You can never contradict the truth with a lie
even though there are some people who try. _ _ _ _ ___
From 'Simple Observations' ongoing writings since the early '90's.
Today I was accused to being a bad influence yet again,
Simply because I facilitate the forbidden wants/needs of the people I love, Simply because I give them a place to get high and vent without being judged, Simply because I create an aura where they feel free to express themselves in whatever ways they like- modest, humble even ******, And simply because the ones they love refuse to facilitate their haram (forbidden). Haram is bad – we all know this But being human is about passing through all things good and all things bad. Being a Muslim, most of my choices are haram; Not properly attired to the laws of my religion, My speech is not of a young lady with modesty- rather it is defined with sheer profanity, I rather laugh from my heart even though it’s supposedly a *****’s act, I refuse to lower my gaze around men; the same men that stole from me The same men that refused to lower their gaze from me. I deny myself the potential for love because of the expectation of great dismay And I drown myself with the 34000 thoughts of what if??! This poem is becoming a disaster; my thoughts aren’t flowing straight, I went from bad influence to haram to rebellious to depressing; What the **** is this **** going on inside my head- it aches with great displeasure. How do I contain my contradicting self? Someone help me please, my soul is crying and sobbing for something to fill this void- The void that is desperately trying to full itself with the acceptance of the people who are hell bent on not accepting me. Why am I like this? A contradicting ******* disaster -fir.m
They keep warning:
Love is CYANIDE. It is lethal. I keep cajoling: It is OXYGEN. The lack of it is.
I’m a paradox.
I say I don’t care, when I really do. I say I don’t need someone to ask me how I am, while I am longing them to. I say my voice matters and act as though it doesn’t. I want someone to know my emotions when I haven’t told them and never want to tell them either. I want to be happy but I think of sad thoughts. I am lazy, yet I am ambitious. I crave attention, love and support but reject when it comes in my way. I am strong, yet run back to the ones who hurt me. I am a conflicted contradiction.
Spill your sickening contradictions.
Try to snow those you perceive as weak. Distract us with your predictions. Hide crucial evidence for “sterilization”. To numb the populous and make them weep. Spill your sickening contradictions. Preach what you don’t practice, it’s just operations. Invoke decree, and let it steep. Distract us with your predictions. The poor are there for your oppression. Smile and wave, lock evil in your keep. Spill your sickening contradictions. You “speak for the weak”. What fiction! We’ve been snowed by those who steep. Distract us with your predictions. You repugnant charlatans. Snow is with your projections. Spill your sickening contradictions. Distract is with your predictions.
everything i feel for you,
is a contradiction. i hate that i love you, my sweet addiction.
Your action shows
that you still care about me but your eyes says that you don't. Your mouth says that you still love me but your action shows you don't.
How ridiculous it can be:
apparently knows how to let out somebody the mind's crazy for. It's itself willing to insist and against the remedy that heals insane thought. Rather keeps inside prefers being in pain. Not long, it searches again For how to take someone away.
Web of thoughts in my mind
Flow of emotions in my veins Leaving me indecisive about the action to take. I try to find a balance, only to find myself in a tug of war between my impulsive-fragile heart and wise brain. Incertitudes, chaos, doubt, and fear overpower certitude, tranquility, trust, and confidence. leaving me ambivalent about my thoughts and emotions overthinking and overanalyzing. Because if I don't act accordance to my mind, I face consequences. If I don't abide by my heart, I regret.
Its an upside-down world
Where good is bad and right is wrong. Where love is hate and kindness is an awful crime... We live here thinking that we are the great But we are all just waiting to see our fate. We wait for the unreturned love, That is hidden by those above. We want those that don't want us, But isn't it all just an awful fuss? -FreeMind