading clarity in this reality
A crumbling position, grabbing irregularity
Pure toxic entanglement
Slowly dying
There is no denying
For it is a cunning grotesque addiction
Sabila Siddiqui Aug 2019
Eid Al Adha;
Eid of Sacrifices
and the celebratory end of Hajj.

Purity abides around their heart
as souls are blessed with the
sown seeds of joy.

Allah hu Akbar;
takbir echoes
as devotees congregate in
every mosque nearby.

They wear embellished clothes,
extending their hearts to one another
and capturing the ecstasy
in every single encounter.

Sentiments are reciprocated,
and gratitude is manifested
on such an occasion
as we recall the origins of the
reason we sacrifice;
and that is to follow the order of Allah,
as Prophet Ibrahim did.
Sabila Siddiqui Feb 2018
An ocean;
an urge
A waterfall all ready to pour out
But not a single drop trickles down.
It’s all in
drowning
and
swimming;
gasping
and
breathing;
emotional
and
impulsive.
I am crying words,
for there are no tears.
Sabila Siddiqui Mar 2018
I watched her muscle pace with confidence,
her brain slip her tongue
and her skin glow.

She was much more pretty
intelligent
stronger, smarter
better in any way I was.

In her presence,
my flaws started to pile
Insecurities started to rile
fear started to snare
and jealousy started to flare
as self-doubt enwrapped me in its flames.

But my dear,
there was no good in tearing her down.
For prying on her weakness,
was not going to paint you into completeness.
Picking out her flaws,
wasn't going to bring about any applause.
Spreading rumors about her,
wasn't going to make you any popular.
Labeling her with names,
wasn't going to bring peace to your flames.

No, my dear
the answer lied
in your flesh
your tongue
your story
your lines
your curves
your passions.
The answer lied in the very acceptance of yourself.

For that's when you will find intimidation
to be wiped with inspiration.
That's when you'll realize your rivals were never your rivals
but your allies, tribe, and companions.

So compliment,
encourage,
nurture,
love
and support yourself
and the woman around you.

Enflame hearts of others,
build one another
embrace them with understanding
and enchant their soul with compassion.

Unshackle yourself and unshackle them.
Learn from them,
applaud them,
bring out the best in them
and surround yourself with women who do the same.

Because my dear,
this is the time you'll realize how blessed you are to be surrounded by such strong, resilient and inspiring woman
who help you move forward.
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
There is a hole that exists within me,
no pain,
just a sunken hollow.
A constant emptiness
and a feeling of terrible,
terrifying loneliness.

My heart latches onto people,
sometimes even to the ones
who may not know my name.

I can create or feel
love and comfort from them.
I embed them into the figment
of my imagination,
for they are always there to stay.

But once their souls
leave my reality,
the figment starts to fade.

Once the feelings are no longer there
my heart,
my mind
become a sunken empty hole
waiting to be filled once more.

But people,
feelings are so temporary.
For the only fill was self love,
self acceptance,
and connection with god.
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
Escape ,
that's what I would do
when things would get tough.
I would binge,
dream, eat, read & scroll.

I would create another world
where I would live,
free to be.
The place I would
forget about my happenings,
but this was not reality.

I would procrastinate and escape,
but my reality would await
to cuff me away.

With every escape,
my reality would become
a struggle to face

To everyone I was living life
but was I?
For my body was anchored to this world
While my head flew to another

Then came a time
When I no longer wanted to hide
Even though I knew
I did not have the appetite
Because my reality had
become so hard to emotionally swallow
But there was no choice
but to face

Courage
Step by Step
Patience through it all
Change finally came across
And my reality had become a better place
Sabila Siddiqui Aug 2018
In the midst of escaping
I no longer knew who I was.
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
Everything happens for a reason,
one of the important lesson I learnt with the change in season
and people.

Some moments hurt, scar and engrave
an important lesson.
Protecting you from future treason
Making you deal with it even better.
Some moments exhilarate happiness and positivity
Fueling you with love and treasuring the memories.

Some people come as blessings
Building homes in our hearts;
Helping us sail turbulent waves;
Acting as starlights in our dark sky.
While some leave us lessons
Vacating their homes in our hearts.

