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629 · Apr 2020
No Running Away
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2020
Shadow coveted by dancing demons dark
Yearning to reunite with hell
As quietness leaves its damning mark
Satan calls
He knows me well

Under the smooth canopy of night
While black air shelters evil
Red blinking eyes the solitary light
At depth of awakened upheaval

Do not fear the monsters plaguing sleep
Alive as you walk through the day
So you can ignore the wickedness deep
But there's no running away
This is open to interpretation. I would love to hear what it brings to your mind.  Personally I wrote it about addiction.
628 · Nov 2018
Hurt-Filled Eyes
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
Gaze full of hurt
Prophecy now unclear
Terrified of breaking you
More than I appear

I may seem composed
Unbothered to the untrained eye
It's destroying me within, believe
To be the one saying goodbye

I never played the field
Not used to being the one
Who steals hearts, smashes them
As soon as they stop having fun

I see shapes through loves blindfold
The sharpness of your rotten core
I am deciding loneliness
Is better than our hearts raw and sore

I know demeanor is cold
On a leash keep emotions felt
Shallow breath gives away
That my adoration is starting to melt

When calamity ultimately manifests
Into a mess you'd rather hide
Disruptive indiscretions occur
Bruises are born inside

A different suffering spreads
Polluting narrow veins
Morphing my blood dark and slow-moving
Spiraling down my arm red drains

I wish I could resuscitate the spark
Then I wouldn't feel so guilty and bad
It doesn't matter how we got here
What matters is that we can't go back
When the past knocks, don't answer. It has nothing new to say.
627 · Sep 2018
The Worst
Amanda Kay Burke Sep 2018
Hurt and doubt revealed on my face
I recall bad memories in distaste
I remember hate in your expression
Your rage fueled my own aggression

This place coated with memories
Clocks are stopped and won't unfreeze
Hands endlessly stuck, seconds stand still
Beg them to move but do not think they will

Tell me how to bridge the gap
Separating you and I before we snap
Give everything I have to you
It is nothing compared to what you do

Problem is you still expect more
Feelings are different in my core
Trying to restore the glow obviously lost
How we once melted eachothers frost

I want more time to throw away
Do you still long for my presence each day?
As much as I would love to stay, I'm unsure
I selfishly want to but I'm frightened you'll get burned

Forceful ocean storm rages out of control
Behind eyes a tortured soul
It's sad to sit down and do the math
Discover we are fractions, less than 1/2s

Familiar smile I yearn to see
Share with someone better than me
Strange to think back when we met
Had no idea how close you'd get

Although we have encountered distress
The hard days were leading up to the best
Lately best is fading to bad
Scared bad will become the worst we've ever had
Not sure what to say about this one so... thoughts anyone?
625 · Oct 2018
Sermon Written In The Sound
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
When gone what will my days amount to?
I can be caring yet conceited
But always remained loyal and true,
I somehow ended up lonely and defeated.

I do not pray to a whimsical God,
When I sing I bow my head,
Stumble in a temple or church,
Cannot see the light, worship music instead.

Seems the thing I idolize,
The only solace I've found still innocent,
As I lose myself in the lyrics and bars,
Fear gives way to reassurance; heaven-sent.

In melodies shown the only safety I trust,
For notes and words will continue to resound,
Though miles away from the nearest pew
Headphones become an altar, sermon written in song's sound.
Music is the only thing I worship
625 · Mar 2018
Love Is Funny
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2018
Isn't it funny, how just hearing
his name makes you smile?
You feel like the blood pumping
from your heart could flow a while.
You are clear-headed
once given his advice,
He holds the power to transform
This daily purgatory to paradise.
He will make the world stop turning
on the first beat of your command,
He is the final piece to the puzzle
you before couldnt understand.
He completes the picture
You envisioned for your life
Beautiful despite the ongoing
Suffering, stress, and strife.
He has an extraordinary gift
One so special and rare,
The magic ability to capture
Your entire heart with just a stare.
He knows he could hurt you but wouldn't,
By doing you wrong or pushing you away,
It's obvious how captivated you are
By the spell he casts on you every day.
The bond between your two hearts
Is so strong it will never sever,
He is the one you love, and will continue to,
Long after forever and ever.
This was an old free verse poem I turned into a rhyme. I didn't like how it sounded before but now it's pretty legit.
625 · Jan 2021
River Of Shadows
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2021
Standing outside seeming lost
Striding circles with confusion
To the side by waves I am tossed
Sea simply an illusion
Losing self I've always known
Chasing light that is fading
Where sun once brightly shone
A river of shadows I'm wading
Forever rise to fall to knees
Rusted
Bent
Bruised
A cycle of mocking memories
Reminding me I was used
The ascending sun seems further away
Round the earth slowly spins
Harder feeling its warmth every day
Scattered like bowling pins
It's taking a toll on welfare
Screams of peace of mind
Louder as life strips me bare
There is nothing good left to find
This silly sadness spawned space
The emptiness consuming my soul
A powerful demon wearing the face
Of person who once made me whole
Why did I ever let you mean so much?
625 · Oct 2019
Tomorrows And Yesterdays
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2019
If I had a quarter for every time I wished
For you and I to take a trip to yesterday
I don't know exactly how rich I would be
But it would add up to a lot of change

