there were others as well
who were standing beside me till now,
who loved me, at least liked me.
Surely I am mistaken
that I am abandoned.
There were several houses that fell silent
as my legs lingered on their doorsteps.
There was a sigh of relief as I left.
muffled by my own will to ‘not hear’.
As I went far from them,
their memories and promises
became louder in my head.
Surely I was mistaken.
loneliness is just nostalgia
with a certain melancHoly
singular in form and yet
ubiquitous in mankind's folly
lonelinEss is frank aliveness
knowledge pure and terrifying
often coming, rarely going
feeling self and ego dying
Loneliness is distilled dreaming
bottled by the ancient sorrows
sculPted to an angry brew and
full of ifs and lost tomorrows
loneliness is midnight meals
Microwaved on plastic trays
and eaten with a bitter sigh
to pass away the empty days
and loneliness is self-deception
Ev'ry time we draw our breaths
for we forget we call the shot
yet still crash blindly t'ward our deaths
My filthy eyes, they're getting kind of dry
Your mouth is filled with lies... but I don't really know
Reason, it's fled, in wake of the pounding in my head
I need you but you're gone instead and I'm feeling quite hollow
You're the one that I never see
but I'm the one who's a ghost
It feels like you're not here for me
when I need you most
I love you, and I love you, but regardless I feel dismayed
I love you, and I can't blame you, yet I feel I've been betrayed
The lady of the water,
Sits highly fair and mighty.
Through her locks of hair, you may totter.
Now don't be fooled, she is quite slyly.
For she is only lonely
And wishes for a companion.
Please do watch her closely,
For she has once been abandoned.
She will cover you in her embrace till you lose breath.
You have tried to abandon her, is the case.
The lady of the water,
Sits highly fair and mighty,
For you no longer totter,
But you sit with her,
No longer a plea, Scream, Sigh, A breath.
You look very sightly with The lady of the water.
Watch your step on the way in, there are needles and knives
they'll pierce through your skin.
It may be dark, so hold my hand
and if you can, understand.
Step over my sorrows,
don't mind the shards,
while you're in here please,
Your eyes will adjust,
you can see me now,
all the pieces of my heart, I just left around.
Drugs and liquor beside my bed,
but by the end of most nights,
only the thoughts are dead.
I become hesitant as I notice you judge,
"please don't begin to send your pity,
these feelings don't budge."
I suddenly remember why I've never had someone in this room,
for the longest time, it has only been my tomb.
They all asked of the spark that had gone,
From my heart that was once lit with vigorous flame,
Eyes that used to glimmer starlight has now turned to stone,
As though I'm a soul Medusa has tamed,
The fire put out by the dripping of blood from my bleeding heart,
The tears of my weep had made the firewood too damped for a fire to start,
It takes two rocks to start a fire,
You are who I need to make my days brighter,
But you left,
I can't help but to cry,
You said it yourself,
That it's okay to lie,
So I said "I'm fine",
I lied,but I'll just stay under these dark skies in clandestine.