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Somewhere,
truth awaits,
etched in gold
or scribbled in blood
but I'm too scared
to find my own road.

Uncertainty is queen
in my greyscale dreams,
where is the key
to my inner treasure?
Everywhere I look
a mirror spits back at me
the same tired questions
I ask the world.

I'm looking for my name,
for my face and soul
in a world of silhouettes
stenciled in smoke
and I'm helpless,
I'm faithless,
I'm begging for a goal
to live and die for.

There are no signs,
no lights to guide me,
with a snake on my arm
and angels in my mind
I reach for my pen
and bleed some more.
We all walk our own road but I can't seem to find mine.
Blink, tell me what do you see?
A puzzle thats unraveled, or a finished masterpiece.
Close your eyes, tell me what do you see?
A calm quite river, or an endless rushing stream.
Now open your eyes, it’s ok to be scared, to question what you know.
But I am right beside you and, together we will grow.
Together we will grow.
I woke up this morning with a sickness to my stomach.
A fire was raging in my belly
and for the first time since my mother died
I felt a twinge if pain.
It felt good to feel something other than uncertainty.

Lately my days have been clouded by black smoke
and I find myself falling back into old habits,
clinging to a chemical high refusing to come down.
I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t enjoy the moment I self destruct.
It’s only after you’ve lost everything that you’re free to do anything.

Now is the time to risk it all,
because nothing else actually matters.
I focused my attention on that feeling
I let hurt gain control.
Hurt turned to hate.
Hate to anger.

When the world takes the love that means most to you,
nothing after that hurts.
You can’t do anything to hurt a man who has nothing to lose.
RedD Oct 30
I'm on a bungee it feels like
diving head first
falling into the unknown
.
.
.
You hold the bungee tight in your hands
but I'm sick
to the stomach knowing
this could be the last time
.
.
.
.
I see you
.
.
.
.
.
Please
.
.
don't
.
.
let
.
.
.
go
.
30.10.18
Pyrrha Oct 29
I have never known more fear than I have felt on a roller-coaster
The fear of being up so high and the possibility of crashing down

If this is what love is like then I don't know if I want it
eusamez Oct 24
Might be fun, might be scary
Heart pounding, echoing through body walls
That feeling of uncertainty
Embracing every fiber of your heart, body, and soul

Time has passed and it won't be returning
Look around, everything is changing
Stopping is not an option; just keep running
But pause. Look around, everything is changing.

A ring around my finger, my children lying in bed
From being a teenager, I am now that parent I once dread
Everything is changing. But there is one solid ground.
To have you by my side, to ease uncertainty's subtle pound.

Pull me down when my heart's soaring in fear
Stand your ground when uncertainty is so clear
Pray hard when you feel that everything is changing fast.
Then pause. Look around. Everything is changing. Fast.
Joanna Oct 22
“Oh”
Two letters. One syllable. Packing more punch than an insect striking a windshield. At least in that scenario, the pain is momentary, release is instant.

But you. You said that simple word and the emptiness in the silence that followed was anything but. Because what it truly meant was disappointment. Confusion. Regret.

“I wish I would have known”
That’s why I was telling you now. Shouldn’t that have accounted for something? Shouldn’t you have seen it was hard for me to tell you that.

Falling asleep.
I wanted to cry. I wanted to know what was going on inside of your head because **** me, I liked you now and then that happened and now I felt uneasy of myself. Of my worth. All of it through the lens of you.

I feel like something is wrong but I don’t know what. Did I do something, or is it because of what I didn’t do? Just speak your truth to me.

“Sleep well”
With an emoji. Does that equate emotion? Or is it a filler for words you don’t know how to say, feelings you can’t convey, the way you’ll break my heart eventually but for now I should ‘sleep well’, sleep well.

Well it’s hard to sleep when the person you care about is the one keeping you awake at night. Do you even still care.

“Sweet dreams”
I say. But what I really mean is I miss you. Do you miss me? I miss your touch, your laugh, the way you slightly smile when you pull back from kissing me, the way you looked at me as you hovered above: that look of genuine desire. Was it all just physical?

Only time will tell. But in the meantime I hate the social constructs that tell me to play this game, to wait it out? To not look clingy? To not want someone. I hate it. But that’s the rules of the game.

So. Your move.
© Joanna Mrsich. All rights reserved
Arianna Oct 20
It’s late, and of late
My stomach clenches with sleeplessness
And looking ahead:
In my head
Rationing the half-hours
Until sunrise,
Willing myself to rise
In time for the Morning and for living
Rather than a living.

The days merge together;
It seems but one repeats
Forever.

The only thing that changes is the weather.
Hahaha, a moment of frustration between working my *** off all day every day at the bottom of the foodchain, but still not knowing yet what to do next to build the life I would like to live, and not knowing what that life even looks like. No clear goals at the moment; got me feelin' some typa way.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxSd-l-urj8
Are you in love with me?
Or, you're just taking time to play with me.
Are you gonna stay with me?
Or, you've got just a while to be with me.
I'm afraid of my fears
And my heart is terribly scared
I can't wipe my tears
Please just tell me that I'm dear

My feelings are very true
Do not take me for a fool
Let's water what we planted
Please don't take me for granted
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