Twist is some, come back
and some only stay a flashback.
Some are are sent for exile
and some come back to reconcile.
People come and go.
Some drawing a smile on our face;
creating a beautiful and positive impact.
But leave for certain reasons,
To those people I am thankful,
to have had my paths cross with them.
And grateful to the ones who’s chaos and storms,
I survived and bloomed from.
Not forgetting about the ones who stayed
even when some left,
Appreciating them for still standing by my side till the very end.
Here’s to ones who drifted and faded. Here’s to the ones who became closer. Here’s to the ones who left, leaving me to bloom. Here’s to the loyal ones, who fueled with me love and strength. Here’s to the ones who who came back, making me believe in forgiveness, hope and chances.
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
There is something wrong
about the place, I belong.
Ever since you came along
everything has changed
but has it really changed?
or have I just changed?

The friends with whom I ranged
through their thickets are estranged.
They are the same
but their masks seem to be coming off.
Was it all fake and just a part of a game?

Now I am afraid to relapse to when I was seventeen,
the time I had no ear to tell my thoughts to,
for they would leave, judge, not understand and rumor me away.

All alone and bottled up;
I had only a paper to listen to me.
My innocence and guilt is withering
no one's heart is there to grasp
no one's hand is there to to hold.
Many may offer, but it no longer seems real no more.
Trust has been dissolved by the words that held no meaning.

My emotions are no longer the same.
My love is no longer pure.
My attachments are no longer etched to hearts no more.

The year is coming to an end
and everyone is leaving,
Even the ones I thought would never leave.
Although, they are still there physically
none seem to be left in my heart anymore

You may have changed everything,
the way I see people closest to me
But if I held on to you,
and let go of everyone around me;
the day you leave,
will leave me with no one by my side.

So I'll let everyone stay physically,
even when they've deserted me in internally.
I am going to try grasp myself,
The ever-changing soul within me
For I myself should be enough to keep on going.
Sabila Siddiqui Mar 2018
What kind of exhaustion is this?
The one that lingers under the creases of your eyes
Heavying body-cells to your bed
And yet being unable to slip into sleep.
Sabila Siddiqui Mar 2018
I don't know what it is to
live a balanced life.
For I tear at the seams,
and live in extremes.

When happiness embraces me,
I do not smile
But become the sun;
that glows, shine and gleams.

When sadness enwraps me
I don't drizzle, I rain
I become the hurricane of blue,
the abyss of the starless sky;
I become the void.

When anger smolders me;
I don't yell, I burn out my sanity
I become the boiling blood
and the explosion of heat.

When loss deprives me
I do not grieve, I do not tarnish
I break, shatter and tear
I become the heart that does not beat but bleeds.
I become the wailing wind that breezes through the cypress trees.

I am either cold like Vinson Massif
or soft like a marshmallow
For I am the one who experiences no in between.
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
An act of care,
a word of kindness,  
a shed of attention
and I am all ready
to flow love into your heart,
secrets into your ears,
letting you wander in
to my mind and heart
trusting you with all what I got.
Sabila Siddiqui Mar 2018
You were made of words;
A description brought to life
A creation of my imagination
Someone who can be mine.

your wordy essence clinged to my skin
and aura spread through my nerves
making ever cell fall in love.

It was the type of love that ran deeper than skin
and deeper than for the people I knew that exist.
Sabila Siddiqui Feb 2018
Word by word
Page by page
She was only a few chapters in
But she was already in love.
Sabila Siddiqui Feb 2018
It was more than falling for your appearance
It was about the thoughts
that ran through your mind
It was about the love
that every cell of mine felt
It was about the words
that made you, you
Drowning me in the depths of who you are
It was about your soul
that made every nerve spark
Falling in love with you was inevitable;
Even though I was only a few chapters in.
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
Fear,
you make my body quake
leave cracks in my esteem
and invite doubts
to harbor and fester as you
send a shiver down my spine
to drown my fire.

Fear,
you soak up all the syllables.
that I was to mutter
so I stumble
and stand there mute
with my stomach heavy with nausea.