I don't know what I'd do with that cash
But I would spend every cent on you
Doing whatever you like till it's gone
Or till there's nothing left to do

Or we could leave where we are for good
Pack up all our things today and leave
I could take your hand and whisk you far from here
To a place our tomorrows will always be happy

I will say farewell to bad memories
Never look that direction again
Like arrows we will fly toward the future
Our time in this small town will end

Presently I have your heart to hold
And although time may never give me a replay
I am too lucky to be nostalgic
Done wishing for yesterdays
Day 6: write a poem of any length incorporating every word from your latest Facebook status update

"If you don't change what you are doing today all your tomorrows will look like your yesterdays"
624 · Sep 2018
Storms Inside (Haiku)
Amanda Kay Burke Sep 2018
There are storms inside
Rainfall that should not exist
Trapped within my heart
I try to keep it contained...
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
Night whispers your name in the dark
My soul bleeds sin, leaking grey pools,
The sharp blade of guilt pressed against me too tight
Carve me atom by atom, chipping away my molecules.

The missing pieces hurt most
You should know, you've taken them all
My hands tried to heal these gashes
The moment before I do I fall.

Not strong enough to stand without stumbling
Through skin I can see outlines of each bone
Breathing polluted air, lungs poisoned by your absence
Exhaling any positive thoughts I still own.

When I smile it is for the people I love
They hate seeing me dismayed
Day after day continue this routine
Attempt to keep up this charade.

Those around me don't seem to notice
I must have a great poker face
Hurt can only be read in my eyes
No trace of suffering observable in any other place.

Want a dramatic reaction?
Stop waiting for me to cave and show
Not sure what expression you were expecting
Each passing moment I'm suppressing tears that yearn to flow.

It was you who played games with our feelings
I loved you, but you loved the dope
Tried not to let it get to me, bring me down
Quickly found out my inability to cope.

I cut ties with every dream I could
Couldn't break chains you placed on my back
Afraid I've become too intertwined with your darkness
I thought our bond could withstand any attack.

Here I fall, feathers fraying fast,
Hoping to pull through before they snap
Say you will be honest with me
So why are your stories filled with holes and gaps?

Allow yourself to show your heart completely
Freedom to be who you are
There is peace discovered in accepting your flaws
Many times I have seen you move moments far.

Left behind to shrink and fade
Storm is raging through our hearts
Hurricane of sadness ruining our souls
A survivor I stand missing quite a few parts.

Here we are yet again but why?
What should I do? Stay or go?
Think it out for a little while
Choose too fast because I am feeling low.

I am forced to watch my plans depart
Floating away with drifting days
I worked to repair areas from which they fled
I'm simply lacking a way.

Watching plotlines of our story
Distance opening my gullible eyes
I can't edit the screenplay
It's already scripted with lies.

Not sure exactly how our story will end
This may not be mendable and I'm scared
Been drowning in your pain so very long
Cannot find the surface to come up for air.
I dont know what to do these days. How do I be happy? Why cant everything be the way it was before?
623 · Feb 2019
Eventually
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2019
If you love something
You should set it free
Not keep it chained
Where it doesn't want to be
Because if that love is true
And meant to be
It will return to you
Eventually
I have to say this is one of my favorites. I am quite proud!
623 · Jul 2021
Spooked
Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2021
I thought by now I'd feel better
The past few months spiraled hard
For answers looked among constellations
My faith put into a tarot card

I have been shook by superstitions
Seduced by the way they sound
Agony altered my belief
No longer a skeptic without you around

Haunt me until I cannot find sleep
Forcefully frightened by your ghost
Your absence spooks instead of strengthens me
Facing the reality of our love reposed
I have always been a believer in the supernatural/mystical elements of this world
623 · Oct 2020
Withpauls
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2020
When I do not see you for awhile
Start going through withdrawals
Like when you’re addicted to drugs
Dependent on alcohol

