Through and through my mother is anorexic You would be too if your environment was toxic I can’t help but be sad when I come home late at night And she’s asleep on the couch with tear stains from a fight I bring back food from the restaurant I work at She says she can’t have it because she’s too fat Eventually she caves and I get her to eat Fish, broccoli, fries, and red meat She tells me it’s too late at night to eat snacks Although she’s a normal weight her bones still sound like they ***** It’s now 1 am and I go to turn off the tv She quickly wakes up and stairs blankly right at me “Leave it. And turn the heat on” She says to me, fighting a yawn Before I leave I notice the wrappers A caloric binge had clearly trapped her And tomorrow I’m sure the cycle will repeat As the image of my mother withers and retreats
A veces me mareo de tanto blanco, No se malentienda, gran color ese blanco Sólo me marea verlo y verlo en todos los edificios, Las paredes Y no me marea el color en sí, Me marea la intención Me marea usar el blanco para adormecer La sensación de acorralamiento en jaulas Que doblegan voluntades A través de necesidades
El ser estático en su jaula porque no hay más a donde ir Y las jaulas blancas Para que sienta paz Y las paredes blancas Para que esté tranquilo
Me marea el blanco Me marean las intenciones Las intenciones “blancas”
Me marea recurrir a colores Para disfrazar crueles realidades Nadie quiere estar sentado todo el día
Quizá me marea el truco Me marea Me marea el blanco y lo que implica Me marea el uso
Y la pregunta, pero sí no el blanco entonces ¿quién? Entonces ¿cuál? No abundan opciones De jaulas negras, de jaulas rojas, no vendría nada mejor Tiene que ser el blanco Y eso me marea
Probablemente me marea la realidad y yo Yo lo refiero todo al blanco Me marea tanto blanco
Here it comes again --the acid creeping up my throat Reminding me that the motion I perceive with my eyes Does not coincide With the motion of my mind. The fluid in my ears, I find Being steered by forces hidden behind A curtain blinding my sight.
When I was six, the sickness would hit When I was in the backseat going down winding streets. The pain, I claimed, came from my jaw But it wasn’t long until they saw Splattered across the back bench of the car --I was motion sick.
As a teen, cleaned from this curse, Steering the machines that once made me squeam, I thought I was free. Until vertigo creeped into my seams. Clear sight, but a spinning mind! A crystal displaced in the skull behind my face Would trace every turn through, as if it was reality who had forgotten to move.
Now nausea creeps in again as my mind perceives a reality that once again, my eyes can’t see.
All of my hopes and dreams
so real to me…
But when my eyes look out to reality, they are nowhere to be seen And it makes me feel So Nauseous
Sometimes I feel sick and tired. It usually goes away after a day. But lately I've felt worse. I've felt nauseated. I've felt like crying. And all for what?
I thought it was just a depressive episode. I thought I would feel better after a few hours of crying. But I just feel worse. I feel more sick and tired. The feeling that I will throw up anytime won't go away. Why do I feel this way?
I think it's because I feel so lonely. I feel isolated from the world around me. Yeah, I hang out with friends a lot. But I never really feel there. It's just so exhausting. Why is this happening?
I've always wanted a pet. To help me feel comforted. And make me stop feeling lonely. But sadly I can't have one. And I will be alone for what feels like forever. Why is the world so cruel?
My isolation follows me. It's there when I wake up. It's there when I'm with other people. It's even there to tuck me in at night. I still feel queasy. Why is it so involved in my life?
Why am I asking so many questions? Why is the light of the screen making my nausea worse? Why can't I stop crying? Why can't I think clearly? Why do I feel so lonely? Why?
I have felt really lonely for a long time now. I recently reunited with a cousin that I haven't seen in a while. She is probably one of the best and worst people I have ever conversated with. While she understands me in a way that no one else can, she also made me realize that I feel really lonely and sad all the time. I've been feeling nausea a lot lately as well. It *****.