Fear,
I take guilt bites
as I am lost in panicky howls.
while you lay out procrastination unevenly
and drink from the reservoir of my energy.

Fear,
you trick my potential
wipe out my credential
leave nothing but
raspy and rough remnants for me
to draw from.

Fear,
you rule the beats of my heart
pulling me out at the first hello.
you grip me,
whisper obscurely
whilst darkness grasps my sense
and wraps my dreams with dark matter.

Fear,
with you my my soul
remains parched like the desert,
and my brain wrecked with nervosity
as the sensation spreads across my body.

But Fear,
I want to be one step ahead
of you this time.
I don’t want my fate to collapse
beneath your decisions.

Fear,
I want to spell courage louder
than your stifling whispers
as I embrace opportunities
regardless of how daunting and risky you paint it to be.
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
Sometimes,
we are scared of letting someone in
because we don't want to entangle them in our chaos.

Sometimes,
we fear to reach out for the hand of others
while we are drowning
because we don't want to pull them in.

Sometimes,
we are scared to cling on to the hearts of others,
because we don't want to leave them scarred.

Sometimes,
we scarred to get close,
because we will push them away
and it is just unfair.

Sometimes,
we are so willing to be destroyed
by the pain within us, than to destroy anyone else.
Sabila Siddiqui Feb 2018
Losing people is hurtful.
But finding yourself from it all
makes the pain worthwhile.
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
There is a whisper,
a voice so soft
that it goes unheard
amongst the bustling people.

There is a voice,
if you focus you will hear.
For it dances to different rhythm
and moves differently than other tongues.

It is a voice,
that speaks to you.
Whispers to you all day long
indicating what's good
and what's not.
It knows,
when no one else knows
what's right for you.

So learn its height,
learn its breadth,
learn its origin
learn its trail
and its ends
because it's all for you
to test.
Sabila Siddiqui Dec 2018
When you lay there
thinking your life does not matter,
every exhalation meaningless
every unfaltered lub dub wasted.
Go out there
and make a difference in someone's life.

Help,
be compassionate
give yourself a sense of purpose.

Because it is then
when you will breathe life
into your life.

When you will find
yourself grounded and rooted
rather than swaying like the wind
and allowing time
to slip like grains of sand unnoticed.

Allow fluffy clouds
of magical wisps
to fill your head
and propel you forward
to fill you with color
and life.

So choose to bring peace and joy
to someone else and yourself
for you will not be just be surviving
but bringing significant difference
in your own beautiful way.
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
To the galaxy,
to my world of fantasy.
The place where my heart is at zero gravity
and all the constellation fall into place.
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
She gave away the petals of love,
leaving the thorny stems behind.
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
Writers,
poets,
artists,
songwriters
bleed pain into art.

But don'y you understand
pain is not art.
They embellish pain,
to cement the heartache.
They craft darkness
hoping to enlighten.

But in the end,
agony is agony,
no matter how you express,
how you make it bleed.

Emotions from words,
on tear stained pages
captivate readers
making them believe there
is solace in darkness
and leave them forlorn to be adorned.

But their intention was not to
glamorize plan but rather to let it be
their outlet of expression,
therapy and to create.

In the end there is no substitute,
agony is agony,
grief is grief,
illness is illness
and that what it will be.
Sabila Siddiqui Nov 2018
Deeper than the captivating shape it has,
Lies a greater purpose it stands for.
So vast and strong,
It rotates laterally
and extends at your will.

It stands strong, defying gravity
cushioning you for your comfort
and holding your pelvis still.

So appreciate it for more than it's curves;
stand tall and thank your behind
when you bend.

For it is greater than
it seems.
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
2017 -
The year that broke some more illusions
The year that invited some more people
But also drove away some people.

A year of juxtaposition and contradiction
A year of memories and lessons
like any other year; just different.

