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clawing
at my own skin

tigers in the nighttime
attacking all that lies in their sight

the barrier
finally breaking
allowing me to fall
hopelessly vulnerable
to the spinning
cycling through my mind
rig f laurel Mar 26
clawing at my chest
my fingers, through ribs and flesh
to feel if it’s there.
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
It’s hurting
I can’t make it stop
You can’t take away the pain
I want it to stop
But it keeps clawing at my heart
It keeps raging in my mind
It keeps rotting in my veins
So,
I let the drugs take away the pain
Nicotine flows through my veins
And I escape.
Danielle Oct 2018
This Rush,
Heady, intoxicating
Pounding against my white interior
Clawing through my skin.
Begging, fighting, screaming,
For a way out.
Dripping, oozing
Through every word
And every well timed ******.
Its fire and warmth gives me
A new sort of fragile
Strength.
sweet ridicule Dec 2017
you don’t realize how much it hurts you when he
touches you for a moment and then begs for more
you say “no I don’t want to” and he pushes
(more) (more)
---says you are annoying and dramatic--
but you love him (so)
you grasp for straws you
gasp when he smiles and yet
your love is rotting and it is
filling your bones. All of the no no
I don’t want to” turns into
come back why are you leaving and then
you are clawing for air on the ground
calling your mom trying to tell her
how much you hurt without telling her why
because it might split her open
And that is the last thing you want to do.
Randall Walker Sep 2017
The year's '95,
And in my mom is me,
But not for long,
Cause I need some air to breathe.
Clawing forth, I burst forth,
And **** in my first sweet breath,
Biggest baby in the place,
****, my head has heft.
"It's no matter," they said,
On my first day out the gate,
"See, there's this thing called fate.
It takes freedom from will,
And Choice is determined.
As for you—baby boy,
Fate says you are destined to burn
To Curse
To Shake,
Hate icing your veins,"
"—And hate has iced my veins,"
I cut in abrupt, granite-cool.
"These pinprick cuts I feel—
Open pain lacing my face—
Have marked me as martyr,
And so my life shall be pain.
I’ve been clawing, am clawing, will keep clawing,
Never calling out for help,
Alone, untold gall, I came out
Of that dirt-riddled world,
That ****-padded hollow,
21-and under gallows.
I paid off the gatekeeper,
So no,
This body won’t follow.

See,
I first went to school,
I first went to read,
Sorting info in body,
I knew the life I would lead.
AD Snail Jun 2017
I feel the claws digging,
I know that its trying to claw away at the skin;
That locks it all away,
What is it trying to get at, I will never know.

I feel the inside of my chest wanting to ripped apart,
I can feel the aching numbness in the pit of my heart swell.

Something wants to be set free from within my fragile frame.

I wish for this feeling to be no more,
I do not want to cave into the craving,
I cannot destroy my appearance of "Normal, or "Just fine,"
I cannot be "Strange," my mother said.

So smile and laugh even if it hurts to move,
The stitching will soon heal all wounds.
It was your fault anyways, for giving in.

I cannot try to claw away at the feelings deep within me,
It is unnatural to react upon these things,
"You must not be so strange,"
Mama will say.

The unknown feelings will soon turn into aching feeling,
Its likes a scratch that you must never scratch at,
Because people have told you that it will just make it worse.

So these feelings deep within in my chest,
I must ignore, I must be actually how society wishes me to be,
"Perfectly fine."
Tony Luxton May 2017
We may soon forget about them,
Perform our daily tasks.
Seek what pleasure may be found.
Regain contentment in whatever measure.

They will still claw at the razor wire,
discomforted by rain, wind and snow,
determined to resist their pains,
seeking to share our inherited treasure.
Emily Dawn Aug 2015
I am not now an emotional being.

But if ever in my dreams,  I was to stumble upon
That girl who wore my face when she was
Ten, twelve, fourteen,
I weep.
Taking her in my arms I try to hush her,
as she claws at her belly and screams at the mirror.
Hating herself, as only an innocent can,
wholly and completely
I wrote this a few months ago and thought I might as well put it up
Q Oct 2014
How do I erase this Janwar
that's clawing, gnawing, destroying my insides
try to cease this current
this ebbing self-control
black-holed sanity of clear thought

Everywhere I go
every sight I see
incomplete without my completeness
you

Stupidity overwhelming judgement
blinding direction of constant withdrawal
an itch

How I wish things didn't happen for a reason
for now, I'd be whole
without a counterpart
missing

A puzzle piece
misleading me to believe
that he
and me
as a we
are meant to be

**** that idiocracy
for whole
I am,
complete,
and you are obsolete

*s.q.
Janwar (jaan-ver): Animal
Jungali (jang-lee): Wild human




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