I feel you grab forearms
Same skin you lovingly kiss
Keep burning for that side of you
More and more it comes to this
Room with uneasy air lingering
I'll try to forget whichever fight
Had that led to all that noise
It's still going to be alright
I will convince myself to take the blame
Swallow down but it's stuck in my throat
Swear it's what I must deserve
The back of my mind knowing I don't
Telling stories to **** with conscience
Tempted to believe but know better
We can do this back and forth for a bit
This cannot go on forever
Arranging pieces to fix what we broke
Tangled with promises long overdue
Never have your attention for long these days
When I was young I mattered so much to you
To feel that again I'd give
My fears and sacrifice
Listened to your point-of-view
Then I realize we won't get that twice
Laughing and living in love each day
Was alive not just existing
I should have known it wouldn't last
I'm hurt and my body is constricting
Now I am broken by the one I love
I'm feeling betrayed
Know you are in pain yourself
Wondering if I should have stayed
To follow instinct was stupid
Should have been chasing my heart
I didn't have the stamina
Because I was falling apart
A good person what I was trying to be
Once thought I did the right thing
Didn't just hurt you with my decision
More like mutual suffering
I inhale unbridled woes
But part of you is dead
Swear to die so you can't **** me yourself
Bullet through both our heads
Hearts are not crystals
But still they shatter.
A heart has no brains
But tears it often rains.
Hearts have no eyes
But still detect lies.
So what exactly are hearts?
The Cardiac Paradox.
My HP Poem #1809
i am always carrying your name under my tongue, in that small place under my tongue and i don’t think i’m ready yet to loosen my lips and let you slip out and leave me forever because thats a scary thought, thats a **** scary thought. I’d be more comfortable cutting off my own arm or going blind or being spat into the middle of the ocean because that’s just physical, that means nothing, i have another arm, and i have my memories, and i could probably swim enough to reach some kind of island or strip of land or even just let nature take control and pull me into the arms of the big blue babe and she’d kiss me and show me her shiny shells and dead bones of fish collected in piles on the floor and i’d live down there forever and i would crawl out of my weight and leave it in a collected pile on the floor and i’d float through the air and i’d breathe deeply full of water and i’d be water and she’d be water and we’d be water and it wouldn't matter if i love you or if i’m just afraid because i’d be water and you’d be bones and blood and brains and i’d just be water, and you can’t confuse water with anything else but water but bones and blood and brains are messy and thick and runny and easily confused with things like spaghetti and red paint and death and i want to be water. clear and unmistakable.
but i’m not water, i am also bones, and i am blood, and i am brains, and i’m not one bit clear.
are The Same size as mine
can Hold so much more
than My feeble instruments;
my arms however
can lift your Heavy Body
higher than the twisting tendrils of Strong vine
stretching themselves up and out into the sky
on a ten foot trellis
your hands Tight they grab my arms then
Together They Melt into a wild new assist
hands hold fingers touch brains know hearts must
It slipped into my fantasies
a forbidden kiss upon a brow,
tenderness that longed for passion
without the threat of tears.
I fancied myself a courtesan
and dared my dreams to yawn beyond.
Centered on an intriguing glint
no brooding skies would dare chance
a pearl of rain.
My cheekbones hollowed
flush with expectancy.
A heart gaunt for liquidity
I darted like a dawning gale
and flared my skirts petulantly.
Never so intriguing was a pout
that didn't tease for something more.
If I were a bird I'm sure
I'd have feathers for brains.
Another self cynicism bit..
eyes glazed, passing...
streaks of green...
an ever changing blues...
a sudden crackling in synapses
erupting through the real!
a pale iris gaining
a meaningless menagerie
collapsing into an expanse!
within this little slab of goo!?
Shadows or shadows of shadows?
You can pretend
That the black gloss
On my lashes
Will glue my eyes shut-
Make me blind to truth;
To ‘true knowledge.’
That my red-painted lips
Only spout nonsense.
It will only make it sweeter
When my wing-lined eyes
Give you whiplash
as I walk past you
To get my degree;
Maybe if you’re ‘nice’
I’ll buy you an ice pack.
© KMH 2018