2018 -
The clock strikes 12 and you enter
as the person who changed over the 365 days
and embrace the ride of highs to memories
and lows to lessons in the coming 365 days.
But you know it is just a change in number
even though it feels like an end to something
heart breaking and soul shaking
and the beginning of something different and beautiful.
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
Whispers echoing in a trusted ear,
spoken to another ear.
Echoing louder than once before,
exaggerated and twisted
for you find everyone knows
those whispers you called secrets.
As it spread like a chain,
to one trusted person of theirs
to the next
The identity of those whispers
are no longer secrets but rumors.
Sabila Siddiqui Mar 2018
Verbalizing out her interests
attracted opportunities.

She planned to play with every insecurity,
learning, growing and blooming
with every opening.

She just had to take a chance
for the possibility.
Event hough she was dubious and stuttering.

But soon there would be rhythm and fluency
and there she would find unity in
a community.
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
A vile of acid on your tongue.

You words are like toxins I inhale,
suffocating every breath I take,
injecting self doubt in my veins.
Muscles trembling with every pace,
landfiling my heart with every beat.

Blaming and calling
crazy and emotional
in response to your says,
leaving me to question
my own sanity everyday.

You felt like a insidious catalyst;
a cancerous wound,
a rabid havoc,
a malicious destruction
withering me in the subtlest of ways.

But here we are once again,
rekindling old flames
even when we know it's poisonous for us to stay.

Don't know if we're too weak to leave
or are too mindlessly lusting
for the poison to infiltrate our bloodstream
and corrupt us  to our cellular level.

Either way, it's a grosteque addiction
for the soul, mind and heart.
Sabila Siddiqui Nov 2018
Happpiness what do you taste like?
Are you the sweet taste of cloudy cotton candy on my tongue
Or the warm coffee I drink in the morning?

Happiness what color are you?
Are you the yellow color of sunshine beaming in the morning
Or the calming ocean blue?

Happiness what do you sound like?
Are you the soothing voice that says I love you
Or the laughter that vibrates my ear drum?

Happiness what do you feel like?
Are you embracement in her hug
Or the feel of the way that this pen feels as I let it craft and stroke my emotions into lines?

Happiness are you the vibrant energy of her presence?

Because my senses are numb to you
and all I sense is the abyss,
while warm tears trail down my cheeks
and I feel nothing.
Sabila Siddiqui Feb 2018
Selfless love
pours out like a waterfall
from her loving and caring heart
nurturing all who would drink from it.

Courage seeps from every inch of her muscle
protecting and guarding
For she is our guardian angel.

Her heart beats at a different frequency
But resonates with each one of ours
Embracing and harmonizing
creating a beautiful symphony.

Like a sunshine
she refuses to eclipse
radiating positivity and happiness
To the deepest, darkest of corners.

Encouraging, rearing and believing
pushing and advising
she gave and gave
planting flowers in our gardens
helping us bloom
and bringing the best versions of ourselves forth.

Unconditional and pure is her love
Patient is her soul
She is our mother
And a very happy birthday to her!
Sabila Siddiqui May 2018
Mother,
The epitome of love.

A star made of combustion
Of crimson and wild blue.
Her smile like a cresent
shining bright
from an afar Galaxy.

Mother,
Vibrant as sun rays,
And soft like the moonlight.
Tremendous as lightning,
enlightning the dark sky
with a spark.

Mother,
The paintbrush
that paints vibrancy
on the dullest of days.

Mother,
A soul that burns with ferocity,
Whos hands are always busy
scrubbing, moulding, cooking
But her touch always caressing with love.

Mother,
Who's voice can be the ocean
Calming and soothing
Or as loud as the seas
Roaring and crashing in a storm
bursting away personal confinement.

But she rows
Even through the sea of troubles.
Nothing is too heavy
She marches on.

Mother,
Who sacrifices and compromises
To deepen skies
and hand stars to hold.

Mother,
Who's love I cannot comprehend and stomach
For she grows flowers from pain,
Inhaling O2
And Exhaling O3
Transfiguring weeds into garden for us to play.

She is the incarnation of love.
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
I sat there like a museum of moments,
a mosaic of emotions
as she dissected my personas
and did an autopsy of my past.

Memories climbed my spine
from the forgotten attics in my heart
with every question, she asked.

But my tongue was a drought
and my voice box was a rust box,
as the child in me
was bullied into quietude.