When I eat food is tasteless
In fact hard to enjoy
Much anything consumed
Focused on the void

No matter what’s done or said
Nothing distracts from absence
If I keep hours busy
Not once your thought leaves my head

My brain obsessed with you
Turning memories around
Try focusing on anything else
But way your laughter sounds

Impossible to be at peace
I wake up alone
Emptiness follows me from our bed
Clinging to each bone

Inside stomach sits a knot
Tangled with concern
Ball that gets tighter every minute
Messages left unreturned

I hate how I need your kiss
To function throughout day
Did not realize contact was necessary
Til moment it was taken away

My heart beats unevenly when you are gone
Stays like that until you come back
Every ***** placed in my body
Is in some manner out of whack

I am more than just miserable
Sick without you here
Unable to be myself
Until presence is again near
When I miss my boyfriend Paul
623 · Jul 2018
Questions (Part 7)
Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2018
Do you still love me like you once did?
Im starting to feel like you don't.
Where did those feelings fly off to?
I want to change for you but I won't.

Am I able to turn around and avoid a collision?
If not we will be left with more careless aches.
Is there enough courage inside these bones to be better?
Still making the same stupid mistakes.

Are you tired of my selfishness yet?
I can tell you are by the tightness in your jaw.
Didn't I warn you to stay far away?
It seems my ice is too thick to completely thaw.
I was right
622 · Jul 2024
Paying The Price
Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2024
You didn't want love I offered
I continued life alone
Both lucky
You more than I
To be alive on my own
It's 11:11
Make a wish
Won't come true for you twice
Time I lost missing you is now yours to spend
You are paying the price
Written 3-3-21
622 · Jan 2021
Stopped In The Name Of Love
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2021
I am always in a hurry
To get you out of my mind
Love stops me at every turn
Can't leave you behind
Though I have tried
Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2020
If you knew how deeply I love you
Amount of pain you have made me bear
Would fall to your knees in tears
Full of regret that you pretended to care
You may care a little but not like I care about you
622 · Sep 2018
Putting Walls Up (Haiku)
Amanda Kay Burke Sep 2018
I have been putting
Up walls faster than you can
Demolish the bricks
The reason people are lonely is because too many of us build walls instead of bridges
622 · May 2019
Empty Hallways Empty Pages
Amanda Kay Burke May 2019
All that's left are empty pages
Words I can't bring myself to write
Stuck in a pit of self-loathing
Telling everyone that I'm alright

I roam empty hallways alone
Scared things will never be the same
Wish I could take everything that once was
Set all the memories up in flame

I am free-falling into nothing
Disappearing into thin air
Cannot exist without you
You remain okay and unaware

Although you cannot see it I'm bleeding
From wounds you opened within
The purest form of sadness escapes
Seeping ike the melody of a violin

Though you are the cause of my pain
Know you didn't do anything wrong
Have only myself to blame
Believing you could stand me for long

Clearly I was foolish and naive
Thinking you loved the things I do
Even though I'm hurting now
I will never regret being with you
No matter what happens between us I could never regret loving you. Because I never thought I deserved your love anyway.
622 · Dec 2019
Royal Treatment
Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2019
A true friend
What I thought you were
You pretended to be
Was blind to your dark side
Too long for me to see

Not all are *******
Most of them girls are the same
Some girls turn out different
Treat like a proper dame

Taken
I thought that you were one of those
Believed we were queens
You left that royal treatment
Somewhere in our teens
I cannot form an elegant line lately. Ugh.
621 · Sep 2020
Set You Free
Amanda Kay Burke Sep 2020
Why am I never enough for you?
I try as hard as I can
Maybe it's my fault for thinking
You could be a different man

Everybody makes mistakes
That's what forgiveness is for
But the whole point of saying sorry
Is to not do it anymore

I know I hurt you in the past
So this pain is what I deserve
But how many times must you break my heart
Til my punishment is served?

I can't take the fear and stress
Inflating my insecurity
The worst part is you won't explain
What exactly is so wrong with me

What makes her worthy of your time
When we barely have any to spare?
How can you give her your attention
While I beg you just to be there?

Just when I start to trust you again
You prove it's all a lie
Acting like I am overdramatic
When your treason makes me cry

How would you feel if you read my texts
And it was other guys that I missed?
I'm pretty sure you would be scared
That we ****** or maybe kissed

What gives these girls a reason
To call you "love" and "babe?
Are they just misunderstanding?
Or are feelings taking shape?

