Walking into the house of someone we don’t know you can definitely tell right away this is not my type of crowd. Following your friend around we made it to the backyard sitting on a couch outside on that cold August night. Your other friend couldn’t stop messing around, he was really getting on my last nerve now. You’re watching us from across the table beer in your hand and daggers shooting from your face but you didn’t even try to put me aside to dance. Face to the side and you start a conversation with someone else while one of my friends drags me to the side of the house and asks “Which one is it? Which one do you want?”. How I couldn’t tell right then and there that I was putty in your hands is beyond me since I just wanted you to take me where the music wasn’t too loud even if it was just to talk or stare at the sky. But I barley saw you at all, looking grumpy all alone while I was a rushed inside the house just a few rooms down the hall holding my friend’s hair as she threw up from mixing too much. Came across you again when it was time to leave, forced to sit at the front since I was the only one on her right mind and your friend didn’t want to be bothered after finding out that you and his girlfriend had stolen a bowl out of the house. It was just us four in the car. How I wish you had been sober that night, talked to me even just for a little while. Maybe I would of had the guts to kiss you in the corner of the living room or held your hand later that night when we walked side to side down the road whilst our friends chased each other around.
- why did it take me this long to figure it out?
This person has been on my mind lately, mostly 'cause I've done some realizing during quarantine brought by my subconscious, things that helped see this (and many other nights) clearer but I also been listening a lot to "Wish You Were Sober" by Conan Gray which happens to bring back the memory of this particular night every-time I listen to it.
Just like rain drops my tears fall watering seeds sown from my past. Before too long they will flower into wonderful opportunities, stunning all those who see, never knowing the damaged roots that lay underneath. For you see the colourful bloom reached for the sun, Illuminating the world in a sea of colour, ready to take on life's next adventure. Just like rain drops my tears fell watering seeds sown ready to bloom into wonderment.