My edgy, messy and raw memories
molded my perception,
rewrote my interpretation
and deepened my experience.

There was underlying vengeance
as the layers of fabricated scabs were scrapped
to disclose the deeply entrenched, tender emotional scars.

As the present, struck a cord
my limbs would turn into cement
as the echo would bring me back
to the endless street of time
and I would be dragged
through open wounds within me.

The pain would seep in the nooks
and crannies of my soul.
At every jibe and remark
one more part of my flesh
would be chiseled away.

The sky would join in my sorrow
as the clouds gathered like sheep
summoned by a shepherd
and then we would begin to weep
our unresolved issues
onto tissues.

I revisited the bathrooms
that became sanctuary in high school
with its gossip soaked walls
and tear-stained countertops.

I dream of the people
that have lost their way in my memory;
a fabrication of nostalgia.
But the tranquility of waves,
can’t even erase the memories of their wrongdoings.

My past engraved itself
into my muscle memory
ingrained its teachings
and matured my sensibility.

The dim shadows that would creep
And the blues that I would pour
are becoming budding flowers in my chest.

Weaving from the same web
I was entangled in
building from the same sorrows
I was drowning in.

I began connecting,
understanding its stem
stitching my memories.

I write for my younger self
who felt silenced and erased by the world.

I shape all the tainted pieces of memories
into art and paint shades of my past
as each is soaked in a memory.

I craft subconscious relief,
breathing memories
into 6 alphabets
that were strung into paragraphs,
beginnings and end.

I reached out to corners
to bring out
sunrises and sunsets
and reignite dying embers
as I de-spell the damage that silently reverterbrates through generation.

I find home in my skin
and love myself, whole;
Shadows, crevice and all.
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
You told me not to be “sensitive” 
So here I am trying to deflect,
but I end up absorbing the pain of your words,
the intricacies of this world,
pretending not to care about what is said 
and has happened.

I hold the tears in,
place a mask on my face,
and a lock on my lips
so that none would spill.

But now I feel numb
unaware of how I feel
and unable to cry.

Now, here you are
calling me emotionless.

I guess there was no in between;
either a heart of ocean
or a heart of stone.
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
Her demons,
wiped away her fear
as they made her fall in love with them
and dance with them
when the only comfort in her
loneliness was them.
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
Hiding emotionally,
physically avoiding,
and verbally masking by lies.

We pretend that we are alright,
turning it all invisible
In the eyes of one other,  
so that we don’t let the worry flow,
so that we don’t let the disappointment brew.
But it flows into the ears of others.

Leaning on their shoulders for comfort,
where comfortability now thrives.
We now look in the eyes
of one another
with body containing secrets,
pretending to be alright
and happy.

I guess,
that’s where the trust started to wither
and comfortability started to fade,
for we found comfort on others shoulders.
Sabila Siddiqui Feb 2018
Bathrooms became sanctuary in high school;
with tear stained countertops,
gossip soaked walls.
Even the constipated souls
had motion.

Pressing their hands against the ceramic demilune sinks
they would let their tears flow like water through the faucet,  
until they found comfort in the arms of another.

Hours spent before, between and after classes
they found comfort and friends
in the conversation that flowed in the bathroom.

Checking themselves over and over again
with the reassuring voices, “you look great” from behind.
Some walk in and hide behind the door of the lavatory stalls,
flushing away sadness,
and washing on a smile on to their face.

Like the granite in the slabs, the memories made
will will be hard to wear off.
The memories made through raw conversation in the bathroom
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
I know you're hurting,
and it seems everything is breaking
apart from every angle.

You feel your thoughts,
and emotions are weighing
your mind and heart.

You feel the days
are dragging you along with it.
You want to be alone,
you push away everyone around you.

I know your contemplating
between giving up,
you feel there is no light.

You feel it's tough,
overwhelming and draining.
You feel the darkness in you
is growing, consuming you cell by cell.
and you just don't fight anymore.

You just want it to stop.
But, I just want you to hang in
there a little longer.

I want you to hold on to the people
who love you even though you feel
there aren't any.

You are loved.
You matter.
Even when you feel
no one can save you,
even when you feel
no one can reach you.