I show the depths of my devotion
Treat you with acceptance and respect
Yet in return dishonesty
Is what I've come to expect

By now I've realized things won't change
You always convince me otherwise
And stop your games just long enough
For the next one to take me by surprise

Whether it's my fault for cheating
Or yours for not letting go
Bottling up emotions will never
Move us forward or help to grow

If it's revenge you're seeking
Do us both a favor
Get it over with already
And end this bad behavior

There is no justifiable excuse
For talking to others this way
After I clearly express disapproval
Behind my back you disobey

I would rather be even than live like this
One flirtation after the next
Never sure if you are where you say
Suspicious of each text

Tell me how to fix this mess
Mend wounds once and for all
I long for the intimacy we once shared
Before regret erected high walls

I'm sorry for what I've done in the past
But two wrongs don't make a right
I'm willing to keep giving everything I have
Just prove that it's worth the fight

If you have truly found a spark in her
That no longer exists within me
My selfish arms will not hold you back
I love you enough to set you free
Ugh I hate how jealousy festers in my intestines and burns my insides slow
621 · Aug 2018
Too Days
Amanda Kay Burke Aug 2018
Too sudden. Too real. Too much.
Too soon to fail and lose it all,
Too late to wake up and realize
I'm about to hit the wall.

Breath is coming quicker,
Lungs are caving in,
Maybe it's the heartache
This sinking room is drowning in.

Truth is dawning on me,
Desperate words crawl out my throat,
Pleas are a rocking ocean,
I'm trying to stay afloat.

I did not know that anything
Hurt this much and now,
Need a way to get you back,
I just don't know how.

I am scared you're gone for good
Because you say what you mean,
Two days have come and passed,
I still have not woken up from this dream.
Written 10/23/12

Sometimes I think I was a better writer back then..
621 · Jun 2020
Braille
Amanda Kay Burke Jun 2020
This time I am going to do things differently
I'm so scared we're destined to fail
Was in a state of blind hope before
Blinded but I learned to read braille

All this feels vaguely familiar
It's only a matter of time
I'll find out you haven't changed
Not ready to accept the signs

I wish I decided with my brain
I'm in a battle with my heart
One pulls your direction
The other
Drags away cause we're better apart
I wish I could read braille for real
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2019
Why are you still playing games?
We are a bit old for that now
Is it possible you're still the same?
I would fix you but I don't know How

Crazy how we were once young
Thought the thrill would last forever
Dwelling on past moments and songs we sung
Not understanding why we aren't together

I feel you bend the rules
Every time I catch your tricks
You make of me a fool
Doing it just for kicks

Maybe there's a good reason
For your net of make-believe
Wondering if you get the severity of your treason
You sure don't understand what it means to grieve

You process sadness like a child
Do not say you want to die
Parts of our personalities have been defiled
But not those we try to deny

You are capable of playing fair
If you did I'd participate
Choose to keep cheating and see how you fare
Pretty sure you're aware of your fate

You had almost won not just the round
But the whole ******* game
Right before the victor was crowned
You were forced to resign with shame
Playing around here a little with metaphors
620 · Nov 2020
Two Brains One Bullet
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
I feel you grab forearms
Same skin you lovingly kiss
Keep burning for that side of you
More and more it comes to this

Room with uneasy air lingering
I'll try to forget whichever fight
Had that led to all that noise
It's still going to be alright

I will convince myself to take the blame
Swallow down but it's stuck in my throat
Swear it's what I must deserve
The back of my mind knowing I don't

Telling stories to **** with conscience
Tempted to believe but know better
We can do this back and forth for a bit
This cannot go on forever

Arranging pieces to fix what we broke
Tangled with promises long overdue
Never have your attention for long these days
When I was young I mattered so much to you

To feel that again I'd give
My fears and sacrifice
Listened to your point-of-view
Then I realize we won't get that twice

Laughing and living in love each day
Was alive not just existing
I should have known it wouldn't last
I'm hurt and my body is constricting

Now I am broken by the one I love
I'm feeling betrayed
Know you are in pain yourself
Wondering if I should have stayed

To follow instinct was stupid
Should have been chasing my heart
I didn't have the stamina
Because I was falling apart

A good person what I was trying to be
Once thought I did the right thing
Didn't just hurt you with my decision
More like mutual suffering

