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molly's hair, homo hair.
show's the bi-polar,
but not the bear.
molly's hair, homo hair.
bi-polar hair don't care.
yes
here we are again
walls, white
cotton sheets
teal socks with the tread

we share small talk
i ask about home
things are the same there

i tell you about my bedmate
she thinks she's satan
it's all up from here

when you leave
i sit down to dinner
a jail meal

it drips from the mute's lips
who sits staring
at the table diagonal from me

she is afraid of dogs
i, a dog
bite a dry piece of bread
and cough

in this lowland we halt and look up to the sun
but see only a black sky

and when you ask
are you getting better
the response
yes

is for you
Machinations are clear
intent is curtains
Johnnie Backwards
plays.

The Golden road
to ruins.

red side
blue side
All the things we neglect to say or feel
are stored up somewhere
swirling and undulating in the deep

Eventually, they all rise up--
in a single violent urge
it exits our cowering bodies all at once

and there's nothing one can do but shake
Laying in the lawn
On a boring day
Looking up at the plain blue
"How unimaginative"

I throw the little knife into the air
To see where it lands
They say it's better for your health
To always be kind
To go through the day at a steady pace
And regulate your emotions

They say slow and steady wins the race
But they're just going through the motions
Running into oceans...
Drinking deadly potions...

High highs and low lows
My life never flows, never slows, sometimes blows
I'll never know
I'll always care

Like the turtle and the hare
It never seemed quite fair
That the fastest of us fall behind

I wish it could all rewind

A perspective that sticks is hard to find
Bird 7d
i always have cold feet
because i don’t eat
homeostasis
called me up on the phone
but i didn’t have the time
living life in the fast lane
desperately grasping at rhymes
i know why i’m always cold though
my friends and i race through the snow
in nothing but bikinis and speedos
i want to run away from you
because i don’t know how to speak
when i’m staring at your face
you touch your hand to my waist
i take vitamins to keep my hair from falling out
but i can track my symptoms in other ways
blacking out for days
dull eyes
yellow teeth
paranoia
and cold feet
I went to the end of the hall, your voice echoing
a cool breeze in a hot, dense mind
                         "we are going through the same thing, aren't we?"
you were up early that morning, and I had been up all night,
counting the wood panels in the cabin walls

we sat looking out over the lake in silence that morning in 2004,
not knowing that it would be our last trip.

                            I was up late that night in 2016
                              thinking of you
                                      in my mind
                                                  no hair on your head was missing

everything comes down to this
the way the night falls around
my cold hands
and fast feet
on the pavement
thump thump thump

and your heart beating
thump thump thump
until it didn't
and how they didn't really try to keep you alive
because you were old
but how they kept me in the hospital for weeks
in and out of coherence
my body heaving for air
my mind just asking
            for a break
and
        when I think of you now
clean air over the lake
           a smile on your face
as you died
I didn't know what you meant then
              but now, Ron
                                       I do.
Sometimes when I speak
The words don't come out,
And the sounds just sort of echo in my head for a moment
Before I forget them.

Then I try and sleep, because being awake is no longer interesting.
Constant anxiety tends to make one numb.

Later on
All the things I forgot to feel
Rush in like a flood
And I go to sleep
Because the water filled my lungs.

If I wake up
And there's fog outside my window
It's no surprise at all.
Because it's hard to make out anything in fog
And if I speak
I don't know who's going to hear it.
Charm Oct 6
Let me watch your crying soul
Let me hear its screams in the void
Let me witness its painful death
Let it just be me and you in your white dress

I enjoy watching you feeling pain
I enjoy seeing it without any shame
Don't tell me to stop because you became mine on that day
It's your fault that you chose to trust a demon and don't even complain

And I feel like if your blood touched my veins I might go insane
So I should probably stay away unless you promise me one thing
Love me when I'm angry but hate me when I'm sweet
So maybe our souls will combine and we will love until we deadly sleep
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