But there is hope as long as there is life.
I want you to breathe.
Just have faith.
Because there is
something greater within you
than the pain or obstacle
you experience and encounter.
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
How do I explain to you the feeling of
inadequacy when someone loves or compliments?

How do I explain to you the fear of being a disappointment
or not having climbed up to someone's level of expectation?

How do I explain when without warning I am plagued
with self doubt, layered with chaotic-heavy-blues
and harboring insecurities?

How do I explain when I don't want
these thoughts to matter?
when I just want them to be deprived
of care that they die within,
and never surface to my skin.

But somehow like the crashing waves
they envelope me in the depths and like
the black hole **** me from within.
Sabila Siddiqui Feb 2018
I am afraid to say sorry,
I am afraid to be soft.
For when I am hurt,
I become stone-cold.
I hold back my tears,
bite my lower lip from trembling
So you see no signs of weakness.
I become inhumane
And show you no weakness.
I'll ignore what you say
While it slowly breaks me from within.
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
I’m a paradox.
I say I don’t care,
when I really do.

I say I don’t need someone
to ask me how I am,
while I am longing them to.

I say my voice matters
and act as though it doesn’t.

I want someone to know my emotions
when I haven’t told them
and never want to tell them either.

I want to be happy
but I think of sad thoughts.

I am lazy,
yet I am ambitious.

I crave attention,
love and support
but reject when it
comes in my way.

I am strong,
yet run back to the ones who hurt me.

I am a conflicted contradiction.
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
My voice is not a font
My face is not pixelated
My life isn’t a snap
My emotions aren’t emoticons
My love isn’t a tap
My compliments aren’t comments
I am not down there,
but up here .
Sabila Siddiqui Feb 2018
I am not okay
And sometimes that’s all I can get myself to say.
For I don’t know how to explain
There is no pain
But there is an ache.
There are no thoughts
But there is chaos.
There is an urge to cry
But no tears to shed.
There is nothing
But there is something
Unexplainable and numb
Light and heavy
Suppressing and dark
There is something unknown
which is making me feel
Queasy and at unease
And that’s all I can say.
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
I burnt the bridge to you,
I threw all what you gave me.
I deleted your number,
I cleared the messages,
but that didn't stop me from swimming
back to you again
just to drown once again.
Sabila Siddiqui Sep 2019
I come from a place of empathy
where perceptions
is a mix of colors
of hers, his and their
perspective.

I come from a place of empathy
where ears are made of patience,
drums sensitive to the change in wavelength,
de-weaving complexity
into simplicity.

I come from a place of empathy
where the emotions lacerating
hearts – sliced,
run parallel through me.

You lock into my embrace,
finding the comfort of compassion
amongst the rusty and scraping conditions.
  
When you project anger, fear, and angst
I start dissecting your past,
your rearing,
justifying and understanding
the origins of the
hand and experiences
that shaped you.

You render your mind open,
as I step in
walk among the stars, darkness
and the turbulent waves crashing within.

Your emotions tingle my skin,
and linger within me
as I understand wor(l)d apart,
developing cross-cultural understanding
and objectifying subjectivity.

Though I begin to understand
the origins, stem of your being,
swaying with your words
and hazing in the paradox of other’s being.
I choose to succumb to gravity,
and remain sturdy on certain beliefs.
This poem is on the challenges of empathy along with the benefits/importance of it.
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
I don't understand how the victim is the one to be blamed, as the predator goes off easily. The sensitive ones blamed for how they feel as their reaction are blown out of proportion while the predator gaslights and walk off with no responsibility or consequence for their action. Why is that salt is added to wound, trigger pulled on a trigger while the perpetuators, manipulators walk off free. I don't understand why the victims suffer, while the predators are glorified. I don't understand, and maybe by breathing naivety never will.

- To the many things, I fail to understand about this world
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2018
These words written
are more understood and accepted
than the ones, I wear and speak.
My thoughts are tucked
safely in these words
than the ones I disclose to people.
My pen never
leaves
decieves
hurt
hide
and judge
like people do.
It just pours ink for me to craft
and offers paper for me to be listened.
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