I inhale unbridled woes
But part of you is dead
Swear to die so you can't **** me yourself
Bullet through both our heads
Written 2-9-19
620 · Mar 2018
All Of Me
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2018
I love you with all of my heart
No, more, with every atom inside
Each cell in my body lives for you
My molecules long to be by your side.
Another text to Tay. We always talk about how we love eachother with more than all of our hearts, with everything that we are, every fiber of our being. It feels good to givle yourself wholly to someone and actually feel them give themselves back.
620 · Aug 2018
Honest Angry Words
Amanda Kay Burke Aug 2018
We say things we do not mean when we fight
This is not anything new
What concerns me is the painful fact
Some of those words are true
Listen to what people say to you when angry. Oftentimes they've been wanting to tell you that for awhile.
618 · Jun 2019
Not Upset YET
Amanda Kay Burke Jun 2019
Nothing horrible has happened yet today
Maybe for once things will go my way
My tummy is full and I am in alright health
Now I am ready to start bettering myself
I started using an app called Moodpath today to help me figure out why I have been behaving so crazy these days
618 · Nov 2020
One Deliberate Glance
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
Do not gaze in wonder

Paralyzing completely with one single
Purposeful glance

The depth of your stare affects me more than expected

Sadness in my soul climbs to the surface and escapes my lips with a sad drawn-out sigh
Quiet
Heavy

The nostalgic moments play in head from the carefree days of our youth

With sounds of our four lungs breathing in synchronization the only noise disturbing the comfortable silence dousing the room

The sarcastic smile I have grown fond of lands on your transfixed expression as you state in a simple loving manner
"We do not get along like we used to. I swear there is no one else in the world I would rather have kick my *** than you and your dainty yet damaging fist"

Wanting to one-up heartfelt compliment I reply
"I agree completely, there is no one else on earth who could ever hug me so tight my feet lift off the ground afterwards and have amazing passionate make-up *** with besides you"
Written 4-17-20
618 · Jan 2018
Like You
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2018
Like a wave,
You crash over me,
Open my eyes with,
The calm of the sea.

Like a book,
Your pages read clear,
Sentences true,
Chapters sincere.

Like a wagon,
You carry the weight,
Of love, hold it up,
As your wheels rotate.

Like a compass,
I use you to guide,
My direction
I let you decide.
Another old one I edited. Much better now. I would love any critique or compliments.
617 · Jun 2018
A Pity Party (Haiku)
Amanda Kay Burke Jun 2018
Let's have a party
A pity party that is
Drink up our sham-pain
Inspired by the song title Champagne for my  Real Friends, Real Pain for my Sham Friends by Fall Out Boy
617 · Dec 2019
Pretending
Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2019
Pretending tomorrow
We'll both be different
Changed from who we are today
Actually want me to be happy
Stop clutching onto each word you say

Pretending habits don't have the best of us
We're content with a life of sobriety
Like the sound of that idea
Wish it was that easy

Pretending a wish or two comes true
The floor tossed into a pile
Like eachother but not all the time
Wish for me to smile

Pretending we can build home like before
Set against a sky of gold
Magically capable of exploring possible futures
Every desire taking hold

Pretending we will find salvation
Life just one cruel joke
Silhouettes waiting for goodbye long overdue
Death to claim what life broke

Pretending every day to try my hardest
Both know my love is a sham
Want to be a better person for you
That's just not who I am
I'm growing to be good at pretending
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
I cannot stand who I've become
Cannot stand my own reflection
This person I view in the mirror
With no grasp of time or direction

Expectation destroying tender brain
Watching it chase thoughts around
Want to corrall the wayward beasts
To some corner to never be found

Time keeps doing *****
Throwing me place to place
I attempt to assert dominance
It responds by quickening pace

Fearing not the days passing
But my use of how many given
Not for lack of trying you see
I work hard but most days aren't worth living

My arms too weak to carry this load
My dreams too disobedient
Walls are whispering to eachother
Starting to question my sanity and sense

I cannot see my image clearly
Behold no beauty in my eyes
Pacing through flaws as I please
Every night escape with highs

Struggling to remember who I was before
Lost important parts of my soul
Wish I had done things differently
I'd sacrifice all I own to again be whole
I look at myself in the mirror and can't help but think I'm the worst version of myself I could possibly be
614 · Dec 2019
Not Enough
Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2019
What is so wrong with me?
Why am I misunderstood?
Seems like all I ever cause is harm
I just want to do good

I push away from me
Asking myself why
Have become so hard to love
Own heart dares not try

Growing up many times was told
I should always be myself
Those same people tried
Sculpting me into someone else

