I want to fall in love with his bad days
His insecurities
Become a best friend to his loneliness, his fears
A partner to his loathing

I want to love him for all he thinks he isn't
So I can prove him wrong and kiss away his hate

I want to fall in love with his tears
His messy hair in the mornings
His grogginess before his cup of coffee
His clumsy and nervous stutters

Everything about him, I want to find myself fawning over
I want to give him my all and love his everything
Because love doesn't pick and choose
It consumes all or it leaves with nothing

If I only choose to love his shimmer in the sunlight
Or his childish smiles and giggles
Then it would be as if I loved a portrait
Our love would only tarnish and fade with time

I will love everything or I will not love at all

As I drown beneath your smiles,
                you hold my head static.
Smiles gasp for breath, even though
             on the outside I'm holding it in.


And  as I sink to the bottom
          I  hold my last gasp,
Even though it hurts to hold this pose.

                    My life was suffocating smiles,

Chocking on every memory of what
             we once swam in I now know..



                   that I'm drowning.

And your
                           gently suffocating me beneath
        your words..

And I cant swim on the surface,
            I'm drowning
within you.

Love is varying but you were not what I expected when the word first tarnished my vocabulary. The word is sinful and leaves such a foul taste in my mouth; no one will ever get as sick of the word as I did.

No one's ever surpassed the absurd expectations of this vile word & I don't want to stick around to find out if I’ll fall into its clutches too.

I don't know what it is to
live a balanced life.
For I tear at the seams,
and live in extremes.

When happiness embraces me,
I do not smile
But become the sun;
that glows, shine and gleams.

When sadness enwraps me
I don't drizzle, I rain
I become the hurricane of blue,
the abyss of the starless sky;
I become the void.

When anger smolders me;
I don't yell, I burn out my sanity
I become the boiling blood
and the explosion of heat.

When loss deprives me
I do not grieve, I do not tarnish
I break, shatter and tear
I become the heart that does not beat but bleeds.
I become the wailing wind that breezes through the cypress trees.

I am either cold like Vinson Massif
or soft like a marshmallow
For I am the one who experiences no in between.

Ink never loses its
                     meaning

Time only fades it..

  Everything wrote will
           always have an
                            interpretation..

But to you it will never tarnish...

Moon behind clouds,
dreams tarnished
fire extinguished
with raining eyes...#10w

I have dreams that I once was
A free majestic albino peacock,
Jewellery trapped under a rock.
I have dreams that I never was.

I have dreams  that I once was
An old tree covered in snow,
Winds that took an eastern blow.
I have dreams that I never was.

I have dreams that I once was
A poor little drowning fish,
A silver ring left to tarnish.
I have dreams that I never was.

I have dreams that I once was
A lot of things and one thing,
But I never was anything.
I have dreams that I once was.


--Watercolour

In the same space where once laid rubies and pearls
now lies a tangled necklace of simple gold.
Knotted, tarnished and with one broken end,
it rests there for a long time, almost hidden,
amidst bracelets of diamonds
and waits to shine again.