Today was the day.
Thinking how mad could I actually be.
Even thought of the ways I'd do the deed.
I knew exactly how to succeed.
All of this need to be taken from this world.
From the beginning,
I felt abandoned.
My 17-year-old birthmother gave me up.
& my birthfather didn't even show up.
12 years later,
God took the only mother I'd ever known.
I'm writing to the ones who drown in these turbulent waves.
Sympathizing with how suicide seems like the only outlet.
Especially when you sense is the walls closing further in.
Perhaps this is where we must begin.
We're all in pain.
Few of us choose to admit.
There must be people who ask "what's wrong?" & truly listen.
Don't assume you know what we're going through.
Chances are you have NO CLUE.
I told God this was truly my lowest point.
Even asked Him if He could sit by me & eat chips with me.
I believe He did.
The Holy Spirit began to say,
look at Matthew 4:1-11 the devil tempted me too.
I've been there & I didn't eat food for 40 days.
Which is why my Father sent me to save you,
& to show you how much I love you.
This was when all my worries passed away.
My hope is our stories will get better from here.
Then was Jesus led up of the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil. And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was afterward hungry.