By now realized I'll never
Be good enough that is clear to see
How could I ever be enough for the planet?
I'm not enough for me
Feedback?
614 · Apr 2019
The Real Me
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2019
I wish I was still the girl who stole your heart
When I would sing at the top of my lungs
Wish I laughed with the same authenticity
As when we were careless and young

We were happy wasting time together
Friendship as strong as steel
I attempted to show my gratitude
For the love you proved to be real

Lived in a magical stupor
Fueled by Mountain Dew and your caress
Over and over downplayed my desire
Infatuation I tried to suppress

Even after my parents disapproved
I loved every imperfection
You were too irresistible
I couldn’t help my affection

When my heart was taken I had no clue
Did not see how much I’d grown to care
Then you began slipping out of my control
Helpless, I was quickly running out of air

All I want is to love each other like that
You are willing to try once more
I can’t give myself completely
You need the person I was before

I am now a hologram of that lively girl
You can only see who I was
I am sure you’ll hate the real me
Fear you’ll see her soon enough
I feel like you are in love with who I used to be not who I am today
614 · Feb 2018
You've Got Me
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2018
I never knew what pain was
Until I felt the sting of withdrawal
That's the kind of hurt that can cause
The strongest toughest man to fall

That's why I would do anything
Just to taste another hit
That is the biggest reason why
It's impossible to quit

I know that it's pure evil
It's poison but it brings me peace
Causes so many problems
But **** I love that sweet release

I spend all the money I have
On a vice that I despise
This love-hate relationship
Will surely be my demise

Too broke to go to rehab
Or support this habit
If I knew what would help
I would reach out and grab it

I become lost and hopeless
I want so badly to heal
But I'm always trapped by
This sickness that I feel

I used to look into mirrors
And see a smile there
Hating my reflection has
Replaced my smile with a glare

Is there any way to change?
Or is it already too late?
The worst part of this gutter?
I created my own fate

If I could go back in time
And do things right instead of wrong
I would never let this
Awful drug string me along

******, you've got me
Im addicted, bound to your high
But I swear I am trying with
all my strength to say goodbye
This was written 1/14/17 over a year ago but reading it takes me back to the way I felt when I wrote it. I remember exactly how trapped and powerless I felt, not even recognizing the person staring back from the mirror, not caring about myself enough to look after my body, whether I lived or died didn't matter at all, I was just going through each day barely hanging on to the few threads of goodness I had left in my life. I am so much happier now and reading this makes me even more confident in my decision to never touch that disgusting poison again. This is my motivation. I don't ever want to be that girl again, I was a hollow empty shell of the real person I have now become and I have so many things that are fulfilling in ways that drugs will never be!
613 · Nov 2018
"You're Crazy"
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
Crazy

A word I have always hated

Am I insane?
Should I be locked inside an asylum?
Perhaps put on medication?

Please do not patronize me by exploiting my insecurities in a condescending manner

I told you where my soft spots were in confidence hoping you would understand
Hoping you would speak with a sliver of sensitivity

I'm regretting that now as you aquire a taste for the way it sounds in your mouth
You save it for those moments where you really want to see me boil over

The reason why I hate being referred to as crazy is because I am somewhat psychotic
I am already scared of my own irrational behavior as it is
I am terrified of my slipping grasp on reality
I know I am crazy

I don't need you to remind me
I'm gonna show you crazy
613 · Apr 2018
Injured Survivors
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2018
Five long years I gave you
I will never gain back
Waiting for a careless driver
To get his life on track

Your plan did not include slowing down
You swore you would stop but you lied
As soon as I buckled my seatbelt
You swerved, I was then stuck for the ride

The road was bumpy, we flew too fast
I was scared the brakes would go out
Careening and navigating blind corners
Lack of concern filled me with doubt.

Each broken traffic law
Proof of your foolish bravery
I begged you to switch down a gear
Hand over the ignition key

Full of pride, you refused to change seats
Convinced me I was safer riding shotgun
Promised this lengthy joy ride was over
That your old wicked ways were done

Should have never gotten into your car
I see now you are addicted to the speed
You always choose the dangerous road
What you want not what you need

I eventually grabbed the steering wheel
We collided; a frightening flash
Now we are injured survivors
Trying to heal wounds left by this crash
You are always in the driver's seat, you just might not know it.
612 · Mar 2018
Scissors And Glue
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2018
I am the glue that holds your mind together,
You are the scissors that slash my sadness apart.
Today Tay said to me "You are the glue that holds my mind together." Which of course made me melt. And then inspired me to write this.
612 · Nov 2018
Addict
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
Crave you like an addict
Miss your poisonous high
I'm happy without you or drugs
Yet I want you and I dont know why
Your love is my drug
610 · Feb 2019
1000
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2019
To everyone who has shown support
Thank you from the bottom of my heart
You have no idea what you have given me
Just by reading each work of art

