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Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2021
You can say whatever you want
But that doesn't mean it's true
I suppose if the roles were reversed
I would have trouble admitting it too

Of course your memory differs
No two perspectives are the same
It was many years ago
So you are not to blame

But what you said weighed much more
On my ears than your own
I am not trying to make mountains out of molehills
My recollection is not overblown

It feels like it was yesterday
That those careless words left your lips
Even speaking them aloud now
Still stabs my self-esteem and rips

"With the way you are you deserve to die"
I am not making it up like you think
I did not misunderstand you
You didn't even stutter or blink

You did not say "You are gonna die"
Although I am sure that's what you meant
To summarize
I had it coming
That was pretty much the extent

You apologized right after
Realizing you were wrong
But the damage was already inflicted
Statement a little too strong

What hurts the most is you are honest
And only say things you truly believe
But when I analyze it you are correct
I beckon death with a push of my sleeve

So denial may have you fooled
But I can't forget what you said
And no matter how much I wish it wasn't so
Your comment will always remain in my head
To my dad
So much on my mind
Tryna bind them together
Weather the storm I continuously have in my head
Thoughts all over the place
Mind racing
I'm stressed out I'm stressed out
Cant handle the thoughts in my head
All I think about before I go to bed
Recurring pain from these thoughts That they have brought
It's ok, everything is going to be ok
That's all I keep hearing but it's never ok
It's a battle up there
Dont nobody know that
Fake a smile once in a while just to seem ok
Hide my true feelings cause dont nobody care
Just a fear of some things
A bunch of overthinking, mixed feelings
Tryna find my path in life
A path that's right for me
Focusing on what I'm thinking
Rather than what's in front of me
Try to let things be
But if something's bothering me of course its gonna effect me
Jumbled up brain
Hidden deep pain
That I cant seem to control
Unless something controls it for me...
In the cold Winter
I wanna make snow angels
Drink delicious hot chocolate
Have a snowball fight
Skate on beautiful
In the wet Spring
I wanna dance in the rain
Smell the millions of flowers
Have a picnic
Take a walk through a
In the hot Summer
I wanna dive into a pool
Eat lots a icecream
Take trips
Feel the warm
Sun on my face
In the windy Fall
I wanna see the color of the leaves change
Smell the spice of Pumpkins
Sit in front of a warm
Blazing fire
In The 4 Seasons
Wanna be free
Do my own thing
On my own time
No worries
No stress
Things running smoothly as they should be
Dont need the unnecessary anything
Do one thing at a time
Still doesnt work out
I'm trying to do something for myself
Have something going for myself
Instead I get pushed back..
Step 1
How is a person supposed to keep fighting like this?
Yea the same old saying..
But what else is new though?
What else you got for me?
Positivity can only bring but so much joy
Just wanna strive and achieve
Only works but so much
Block out any and every feeling that's there
Doing any and everything to make it seem like I'm ok
To put my mind somewhere else
Then it hits you
Now you dont wanna do anything
But sleep
Cry away the pain
Pain clouding
Just a simple
Easy way to think you're out
Delyla Nunez Feb 2021
You know what’s worse than someone walking away leaving?
Staring right at them and watching them leave emotionally and mentally.
Comment below I want to hear your thoughts on what’s worse to you. 😊
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