Starhands 21h

I can’t believe the pain I’m feeling in my abdomen
jarred and shook, a little boy on the edge of a bad omen

His head is spinning and its swirling down the drain
every synapse has been confiscated by the profane

A lost ice pick, astray, swam straight up his vein
hypochondria split and shoved it in two quarters of the brain

Kid Twist took residence in his neural neighborhood
set fire to the scaffolding cause he knew he could

The amygdala speaks only when its not wanted
and leaves the cortex grasping for things undaunted

Survival and adrenaline come joined in battle
trying to stop his being from collapsing to its death rattle

But eventually that second life force chokes up and runs out
the blood sea tide rolls in and carries him to his checkout

Equanimity comes face down in that ocean
and a sweet release calls him to one last motion

I’m going to take flight and leave this world like a blue jay
and right then and there, I farted, and all the pain went away

Evan 23h

I am serene
I tuck it away so not to be seen
The thoughts I hold so cold and mean
The feelings I've had since I was a teen

I cannot hide my internal screams
Heart poured out, infernal schemes
Nothing is what everything seems
When nothing can be expressed through dreams

Don't worry.
We all become famous when we die,
Because in death we find
We have something more to lose.
The humanity in which makes us gasp for air,
Suddenly is ripped from our lungs-
We realize.
We realize that one day we'll all be six feet down,
With nothing but thoughts on a page
That we were too scared to show.

do you know why there is this thing called pain?

because you keep on reaching out for something that you can’t reach

because you keep on thinking if maybe he did this because of that so you will always thing there still is probability

because you keep on letting the memory that you hold on to so tightly alone in your heart and mind playing all of those beautiful memories that ever happened

then, who creates pain?

you did.

Kaylee 6d

for my mind is like a shipwreck
after the tempest
when the shipwreck is shattered
timbers lie bare on the sand
and the survivor lifts his head
seeing the damage
but not comprehending it fully

Another ditty on depression.
morseismyjam Jan 6

The human condition
Is longing to take charge,
To make your own mark.
Make the world better,
Make the world brighter,
Shine in the dark.
But these days it's all I can do
To get out of my bed.
If I were the Chosen One
The good guys would be dead.

I'm mundane.
I'm ordinary,
There's no breaking out of this mold.
I could fight back;
Not take this lying down.
My life's spinning out of control.

The villans condemned
The heroes are sung
Their mem'ry goes on.
I fix up my coffee
I do what they tell me
I'm only a pawn.
I'm much too lazy and unkempt
To find where the action's at.
If I don't go out & find some friends,
I'm gonna die alone with my cats.

I'm mundane.
I'm ordinary.
There's no breaking out of this mold.
I could fight back;
Not take this lying down.
Put a stop to this rigmarole.

They make big discoveries
That become their legacies
Their sign on humanity.
I can't even function
Just living my own life
but I still have vanity.
All I want is to change the world,
to have my name be heard.
There are just so many dreams
But all my plans are blurred...

Because I'm mundane.
I'm ordinary.
There's no breaking out of this mold.
I could fight back;
Not take this lying down.
But I won't escape entropy's pull.

My life's spinning out of control.

Lyrics for a song I'm writing. very punk with lots of guitar.  Instrumental before verse 3. SO MUCH ANGST. Maybe I'll eventually have chords...
clem turner Jan 6

He slept on the couch
in the living room of
the One's house.

The pillows smelled like
tangible comfort and the
blanket that he was given
in the middle of the night
was soft and woven,
and everything felt like home.

And every single thought
and feeling of doubt was wiped away.
Each mental picture was snipped
and folded
and altered,
and the new face was pasted in.

i am frozen inside an ice box filled with dagger shaped icicles of what i’ve been trained to do right
yet i am hopelessly drowning in melted water with my unforgiving wrongs
my lungs are searching for the air in this rainy city

my actions have me disconnected

i am the chord wrapped around your thumb as you pace aimlessly on the phone
i am the six blankets and four pillows falling on my bed to hide my eyes that don’t remember
i am the scared child hiding in the bathroom when everything turns black from the storm

i am the one who turned off the light

now i can’t see where i’m pacing, my heart is blinded and it’s racing
the six blankets and four pillows on my bed are dark and suffocating
i need to see but i’m terrified to turn the light back on

how can one person possess so many feelings?

he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not
it only took a moment of magical laughter to know how full you make me
but still, the carousel won’t stop turning and neither will my stomach

vulnerability is a part of change

i am ashamed and afraid of how i want to be the best version of me for myself
confined by swollen eyes and wrinkle lines, i need to break out of this ice box
my emotion tattooed eyes are a filter only i can read. i’m disconnected

i refuse to be defined by others

clem turner Jan 3

you are a tumor
with hair
and teeth
and skin
and limbs.
you sit in my brain,
and wait for a time
where you are not
my priority
and then you strike me down
easily and swiftly.

clem turner Jan 1

It was difficult,
trying to find a way to describe his dilemma
for outside ears.

Because it was juvenile, sure,
too juvenile to comfortably say the words
that were rattling around in his mouth,
scraping against his teeth and taste buds.

But it was also complex.
They were adults, they weren't little anymore.
They weren't trying out dynamics of relationships
to see how they felt, to test the waters,
to ruin just because they could.

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