The validation I always yearned for
Recognition for how much I've put in
Have allowed me to realize I do have true talent
Inside my head within

I appreciate every last view
"Likes" and "Loves" even more
When I see a poem added to a collection
It reminds me what I do this for

It feels good to see my writing trend
And end up on the front page
But that doesn't compare to that time I won the daily
Overnight my poetry was put center-stage

Now "Backspace" is up to almost 50,000 views
Far more than I thought I'd ever get
And the number slowly keeps climbing
It's to all of you I owe this debt

To the one who added one of my haikus
To a collection where it was read
And the one who reposted a song I wrote
Or anyone who shared some of my work with a friend

To each follower who looks forward
To every new piece I create
To all who took the time to send me a private message
To thank me for posting and say they relate

What really fills my soul with pride
Is reading the comments you leave
Some people are so kind and positive
Their encouragement hard to believe

If all the compliments are genuine
And the words they type are true
My achievements are the result of dedication
So I owe my success to the thousands of you

This is for those who consider themselves fans
For the spirits I have inspired
For anyone who has been touched by my rhymes
To make an impact was what I most desired

These stanzas are not an adequate way
To express the depth of my gratitude
But I have no money or other assets
So it looks like y'all are *******

Just know that I do pay for your admiration
In the currency of blood, sweat, and tears,
I've spent more time writing than clocked in at work
And I held a full-time job for five years

So this is my display of love
For all you wonderful people I don't know
And the others I do that have offered praise
And watched my skill develop and grow

I will forever be thankful for how you have helped
My confidence and bravery
Because of you I haven't put down the pen
Whenever a reason to live hard to see

You have no idea how much your thoughts mean
On my worst days this is where I escape to
So this is my way of saying I am appreciative
I couldn't do this without all of you
1000 poem!!!! I can't believe how much progress I have made on here. It's been a couple years but I have found more inspiration and motivation here than the previous eight years without hellopoetry. I thank you all for EVERYTHING! Hope this makes all my followers smile!!!
609 · Mar 2019
Pieces Of Me
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2019
"Do you still love me?"
"Of course I love you"
  "How much?"
"I love you with all my heart. Well, what's left of it anyways.."
A real conversation between my boyfriend and I
608 · Mar 2018
Half Of Me
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2018
Half of me yearns to forget your name
Memory that burns like an ember
The other half is stubborn
Determined to remember
The decision between what you know and what you feel is the hardest you will ever face. I chose my head and it led me right to my hearts true desires. And now I am happy and feel like I made the right choice.
607 · Jul 2024
Old Spice
Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2024
When I smell Old Spice it takes nose back
Think of being close to your skin
Was it your sweat as our pulses raced?
We were producing promises to win
Homemade pizza promptly devoured
Flour handprints on ****
Bedazzled jeans
Holes in both knees
Blond hair perfectly cut
I remember admiring freckles
Couldn't take your eyes off my smile
Inebriated night after night
Dreamed of walking the aisle
When tasting Smirnoff *****
Always think of our start
Hearing laughter in my mind
No matter how long we have been apart
It's crazy how little things can take you back in time

Written 3-3-21
606 · Apr 2019
Sleepwatching
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2019
I stare while you peacefully sleep
Trying to peek inside your brain
It is the trust issues plaguing my thoughts
Driving me this insane

Why do I act crazy
Every time I get too close?
All I desire is a guarantee
That I am the one you want the most

You say you are happy with me
But something won’t let me believe
Hesitation in your smile
Betrays truth I long to receive

A confession would ease my worries
You show no honesty as evidence
To prove promises are accurate
Strengthen your defense

I wish every word you said was true
My heart would have relief
It’s hard so unsure I ponder
Your emotions as you sleep
Yes I sound like a stalker I know
606 · Nov 2020
Half Of Your Presence
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
I see so clearly now
That I've had some time
Living in a separate realm
Somewhere I cannot find

Do not know where your mind is at
Only focus on one thing most of the day
Where do your thoughts go when you're well?
When you're high and your problems drift away?

