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Hoshiko Jun 17
Disappear to sad
when checked my outbox on mail
Rushing around mind

Felt disappointed
Get away from my sorry
To clean what I said

Where are you, myself?
The clarify for movement
Texting messages

Wherever I did
Take chance in my reflecting
Whatever I'll be

Go to forgive them
Relieve heart to open key
Goodness for happy

Fragile to shyful
How unimportant story
Opinions don't great

Tomorrow is fine
Just comparing past to present
Trouble was finished

Ocean has occured
Like stairs up and down, I walked
Journey life from God

Flying birds chirping
meanwhile, freedom beside it
Focus or keeping

Red ribbon cutting
Have strong faith behind problem
Pinned by sincerity

Flashback, remembered
in the short term, act quickly
Read bad emotion

Removed frozen blood
perhaps, swarming whispers
Swirling underground

Brought my last letter
Elimination resigned
Be adventurer

Fighting your spirit
Bottom of mentality
Move forward to hills

Hidden at jungle
Playing random strategy
Introspect white nest

Thoughts, 16-17 June 2021☆
In haiku's journey
It was nine
The weather was cold
I went to the classic café
And ordered my favorite coffee

Afterwards, I saw you in the corner
Who would have thought
We will meet again
After years

In same place
Where we met once
And decided to part ways
Mimmi Jan 12
No one saw my pain
Even when I had no idea how to smile
I was literally dying inside
And at the closest call of ending it

No one saw my pain
I was sort of always in the backround
It sounds like a clyche but it was my reality

Everybody saw a door as a door
I saw a gate with steel bars and no password to get inside
They saw new people as an opportunite
I saw them as kings and queens, as higher royalty than me
I could never reach their level of "hey be my friend"
Why were they so scary
Why was I so afraid
I have no answer
It was just constant hell and me seeking for help without asking

I am not a happy pearl
I am not a bursting sea
I don't know when to turn back and wave for help
I always felt so trapped, there was just no place for me
Of all the steps I took, there was no shoes to be filling the path I made in the snow
Not a single one followed me, for my secrets are meant to be kept?

If they had just looked a little closer, way past the camera lense
They would have seen my scar, and my bleeding hand
They were always so happy and cheerful as they could be,
As I was laying on the ground thinking about what could be

How are they so carefree, when I plan every step and move I make
To not be in the way, but also be seen
I tried so hard playing that part, but with no confidence

They were all so cheerful
I just didn't understand
How can I be in the same room
But not understanding what is there

I just kept hiding those flaws they never saw
I didn't dare to eat the dinner that we cooked
I stayed far away and went around as a busboy the whole day

I think I could have been more
Maybe just a little more off the side
Not right in the middle but like a quarter of enough

I kept it a secret as long as I could
But I had to give an answer and to the emergency we went
I was hiding
I was venting
I was in pain
I am in pain
Will I always feel this pain inside
This was years ago,  you would think memories would go
But not mine no, they stay hidden until they pop up and i'm right back there again.
This is a poem like story telling of a trip I did with my choir some years ago. My mental state was B A D but what was more frustrating was the people who was there, who were supposed to be my friends knew nothing, they saw nothing and so alone I was and felt.
just a bit like waves,
it comes and goes and never stay;
over the raging sea,
submerged betwixt the depths of me.

a flashback hits abruptly,
a deserted memory,
caresses like a touch, weakly,
can be delineated only just by me.

either conveniently registered,
or an untimely occurrence;
bears an optimistic euphoria,
or a somber ache.

like an old pal,
that was left astray;
a memory is only lived once,
but never forgotten.

like a ghost, in a glimpse,
it vanishes away;
a devoid mind is a devil's play,
a new seed outgrows and takes its place.
define memories? can you?
Flashes of memories

Blood Red, Death Grey, and Fear Yellow

Waking hours turn to Replays

An unwanted Movie Show

On the screen of my life

Destruction, Assault, and Reckless Harm

A house of cards that fell apart

As I stumbled to fight back the Replays

This process has to end

One day I shall become stronger

I shall whipe these reels clean

They will cease to play.
Mariah Button Jul 2020
When I look at him,
I remember that grin.
The one from all my nightmares.
Some days,
When I feel any touch,
I remember your entitled hands,
Reaching for what isn't yours.
Some nights,
My breath gets quiet,
It reminds me of you,
Too close I could hear your breathing,
Too calm to care if I struggled.
Some days,
The birds are chirping loud,
I remember the woods behind your house
I remember the walks,
I remember the hands on my tiny waist
The whistling of the wind as I pulled away,
And your insistent tongue telling me I had no choice.
Wither Bloodfall May 2020
Quaking nightmares
the moment I blink
unable to talk
unable to think
don't believe it
it's what you said
it's all over
it's just in your head.
When people have flashbacks, they feel like waking nightmares, it's as if you're reliving a traumatic event. If you know anyone with Flashbacks, please be kind towards them, at any given moment they can have one.
Salvador Kent May 2020
The riverbank in July
Is always a pretty sight.
There's something about
The way the light
Dances with the water.

And there was an electricity
In the air. You could smell
It from two metres away.
Like a virus. I felt a tension
When you smiled.

And then you took your shirt off.
Still don't know why,
Maybe you just wanted
Your skin to feel the symphony
Of the electric sunlight.

That added more complexity
To the smile that crossed your lips.
Fine wine. Onions. Layers.
I had only known you for a week,
Maybe that added to it

When I saw your stomach,
My face dropped, the old
Electric stars in my eyes
Died. Replaced with
Unmissiable scars.

I wanted to say something.
Anything. Even if it was
An "always here"
Borderline cliche,
But at least you would know I cared.

I wanted to scream "**** IT!"
Why are we this way?
How can we allow souls
Like yours to go to that
Place? I felt an ache.

And there is an old
Cliche. That scratching
Scars onto a page
Makes the feeling of
Failure go away.

I finished and said **** it again.
I started at it for a while.
Your stomach filled with scars,
And I almost forgot
That electric smile.
Part of a collection I'm working on with a friend, I think it's going to work alright.
Empire May 2020
I remember this
I remember the pain of sleeping on an empty stomach
The constant fear I was about to die
Eating only what I absolutely had to
And even then, I was so weak...
I remember weakness...
Missing a step and falling
Dizziness... all the time
I was really sick...

But I’m not there now.
This is different.
I’m hungry because I simply forgot to eat
The weakness will pass
It’s not happening again
I’m okay. I’m okay.
moria May 2020
Your voice is like sweet music to my ears,
But I haven't heard sweet music in a long time.
The way your mouth forms that ‘O’ shape,
Or the way our fingers intertwined.

You’re like a song from my childhood.
You brought me and still bring me joy,
Yet you also come with pain, guilt, and my wicked childhood.
But I still love your sound.

You’re the same as a tune that couldn’t be forgotten.
I still think about you every night,
The way you bring me pain yet oh, so much delight.
And the way I play you on the piano and belt out the lyrics that I had stored inside.

But am I the sweet music to your ears?
Do you think about me as much as the reoccurring thought of your face bursts into my ever so ****** up head?
Am I the childhood song that you cry yourself to sleep to,
Or was I the childhood song you forgot you even had?
-This is an actual ****-show *****
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