I was in fallin in love when she was the river. Dancing with the sun, in her every small ripples - I shaw her joy. I shaw her joy, by how she reflects the ray with her liquid crystal face and figure. Singing with the birds, her every splash was a chorus. I dreamed her in that way. I dreamed, when she mirror the violets of the flowers. Painted with colours, she was the live canvus of this universe.
With nothing in mind, on the soft green ground While gazing around inside of a dream Squinting of Sun, inhaling of sounds Relaxed, next to a running river's gleam Serene and sedated, the rustling of leafs A lease - eternal, an ease inside A polished, pure and perplexing peace I slowly sway into the swallowing sky
Sounds of the gush and the wingless glide Divided between blue and beautiful bright A meeting of mountains and stars magnified Below - a haze. Above - the great light The delight of the earth, protruding and proud Shrouded silhouettes and gorges that glow Maps of the sky, echoers of sound Transport me down to the wet below
Floating on top of the swirling blue salt. Exalted beyond the liquid haze. The deepest doors of this massive vault. A conversation with the warping waves. A daze of darkness in this alien waste. Embraced in unknown - pulling me down. A captive buoyancy with calm erased. The essence of life, in which I will drown.
Finally, walls, blank and opaque. The ache of vast indifferent time. With a failed past comes a future vague. Measured only by it's dangling decline. Maligned touches of world-less colour. The collar of emptiness. The forever nothing. Blacked out details unnecessarily smothered. A ruined illusion of caring for something.
I didn't want to be like her. I don't want to. I dont want to lose control. I don't want it to consume the life out of me, if i still have one that's still decent enough to be ruined. And now that's all I'm thinking. But thinking further into it, i knew we werent the same. She was lost in the midst of a peace and empty ocean. She couldnt see any land. The kind of peace where silence was her loudest enemy and thats what drove her to the edge. Me, im in a river. Holding a row without a boat. I had the fine illusion that i could take control. And even when i knew, i went with the flow like a fool, trying, i wish i could say mindlessly, trying to get away from the water. There was a destination but it was not mine. It was a preset of how everything should be but its all a blur. It's assurance but a nightmare everytime i close my eyes. It never silenced my mind.