I long to know where your heart goes
Often it runs somewhere far
It's there more than here with me
Some distant planet or star

To follow is my desire
Where my hands can reach
With not just physically
Aim to practice what I preach

The way you turn emotions off
Only a moment of dissent
Has me hiding so maybe you won't see
A thick yet transparent loosely guarded discontent

Cried many tears for you
Added up and washed my sight
Point of view began to change
Presently I realize that it wasn't right

The way life lived day-to-day
May not have noticed back then
Should have noticed a lot sooner
Of your flaws
It was easier to pretend

Well guess I should regret that now
A few years down the road I will
Hard to explain
Despite all the games
Do it all again for you still

You and I have something unique
Heart has never felt love this strong
Blind I may have been when we met
Still feel your arms are where I belong

To say I love is an understatement
Blame cupid
Making me fall
Maybe Aphrodite
Or St. Valentine
Has me heeding to your every call

Maybe it is the universe
Pushing us close with an invisible force
No cause for my attraction to you
Guess destiny is just running its course

Your behavior proves to be unchanging
Lose more you each day we make it through
More than 1/2 of your presence
Need to have all of you
Been taking sometime to catch up on all my old poetry I never had the chance to post on here
606 · Oct 2017
I Remember
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2017
I remember when you weren't,
Always in my head,
And I didn't over dissect,
Everything you said.

I remember when we laughed,
Because you were just a friend,
And I did not know that this would start,
Much less when it would end.

I remember the first time we touched,
When it meant something more to me,
But I was sure you didn't feel,
That small jolt of electricity.

I remember how I fell for you,
Despite how hard I tried,
I just wanted to convince my heart,
That you had only lied.

I remember when I saw those words,
Lit up on the computer screen,
But it felt too good to be true,
Looking back; was it only a dream?

I remember the way you first kissed me,
On that cold October night,
The shiver that ran through me,
Because it felt so right.

I remember when you held my hand,
As we walked down the hall,
And it didn't matter what people said,
You didn't care at all.

I remember the day it ended,
When everything seemed just fine,
You kissed me goodbye and I really thought,
That you were still only mine.

I remember when you told me,
That it was too hard for you,
So I sat and cried because,
I didn't know what to do.

I remember accepting the fact,
Friends were all we would be,
But for some reason I still thought,
That maybe you had actually cared about me.

I remember when I saw you two,
And I looked the other way,
Because it hurt to look at you,
And see that you were okay.

I remember how I missed you,
I still do but the days come and go,
And the less your memory hurts me,
The more I'm able to let you go.
605 · Feb 2020
Celebrate Small Wins
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2020
Celebrate small wins
That which are overlooked
Things causing grins
Stuff in places you may not have looked
Celevate even the tinieSt victory
605 · Jan 2018
Beg
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2018
Beg
Something about you turns me on,
You're perfect from bottom to top,
You know just how to make me moan,
And scream at you not to stop.

You know just where to touch my body,
Pleasure shakes me down to my core,
When the night ends you always
Leave me begging you for more.
Feedback anyone?
604 · Aug 2019
Sunshine Of Your Love
Amanda Kay Burke Aug 2019
I cannot see when I need
Foggy curtain will not concede
Full in the distance forcing us apart
These dark days you are the sunshine in my heart
I've been waiting so long
To be where I'm going
In the sunshine of your love
604 · Jul 2020
Michael
Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2020
In case I have not said it enough
I love you and need you to know
I'm always here for you brother
A fact I don't always show

Just give your sis a chance to improve
Try opening your critical mind
Instead of putting my problems on display
Like laundry strung on a clothesline

Two siblings turned out so different
Close in age yet still grew apart somehow
But realize we're not as different as we think
Comparing both lives then and now

Sometimes wish we'd see eye-to-eye
Walking down a separate road
Shadows darker than yours it seems
My company you've all but outgrown

I remember you'd pick on me
Because I was younger and smaller
You still bully me around these days
Only change is that I'm a bit taller

I am not the little girl you're used to
I often behave that way
When I get mad or frustrated
Emotions too large to convey

It is hard to say what I really mean
Words come out sounding insincere
If I loved you like I swear I do
Wouldn't even be standing here

Believe me when I say this much
You are my favorite brother by far
It doesn't matter that you're my only
Because I am so lucky you are

It must be special
The bond we share
Our hearts through distance connected
The hurtful comments hurled my way
Were concerns you misdirected

We were born
Bound by blood
Pact we unknowingly made at birth
If we both strive to excel and succeed
We can show everyone what we're worth

I will try harder
Text and call you
Make it a choice instead of a chore
Wish I didn't take family for granted
Because you definitely deserve more
To my older brother Michael
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