i make these lists in my head of my ideal partner and i know that it's not fair or healthy but i do it anyway
they have to wear jewelry and have their ears pierced it would be good if they had a sense of anarchy love of reading is a must, and they'd better read my suggestions i want someone with a pretty voice to read me poetry and sing duets with me in the car speaking of, i'd like them to have a car because i believe in the inherent romance of the passenger seat i would steal the aux cord and blast the playlist that they made me
i want to love someone who loves things who loves to love things almost as much as i do
they have to love art, and it would be a plus if they made some because i can't draw for sh*t, but i can look at paintings until i die i want to go to art museums with them and symphonies and plays we can sit in the cheapest seats and throw pennies instead of roses
god, i want someone with strong hands that can hold me and i will just know that they want to i want to love someone with dyed hair so i can sit with them between my legs as i reapply the color and have stains on my fingers for weeks i want a poet, because i want to be immortalized in raw phrases in a moleskin journal
but i just haven't met this person yet i don't know if i ever will
I remember the day you left because you took a piece of me with you. I hope the new girl you have replaced me with takes care of you like I used to do. I gave you all my love, but you never know how to answer it. Tell me you’re just dealing with a lot of feelings and the lies you continue to spit. I'm fading, cracking and crumbling under all your huge expectations. I know there’s an easy way out but I don’t want to give in to the temptations. You used to be my hero and you would always come and save the day. Now, no matter what I do you cause me pain and turn all of my days gray.
Bullet holes, ****** clothes, quick hide the evidence or they'll know. Oh god what I have done!! I'll need cash, gas and a new identity Wonder if anyone will even know it's me? What am I gonna tell the kids? My job? The church? If they find out it was me it will leave a world of hurt.
No looking back now I've dug my grave. My question is can I still be saved?
Another world, where the stars fly by in scores of showers And the ocean is cursed with memory that the land cannot keep Our players enter the scene aboard the Lady Misfortune, Drowning their toils & allowing the world to drift past.
Until the day black and blue dressed hands drag their nails through the dawning sky & the Sun is sent spinning, Struggling to protect its precious pet world
I'm good most of the time I'm in control I'm satisfied, I can feel happines
But sometimes a feeling comes crashing over me out of nowhere triggerd like when you finish a good book the end credits roll of a movie all so beautiful emptiness sitting on your chest so heavily I can't cry no release granted "pain demands to be felt" my heart breaks, my mind trying to keep up my heart can't keep up, my mind breaks loose emptiness the despair of ficitional characters familiar but strangers all the same not real but reality to me I care for them, being dead inside "face death, deal with it or lose yourself" the last page is turned the story stopped all are dead and yet alive in me not enough room, make way
I try to numb it out to get back in control whisky burns my lips smoke scratches my throat whishing for release lose it, keep it tucked in forever though I feel, finally alive I want to punish myself I lose control for good emotions bundle up to the surface make up for time lost before drunk texting regret in the morning after I need to express myself to you, to anyone, get it out there is no one here
Weltschmerz pain of the world all in one tiny little heart so fragile I'm made up of stories
it had been only a nightmare, i told myself. but when i awoke he was still there. in the corner of my room. he was not staring at me but the window, everything was pitch black. i looked out the glass and saw more. “they will hurt you” he said. “i will protect you.” i looked away from the window to him. “but for how long will you last?” i asked, “and how long will they be there?” he looked at me. his ****** eyes into mine, “eternity.” i wept silently as the banging on my door started. “honey, it’s mom! im home.” my mom called, as i got up to open the door, a force stopped me. i looked at him. “it’s them. not her.” he said. “don’t come near me.” i replied to the banging. “let me in, he’s mind tricked you, we’re all trying to save you!” she yelled back. his eyes weren’t ****** anymore and suddenly he was starting to look less humanized. “mom come get me!” i cried. until i opened the door and everyone was gone. i woke up. on the floor of the bathroom. leaving there, i saw my families dead bodies. blood everywhere. i saw him. “their blood is on your hands.” i looked down holding an axe.