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M C Sep 4
Once more round the sun
and passed reality is become undone.
Reaching through an aura of melancholic euphoria,
a resolution: feelings no longer will I run from.
Carl D'Souza Jul 30
When I seek to be normal
I feel ashamed
of what I am actually being;
But when I seek my joy and happiness
and allow myself to be my unique authentic self
I feel joyful and happy
just being me
even if I am different than the norm.
Carl D'Souza Jul 26
In my youth
I pretended to be
what I thought others’ thought
was prideworthy and praiseworthy,
and I was unjoyful and unhappy
self-annihilating my authentic self.

Now I am older
and I realise
only by being my authentic self
and striving for joy and happiness
using my authentic self
can I be joyful and happy.
I have a voice
behind this tongue
that is quiet and sky
and knotted in my throat.

I have a voice
that whispers to me
but i fear to amplify,
for you see it reflects on who am I.

I fear of what they might think,
as it is not an attempt at speaking
but an insight to my perspective,
and thoughts
allowing them to know and judge.
It's a fear I dread to face,
that consumes me everyday,
I don't face.

I have a voice,
its mine
and I don't want it to be
muted by people
and neither fear.

I have voice,
that it is all mine,
that I will amplify.

For it is a part of
who I am, my opinions
my thoughts,
I choose for it not to be taken away,
neither suppressed.

I give it a platform,
a channel,
and courage
to let it speak
its very own language.

Liberating me
with every syllable it lets slip.
There is a whisper,
a voice so soft
that it goes unheard
amongst the bustling people.

There is a voice,
if you focus you will hear.
For it dances to different rhythm
and moves differently than other tongues.

It is a voice,
that speaks to you.
Whispers to you all day long
indicating what's good
and what's not.
It knows,
when no one else knows
what's right for you.

So learn its height,
learn its breadth,
learn its origin
learn its trail
and its ends
because it's all for you
to test.
You have a voice,
that is powerful.
for it can spew hate
or spread love.
It can tell the truth to save
or lie to manipulate.
It can heal,
It can ****.
It can bring comfort,
and it can bring pain.

Your voice has potential
that can strive for something greater.
It can suppress segregation,
arise integration.

So choose wisely,
with how you tone it.
Amplify it,
express it,
for you can make a difference,
a better difference.
Sometimes I feel
I am no longer writing for myself,
but rather becoming more like an elf.
Working and writing for everyone,
but myself.

I feel the need to keep my followers
entertained consistently and constantly
out of the fear I may lose my audience.

I feel I lost the purpose of my writing,
finding myself writing to the others liking
rather than expressing the voice within me.

For, once writing felt like a destress
but now it seems more of a stress.

I find myself beating my mind,
scraping for ideas,
juicing what's left within me,
to be drained
just to post consistently.

It's important to remember
to put yourself first above others.
To express to your likings and authenticity.
To not lose one self in the muddle of others
demands, voices and likings.
To remember the reason,
why you initially started.
They aren't just poems,
but my vulnerabilities stripped
onto a page.
These words are the rhythmic song
of my heart,
the lyrics of my mind
These bare words
having an insight
beyond the skin.
To something more vulnerable and deep;
An entry to my mind
Why do we keep holding on when all we do is magnify one other flaws; have our words act taws and have our unsupportive attitude act like claws dragging one another down? Why do keep holding on when it is no longer authentic? Are we really that scared of letting go of familiarity and embracing the unknown? Because we both know it feels wrong and that there is someone better for us. Do we just have to be strong? Because It hurts to admit there is someone better out there for us, all along.
There is someone with whom we’ll click, mind and heart; just connect with and accept. A connection that is greater than the constellation drawn and electricity itself. Compassion that is greater than the depth of ocean itself. Did we mistake falling for one another because we fell in love moment, and kept holding on just to feel alright? Is that why we are afraid to leave, because we are scared to be lonely and not alright?
Inspired by: Scared to be lonely - Martin Garrix & Dua Lipa
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